


one shot collection [haikyuu!!various]

by yukohirai



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Divorce, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Friends With Benefits To Lovers, Friends to Lovers, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love Confessions, My First Fanfic, Physical Abuse, Romance, Songfic, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:20:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 47,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26562046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukohirai/pseuds/yukohirai
Summary: a collection of haikyuu!! x reader one shots inspired by songs.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Reader, Aone Takanobu/Reader, Bokuto Koutarou/Reader, Haikyuu!! Ensemble/Reader, Hinata Shouyou/Reader, Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader, Kageyama Tobio/Reader, Kozume Kenma/Reader, Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader, Miya Atsumu/Reader, Oikawa Tooru/Reader, Semi Eita/Reader, Shirabu Kenjirou/Reader, Sugawara Koushi/Reader, Tendou Satori/Reader, Terushima Yuuji/Reader, Tsukishima Kei/Reader, Ushijima Wakatoshi/Reader, Yamaguchi Tadashi/Reader
Comments: 40
Kudos: 293





	1. shot clock. tsukishima kei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this hoe wants some tsukkiass

You strut the halls of Karasuno High with a lazy smirk that drips of confidence. There were some confused glances sent your way as to why you, a second-year, were sauntering around the first-year halls but the number of boys crowding around to catch a glimpse of you overwhelmed the inquiring looks. Your smirk grew bigger. You turned your head to ask the nearest person a question. You give a sheepish grin, "Uhm, excuse me—" a giggle "Sorry but where is Class 1-4?" He sputters, his whole face and ears turning red, "I-i-i-it's straight down the hu-hallway uhm then a lift. I mean left. Sorry" You giggle once more, "Thanks~" You wiggle your fingers to signal goodbye to the beet red first-year, smoke coming out of his ears, as you continue to prance down the hallway determined to arrive at your desired location. 

* * *

**_"wondering why, why, why (oh why)_ **

**_know you ain't shy, shy, shy (oh why)_ **

_**i'm 'a say bye, bye, bye, but I know I won't think twice (yeah)** _

_**better let go of your pride (do-do)"** _

* * *

You double-checked at the sign that says "Class 1-4" and glancing around the crowd of curious first-year who followed you. You smile. This was good. _For you._ You roughly open the sliding door with a " **BAM** " grabbing the attention of the study-bodies of the college preparatory class. Your eyes sweep through the class locating the boy you were looking for. Your eyes meet Kei's brown ones and the smirk was plastered on your face again. You sashay towards him as you greet him with a "Hey, _babe~"_ You hear a collective gasp and you snicker at their reactions. He raises his eyebrows, silently questioning why you were here. 

* * *

**_"y_ ** _**ou got twenty-four seconds, and it's starting right now** _

_**shot clock** _

_**like, don't sleep, don't sleep** _

_**you're gon' miss your opportunity** _

_**shot clock"** _

* * *

"I came here because we've been dating for a while and I asked you to put a label on it already yet you gave not a single answer and have been avoiding me. _So_ , I came here." Your smirk falls as a serious expression dawns your face, "I have boys lining up for me, Tsukishima Kei. _Don't make me wait too long_ " You walk away from him but before you close the door you tell him "Tomorrow. 7 sharp. My house" Then let the door close with a **_slam._**

* * *

_**"Tired of being patient** _

_**What the fuck you're waiting for?"** _

* * *

You open the door to welcome Tsukishima into your home. It wasn't his first time here. 

"Was it your plan to make a commotion to pressure me into saying yes?" Tsukishima lets out a begrudging sigh directed at you, "Your fanboys are sending me dirty looks, saying I was stringing you along" You snicker in return, "Don't worry _babe_ ~ Your fangirls were saying I was—" you make air quotes with your finger " such a slut inviting _Kei-kun_ to my house"

He raises an eyebrow then chuckle shaking his head, "That was a good one (Name), I don't have _fangirls_ " You roll your eyes at him instead of bickering about it with him, you lead him towards your room already unbuttoning your long-sleeved blouse, you turn around seeing him do the same.

* * *

"What's with the bruise around your wrist?" you glance to see a genuinely concerned expression gracing his face, your eyes dart to the ceiling. Your chest tightens and you suddenly can't breathe. You reply, your voice shaky, "I said your fangirls _talked_ to me remember?" Kei's heart dropped at how _scared and pained_ you actually looked. 

* * *

_**"When a ~~n*gga~~ pull up on me, tell that ~~n*gga~~ back, back** _

_**Don't you know all of these ~~n*ggas~~ wish that they could bag that (bag that)?"** _

* * *

You were at the back of the school building, a week after the racket you caused at the first year-year floor, with the three Tsukishima fangirls who gave you a good beating before.

"So, what do you want?" You ask and they visibly flinch. Their short-haired leader who gave you the nasty bruise said "Uhm... We wanted to apologize. W-w-we're sorry for what we did. So, ugh, please tell Kei-kun to not be, like, angry at us anymore. _Please, (Surname)-san_ " You snort causing them to wince, "Yeah, sure. Whatever" _as if you were going to do that._ You walk away not sparing them another glance. _Why did they want me to tell Kei to calm down anyway? Why was Kei mad at them?_ He didn't believe you when you told him about his fangirls but your heart _fluttered_ at the possibility that he did tell them off. You grin like an idiot, you rushed to the front gates of Karasuno High waiting for him. _Maybe, he'll answer you now._ You tuck your hair behind your ear, applying lip tint to your already _very_ _red_ lips. Your grin growing bigger excited at the prospect that Tsukishima Kei likes you too. 

"You look very pretty, (Nickname)-chan~" Grin immediately dropping, you look at the owner of the disgusting voice. It was the annoying and persistent third-year who was pursuing you for about a month now. He wraps his arms around you and you shove him away from you. "Don't be so violent (Nickname)-chan~ You should keep it in the bedroom, y' know?" You send him a harsh glare as you swallow the rising bile due to his revolting behavior, you knew you had an image of being slutty and an attention grabber, which you never bothered on correcting but _still no means no_. "Why are you so angry (Nickname)-chan~? It's not like you have a boyfriend anyway"

"I do, you motherfucker, I have a boyfri—" But all words halt. Because _did you have a boyfriend?_ Kei never said yes. Kei never said anything or even acknowledged whatever relationship you had. You look down towards the ground, you bit your lip. Tears welling up on your eyes.

"She does have a boyfriend, though. _**Me**_ " Your head snapped towards the direction of the voice, Tsukishima Kei standing in all his glory. Your head was not processing the words he just said, a blank expression on your face. He saunters towards the third-year before throwing a punch, knocking him out. Your eyes widen, Kei holds your hand and drags you away from the school gates.

* * *

_**" "L", "love"  
Add "-rs", and that's surely what we are  
Flip it 'round, add "-ve", and let's see if this goes far  
Full of chuckles and cuddles and sometimes eye puddles  
Compose love like we're Mozart "** _

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: sort of vague ending(?). im doing this instead of doing my take-home tasks also kind of rushed and im sleepy so im not going to double-check anything anymore. gudnight staysafe and thanks 4 reading if ur reading.


	2. crush. kageyama tobio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> when you try to write fluff but you suck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: i've been searching for hours for a song for tobio ughhh it made me realize how angsty most of the songs i listen too are. the songs are always either sexual, angsty, or classical so yeah. i didn't want to make another angsty one i have tons of that already saved for later. 

You were looking in between the blue ribbon on your right hand and the red strawberry clips on the left. It's been five minutes and yet you haven't decided your eyebrows furrow in frustration. You took a picture of the ponytail and clips, sending it to your friend to let her choose. 

A minute later and your phone dings with her reply, 

From: Hitoka-chan💛 (1)

The blue ribbon

From: Hitoka-chan💛 (2)

Won't it make you mature looking??? 

Your friend's reply made you scrunch your nose. _No way._ You clip on the two red clips on either side of your head, so what if it was a little childish? You were cute. You rush out the bathroom, ecstatic as it was your first day as the volleyball team's manager. Both of you were invited to become the Volleyball team's manager since you were the only first-years left with no club. You would've said no but your crush Kageyama Tobio was part of the team. Maybe he'd notice you if you shared the same interest as him. You see Hitoka-chan waiting for you outside your classroom with both of your bags on her shoulder, you frown, you knew your bag was heavy. You grab the bag off her shoulders and open your lips to scold her but she interrupts you, "It's okay, (Name)-chan" Hitoka-chan smiles, "Just like you don't listen to me, I don't listen to you either" you pout and she giggles. 

"Let's go, (Nickname-chan)~"

* * *

_**"you make it difficult to not overthink** _

_**and when I'm with you i turn all shades of pink (ah)** _

_**i wanna touch you but don't wanna be weird"** _

* * *

When you enter the gym, you glare at Tobio's stubborn form, you just came back from refilling his empty water bottle. You tried to convince him to go home and you gave up halfway. It's been an hour and he was repeatedly practicing his serves. You put down the bottle where his bag lay. You sigh looking at him, you want to hold his hands. Hug him. Your face reddens at the unholy thoughts that entered your mind, you fan your face to _maybe_ cool down. 

"(Name), are you fine?" His voice reaches your ears. You cup your face, reddening even more. _When did he even go near me?_ You suddenly feel a hand on your forehead and then on your cheeks. Your eyes widen and your knees give up on you. You _never_ had physical contact with him. In fact, you barely had any physical contact with any boy. Only once in a blue moon did you hold your brother or father's hand. You can easily hide your feelings when it was just a conversation but when he does something physical your eyes spiral out of control. _Mama tells me only your husband can touch your face_. 

Tobio repeatedly shakes your shoulder to get you to answer him but it caused you to short-circuit even more. You tried to compose yourself but Tobio's shaking got the better of you, you shove him away from you. Your eyes augment as you see Tobio with his butt to the floor looking at you with a shocked face. 

* * *

_**"and i'm pretending you ain't been on my mind** _

_**but i took an interest in the things that you like (ah-ahh)** _

_**and i'm just tryna play it cool now** _

_**but that's not what i wanna do now"** _

* * *

You stood up, dust off your uniform, and cross your arms. "You don't just touch women, Tobio-kun" Tobio's face slightly flush but he reasons with you, "Your face was suddenly red and you looked hot. I thought there might be something wrong." 

You turn your head away from him and huff. _He was right._  
  


"I've been wondering, for a while now but—" His voice stops. 

You wait for a second or so before you peer at him, waiting for him to continue.

"But do you like me?" Your eyes enlarge and you cough wildly. You smack your chest multiple times, trying to stop but it wouldn't stop and now, Tobio's hands were patting your back trying to calm you down which ultimately ended up with you coughing more. You slap his hands away from you. 

It took you five minutes to calm down. 

When you were _finally_ composed. You send him a discordant look, "Where did you get that idea? _To-bi-o-kun?_ " You stretch out each syllable of his name. 

He sputters, "Ugh, sorry. I- uh. But you were murmuring that you liked me in your sleep. It was on the day we uhm- lost to Oikawa-san. You slept beside me on the bus" 

* * *

_**"yeah it's true that i'm a little bit intense, right** _

_**but can you blame me when you keep me on the fence, like** _

_**and i've been waiting, hoping that you'd wanna text, like"** _

* * *

You remember that. You remember waking up with a sore neck, you slept with your forehead placed on the window. You didn't even swoon over his blushing face when you woke, you were too upset at him that he didn't even bother fixing your position. _Well, now I know why he was blushing and wouldn't spare me a glance._

"I thought you did like me and I was about to confess to you but you'd send me a glare and your face always seemed so intense when I was near. So, I thought you might've just had a weird dream but-" He scratches his head, looking up as if in wonder. "But I think you like me"

His statement was filled with so much confidence that you wonder where it was stemming from. You stammer, "Y-y-yeah so what if I do?"

"Nothing. Just that I like you too" He shows a small smile for you and your heart drops.

_Whoops._ Your soul just left your body _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: there you go. it wasn't fluffy as i wanted (it probably wasn't fluffy at all) i suck at fluffy or really sweet things probs cuz i never experienced it🤷♀️ also you'd rarely see the reader confessing. I just can't write about things or the feelings if I don't experience it in my real life. :((( ALSO DID NOT DOUBLE CHECK THIS. thanks 4 reading if ur reading.


	3. vintage. kuroo tetsurou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ex + alcohol = bad decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: this short tho

[vintage by niki lyrics](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-uQxYRhVGE)

**[vintage by niki spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/1NCUe90ZCiWTnWn3umrwqw?si=KrhHrE_YQYOKWix_YV_9-w) **

* * *

Flashy lights and flashy music. Flashy rings and flashy bags. It was an "end-of-the-year" sort of college party. You were not the type to go to these things but school had ended and you were in a surprisingly good mood. You fit in right to the party with your lips painted in red sporting a confident smile. Your hair in a [loose bun](https://pin.it/296eL8v), wearing a [flashy top, and denim pants](https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/620159811176304398/). You felt especially good today, it reflects in the way you smile and the way your eyes shine especially bright. 

* * *

_**" speak of the devil, my, oh my** _

_**walk in with that devilish smile** _

_**that's one thing i haven't seen in awhile (in a while)** _

_**how have you been since i called you 'mine' ?** _

_**you look so good in this light** _

_**got me reminiscin' 'bout our good times (good ol' times) "** _

* * *

You were already tipsy when he arrived at the party. You don't notice him when he enters, you were busy chatting with your friends, giggling with a dazed look in your eyes but his eyes lock onto you. It wasn't a surprise really, you were the center of attention, with how beautiful you looked that night. The moment he set his foot in the party, whispers about how you were in the party reached his ears. You _rarely_ go to college parties preferring to go to clubs instead so it got his eyebrows raising as to why you were here. He took one step and another towards your direction. He broke up with you last year, he remembers you begging him to take you back, you even slept at his doorstep once to convince him. _So what is he **doing** , going to you? _His mind supplies a number of excuses like " _You look really pretty with the lighting. Sort of like an angel"_ But all that making excuses stop when Kuroo's arms raise and before he could stop himself, he already tapped your shoulder. You turn around, your eyes immediately locking into his, your eyes widen in shock then crinkle with warmth and a nostalgic fondness as his name leave your lips, "Tetsurou~"

His breath hitches.

* * *

_**" still as charismatic as ever** _

_**comebacks come back clean and clever** _

_**why we ended, i don't remember** _

_**can't believe i once said 'see u never' "** _

* * *

You and he banter back and forth. It's been an hour yet he was perpetually amused, you were charismatic as always and your comebacks never fail to make him chuckle.Every minute that passes by, he fails to notice. _This was bad._ He can't even _remember_ why you two broke up. You take a step closer to him, your hands run up his arms and his throat constricts. You smile up at him, you tell him how much you miss him, you tell him how you still think about him every now and then. Your head leans closer. Kuroo hesitates but promises himself, " _Just for tonight._ " as he meets your lips with his. He's just jogging his memory on your kisses, Kuroo reasons with himself as you tilt your head for better entry and arms wrapping around him while his hand rests on your waist. 

" _Just for tonight,"_ Kuroo thinks as he lends you his heart once again, " _Just for tonight"_

* * *

_**"been a year since we finished** _

_**baby, me and you, we vintage** _

_**but tonight you make me miss it** _ _**"** _

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: this made me realize i suck at dialouges i actually wanted kuroo and the reader have a back and forth sort of dialogue but i suck soooo. (probs cuz i don't make cool comebacks in real life😞)don't worry there's a part 2 to this (well not exactly part 2). i like the artist here, her lyrics are always clever and creative. like i learn so much words. zephyr???? summer 1976??? (summer 1976 actually about history tho). i actually have so much songs lined up, i just don't know which haikyuu character I'll give it too. cuz i just wanna dump all the angsty ones on oikawa.(sorry oikawa love u tho).(but srsly i have so many angsty ones(or sexual ones sorry not sorry) for oikawa that i feel bad.) anyways my authors note be longer than the actual fic sorry again ALSO ON THE SPOT WRITING SO PROBS A LOT OF MISTAKES. thanks 4 reading if ur reading.


	4. needy. oikawa tooru

[needy by ariana grande spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/1TEL6MlSSVLSdhOSddidlJ?si=_BgHyHYtT3O8MoWSDGrf-A)

[needy by ariana grande visual lyric video ver.](https://youtu.be/GjwVfIxN2i0)

a/n: it's better if you play the song while you read. i tried to time it so that when the lyrics come up, you'd be reading it . idk if it worked since some might be reading slowly while others faster. btw this chapter isn't the best lol sorry

* * *

" _osaki ni shitsurei-shimasu_ " you say while bowing to your older co-workers. you were leaving earlier because you were going to watch your boyfriend's match. the elders nod and smile at you replying with " _otsukaresama deshita"_ . you dig through your bag, searching for your phone while walking to the train station. you cringe as you look at your phone's notification over the past hour.

"oikawa tooru sent you a message (12)"

"oikawa tooru called you (6)"

"oikawa tooru called you (7)"

"oikawa tooru sent you a message (13)"

"oikawa tooru sent you a message (14)"

* * *

_**"if you take too long too hit me back** _

_**i can't promise you how i'll react** _

**_but all i can say is at least i'll wait for you"_ **

* * *

ever since you started dating he flooded you with an onslaught of messages and calls but you were _sort of_ used to them now. you always wondered if he was like this with the girls he dated before you went out with him, he didn't strike you as the guy who would be clingy, in fact, quite the opposite. you thought he was the type of guy who would _forget_ he had a girlfriend and hit on other chicks yet here you were clicking onthe first message, ready for his over-use of question marks, emojis, and tilde.

From: oikawa tooru (1)

hey (nickname)-chan r u coming straight here???

From: oikawa tooru (4)

you wont regret comingggngg (nickname)-chan~~ im so gooooood and amazing and ill make you fall in love with me

From: oikawa tooru (13)

r u still working (nickname)-chan????????? 

don't take too long to reply pls or else ill be super sad~~~ :(((((((

From: oikawa tooru (14)

iwa-chan is telling me to stop bothering you now :((((😞😞 

alaavchuu babe~~ stay safe on d way here, _k?_

your eyes stick to his " _alaavchuu"_ on the latest message. your heart pounds. your eyes slowly blink once. twice. thrice. you knew it was his own stupid way to say "i love you" that he uses. your pace quickens, trying to get to the gymnasium faster before you take on a full sprint. nervousness and dread creeping onto you.

_because he only says that when he's vulnerable and scared._

* * *

**_" sorry if i'm up and down a lot (yeah)_ **

**_sorry that i think i'm not enough_ **

**_and sorry if i say sorry way too much_ **

**_you can go ahead and call me selfish (selfish)_ **

**_but after all this damage i can't help it (help it)_ **

**_but what you can trust is i need your touch"_ **

* * *

You were screaming. He was screaming back. You were hitting him. He was throwing things. He hated fighting. You hated it when you fought with him. You knew he was frustrated. you're trying to be considerate. _but you need him to at least **explain.**_

* * *

**_"and i can be needy, way too damn needy_ **

**_i can be needy, tell me how good it feels to be needed_ **

**_i can be needy, so hard to please me_ **

**_i know it feels so good to be needed"_ **

* * *

"tooru?" you look down to see his chocolate-colored hair, arms wrapped around your torso, his face looking at the side with his ear placed where he can your heartbeat, the aftermath of your exasperating fight. he hums to say he's listening. "tooru, i love you, you know? and i know you love me but i want you to take it down a notch." your hands traveling to his hair with the intention of petting it but fails to do so when tooru shuffles around the bed where you two lay and ultimately ended up sitting, it signals to you the sincerity of what he was about to tell you.

"(name). i-i. i'm sorry if i. if i-i-" tooru looks upward biting down on his lips, attempting to contain the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. you extend your hands to make him look at you, cupping his face. then you wait. for five seconds.for thirty seconds. for two minutes. waiting patiently for him to tell what he's always wanted to say but never did. until now. he grabbed you making you sit on his lap as he buries his head on your shoulder. you can't see it but the dampening of your shoulder indicates tears he let fall. 

"(name). i love you" a pause. it was the first time he said it so directly without saying something atrocious like " _alaavchuu"._ your arms tighten around him.

"sorry for being so capricious. i'm- i'm sorry for being so selfish. sorry if i think i'm not enough. i'm sorry. i-i-. i love you (name). sorry for being so needy. sorry for being so desperate sometimes. sorry for always saying sorry . i'm scared you'd leave. scared you'd disappear. i'm sorry"

you force him to look at you again, "i forgive you. you just have to slow down, tooru, i'm not leaving you anytime soon. so you don't have to be scared. i love you. tooru, i love you so much-" you giggle before continuing, "soon, there are times that i'll need you too. i'll be needy. _very._ when that time comes, _tell me how good it feels to be needed_ "

* * *

a/n: i don't really like the ending :( well whatever i'll get better someday. thanks 4 reading if ur reading.


	5. ghostin. sugawara koushi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sad sugawara

[ghostin by ariana grande visual lyric video](https://youtu.be/wR-Iaf9JQf4)

**[ghostin by ariana grande spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/2vdBo4ALPYbHRUPKgtE5iC?si=DCpQL5CkSoahX182F8HhQg) **

* * *

**8:45**

You took off the ponytail that held your hair together and placed it on the wooden nightstand beside your bed. You slip inside the covers, laying on your back, you look up at the plain white ceiling.

"Goodnight, (Name)" Your eyes look over to the left side of the bed, to where a gray-haired figure lay. Your heart swells and you send him a smile, your eyes crinkling. "Goodnight, Koushi"

* * *

**_"i know you hear me when i cry_ **

_**i try to hold it in the night** _

_**while you're sleepin' next to me** _

_**but it's your arms that i need this time (this time)"** _

* * *

**1:35**

You wake up. Tears streaming down your face. You send a cautious glance towards Koushi's sleeping form, not wanting to wake him up. You turn to your side, back facing him. Chocking back down your sobs, you were shaking now as you remember the images that flashed in your sleep every now and then. The car that flipped. Your screams and his silent tears. The small "I love you" he told you when he took his last breath. A strangled cry escapes your lips and your clamp your limps to try to silence it. You hated this. You hated thinking about him when Koushi slept right next to you.

* * *

_**"you been so understanding, you been so good** _

_**and I'm puttin' you through more than one ever should** _

_**and I'm hating myself 'cause you don't want to** _

_**admit that it hurts you"** _

* * *

**2:00**

You debate getting the sleeping pills you keep in the very back of the drawer of your nightstand. 

"(Name)" Koushi mutters in his sleep, his hand extending trying to reach you. Your eyes soften and the heart inside your chest felt like breaking. You need Koushi. You love him. 

"Koushi" You call out to him, his name sounding so mangled as it leaves your mouth. His eyes snap open, "(Name)?" his soft voice stuttering, eyes already filled with concern. He reaches out to you.

"Koushi" You repeat his name, a desperate plea. You drag your body closer to him and when you were close enough he immediately wraps his arm around you. "(Name)" Koushi says as you bury your head on his chest. You sob out loud, your body trembling. You repeat his name like a mantra. 

* * *

_**"** _ _**he just comes to visit me** _

_**when i'm dreaming every now and then (and then)** _

_**and after all that we been through (and after all that we been through)** _

_**there's so much to look forward to "** _

* * *

**2:15**

"(Name)?" Koushi calls out when your cries and quivering came to a pause. You look up to see his face, his lips bleeding from biting down and his eyes red. Tear tracks on his face that dried up. Your chest felt like it was being stabbed repeatedly. You knew. You knew it hurt him when you cry over another man when he was right beside you. You knew he was going through more than he ever should. You knew that when night comes and you lay on your bed, you weren't the only one crying. You knew. 

You knew yet you won't stop crying over a dead man.

You say it out loud for the first time, "Koushi. _I love you_ " The arms around you tighten to the point you can't breathe and the tears he held back for a year came flooding out. The pain and patience that he maintained for the whole length of your relationship. You knew the burden he carried, his sorrow over being in the shadow of a dead man. You open your mouth to apologize, to explain that that man was dead already and you won't ever leave his side but he beat you to it.

"I know, (Name). You don't have to say it anymore. _I understand"_

* * *

_**"i know that it breaks your heart when i cry again** _

_**over him** _

_**i know that it breaks your heart when i cry again** _

_**instead of ghostin' him"** _

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: really hope you play the music while reading because the music is kind of 50% of the experience(?) and try to read the lyrics as it comes up with the song(altho we all might have different reading paces soo whatever. i've been experimenting (?) with different writing styles for every chapter. im sorry if most of the one-shots ain't that good i just kind of listen to a song and kind of wing it from there. never really plan these out which is kind of bad.like on the spot writing hehehehehe so yeah thats it. so this is simple one but i really like it (might change my mind in the future tho) anyways thanks 4 reading if ur reading.


	6. feels. bokuto koutarou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dumb fuck confesses and humiliates herself in a cute dumb way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so im confused on how to do this in ao3. so much easier in qoutev lol.

[feels by kehlani lyrics ver.](https://youtu.be/8V6u3JX-Nhg)

[feels by kehlani spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/4BOikd4oZjOYMde9AXfrTo?si=QUmnxvAMS7mhc7RX7BZ7Iw)

a/n: tried to time up the music again.

* * *

_"I like you a lot! You're so amazing (Name)-chan!" Bokuto tells you as you win him an owl plushie in the claw machine game at an arcade near the school. Your chest tightens. You look at his close eyed smile and his fingers that were making a peace sign. Your heart drops and you frown, you knew he was saying this without any underlying meaning. Just platonic. You knew that but you wish you didn't. You turn around saying a soft "Okay, that's nice" as you walked away._

You punch yourself in the face ( _but not too hard cause you're a wimp_ ) as you replay that moment in your head over and over again. You were denying your feelings for half a year now but when he said those words and the effect it had left you breathless. You cannot believe this (actually you can). You cannot believe—a disgusted expression on your face— _you **like** _bokuto koutarou. _ugh,gross._ ( _his handsome face and drool-worthy thighs flashes through your mind_ ). 

"I CAN"T BELIEVE THIS AGDSHHSGSD UUUUGHHHGHH" 

( _you totally can_ )

* * *

**_" i ask myself, "is this shit real?"_ **

_**i contemplate 'bout how I feel** _

_**but you make it way too hard to think** _

_**that this could be what true love is"** _

* * *

You enter the gym where the men's volleyball was practicing, you were one of the managers after all. You were kind of guilty since you never come when they had a training camp or something, thanks to your dad who don't trust boys ever since your last failed relationship(s), it already took a large amount of effort to convince him to let you even continue being a manager.

* * *

**_"you give me feels and i_ **

**_know that, know that it, know that it's real_ **

**_you give me, you give me feels_** "

* * *

"(Name)! Could you pass the water bottles around?" one of your senpais, Yukie Shirofuku says with her usual drowsy tone. You energetically nod, taking the water bottles from her. You pass the bottles the closest people which were Konoha-san, Komi-san, and Sarukui-san then heading to where the two first-years and Washio-san were (the first years were probably asking for spiking advice by the looks of their repeated spiking motion). You go back to where Yukie-senpai is to grab the remaining two water bottles for Akaashi-senpai and Bokuto-san at the corner of the gym. _oh, bokuto-san._ Now, normally it wouldn't mean anything but last night you _finally_ accepted your feelings for him that you denied for about half a year. _You like him. a lot._ Your face reddens as you remember last night you practiced your confession ( _you weren't actually practicing your confession because you're a wimp and a coward instead you imagined him telling you he loves you because you're a wimp and a coward_ ). You really liked Bokuto. Like so much. What if he likes you too? What if when he told you he likes you he actually meant it? Your face reddens _even more_ ( _How was that possible?_ ) A loud voice ( _one that you knew too well_ ) pierced through the gym—

"YUKIPPE WHERE IS MY WATER?" Yukie-senpai points toward you instead of replying (since she can't raise her voice even if she wanted too). Bokuto looks toward you with a small, "oh".

* * *

**_"you give me feels and i (you give)_ **

**_know that, know that it, know that it's real (that it's real)_ **

**_you give me, you give me feels (feels) "_ **

* * *

You immediately look down towards the hardwood floor of the gym. _What were you thinking?_ You snort at yourself. Why will Bokuto ever like _you_? He doesn't have a cute nickname for you as he does for Yukie-senpai. You were a second year, he'll never look at you as a woman, you'd probably be stuck as a _kouhai_ manager in his eyes. You weren't tall. You didn't have an s-line. You weren't smart. You weren't elegant nor graceful. Tears of frustration well up in your eyes, you could hardly see. Everything was blurring now. You were choking down your sobs. 

"(NAME)-SAN! LOOK OUT!" but it was too late as you trip over a stray volleyball and land head first. You sit up, seeing everyone rush to you, _even Bokuto,_ that's when you realized the humiliating situation you were in. Worried eyes look at you when tears surface. _Now,_ you were full-on sobbing. You cried and cried and cried.

"(Name)-san, are you alright?" You hear Akaashi-senpai's voice and Bokuto's silent "Yeah, you okay?". The whole volleyball team looking down on you as they were standing around you. You sob louder.

"NO! I'm so fUCKING FRUSTRATED. I WISH I HAVE BIGGER BOOBS" You wail as you threw your arms everywhere. A flushed look graces everyone's features out of embarrassment but you don't notice, instead, you continue your hysterics. "I wish I was a year older. I wish I'm pReTty aND sMaRt aNd hOt anD sExY aND cOoL CAUSE I REALLY LOVE YOU, YOU KNOW???? LIKE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH uuUURGHhG hhhnggg" Continous streams of tears were falling down your face, you probably look like a dried prune with your face all scrunched up but you could care less. 

The volleyball team was visibly perplexed, sending confused glances to each other while Akaashi sent a wary glance to Bokuto instead, eyeing the ace who was sporting a visibly upset expression. Yukie opened her mouth about to question the younger manager but Bokuto beat her to it which surprised most.

"W-w-who do ya love?" Bokuto points toward Akaashi, "Him?" You send him a harsh glare and Bokuto visibly flinch. You stand up and shove him (which you fail to do so seeing as you are a twig). Your hands balled in a fist, you were seething. 

**"NO, YOU IDIOT FUCKING DUMBASS. LIKE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. IT'S YOU. YOU THAT I LOVE STUPID STUPID** " Bokuto wore a blank expression, one that just screams confusion. " **YOU KNOW WHY I'M SLEEP DEPRIVED??? BECAUSE OF YOU! I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU LAST NIGHT! I-I-I** " Now, you were crying again (it was that time of the month was your excuse) " **YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I KEPT THINKING ABOUT YOU SAYING YOU LIKE ME??? HUH??? WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING YOU DUMBASS?? YOU DON'T JUST SAY THAT KIND OF SHIT** " You punch him in the chest, repeatedly (which was like super hard by the way) " **YOU"RE SO HOT AND I FELT LIKE DYING. LITERALLY. I WAS ABOUT TO BUST OUT A PROPOSAL, Y'KNOW???** " 

You were huffing and puffing. You took a step back when you saw Bokuto's flushed expression. You swivel around to look at the other members and you were greeted with the sight of embarrassed faces. Your eyes widen, realizing what you just said. What you just _did._ You turn to face Bokuto again, rubbing the nape of your neck. You let out forced laughter (which ended up sounding like a dying whale) "Uhm... I was just uhmm sorry Bokuto-san. I have to go. I-i-i-m sorry" you turn around ready to run the _fuck outta here_ but you ended up tripping again. You wince as you touch your temple, _it was bleeding._

Then you fainted.

* * *

You rub your eyes. White ceilings were the first thing you saw. You looked around and noticed the familiar curtains surrounding you. School Clinic. But what were _you doing here_? You're eyes look wrack your brain for answers.

_Oh._

Your expression slowly fills with horror as the events of the afternoon replay in your mind. It was the result of frustration and sleep deprivation ( _and thirst_ ). You immediately sit up taking the blankets off your body and slipping your shoes on your feet. You open the clinic door to go back to the gym to apologize and take back everything you said but instead the sight of Bokuto Koutarou's surprised face greets you. You open your mouth to apologize but was cut off when his lips crashed onto yours. You were taken aback, of course, this was Bokuto we were talking about. He retracts his head, a sheepish grin filled his face.

" _So,_ we're dating now _right?_ "

Then you fainted again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this isn't that good either lawl i promise it gets better (?)


	7. uwu. kozume kenma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i am soft for kenma ✊

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: this song screams kenma. fight me. 

[uwu by doja cat lyric video ver](https://youtu.be/VwJkl6KshJw)

  
  


* * *

You giggle as you look at Kenma, _he's too cute it should be illegal._ You were sitting on the couch. Arms wrapped around Kenma's torso who sat in between your legs with his back leaning on your chest as your chin rests on his shoulder. You were kind of comfortable with money and paid other people cash to line up and buy the game when it first released. You were lazy, you were _so_ not gonna line up at 4 in the morning. Nothing is worth waking up early for. Kenma didn't bother with its release either, he knew you were going to buy the game, he'd just borrow from you. This game doesn't interest him that much, despite its huge popularity and talk about being ridiculously difficult, he'd only line up if he _really likes_ the game. He said the game solely banks on it's "difficulty" to hook in players. His eyebrows furrow and he sticks his tongue to on the side. He furiously taps the game console. 

You were screaming inside, _he's too cute asdfghjkl aaaaaahhhh._

* * *

_**" you're so uwu (ooh)** _

_**you make me wanna do (do, oh baby)** _

_**naughty things to you (naughty things)** _

_**all these things to you (all these things)** _ _**"** _

* * *

You burrow your head in the crook in between Kenma's shoulder and neck, _maybe if I suffocate myself with his smell I can breathe????._ Your arms tighten, "(Name)? You're killing me" He struggles in your hold, twisting and turning you suddenly let go of him causing him to fall the floor. His eyes wide, console safe in his hands. _He looks like a cat._

You scream in frustration and Kenma drops the console to cover his ears. You grab the nearest throw pillow and shove your face in it. It effectively muffled your scream until your soul left your body. 

"(Name)? Are you done?" You nod, bracing yourself for— "Please stop that, (Name)-san. It makes you look demon-possessed" 

A sweat-drop.You pout, "Sorry, I got frustrated. You looked really cute". A really pretty shade of red settles in Kenma's face but turns his head to hide his embarrassment, "Stop it. Complimenting me will not get you anywhere." 

You tilt your head, feigning innocence "I don't want to go anywhere though?" Kenma blankly stare at you for a minute, then two minutes. You raise your hands in surrender, "Okay, fine. Whatever. I'm frustrated, what can I do? You won't let me _touch_ _you"_ Kenma's whole face and ears turn red. "Please stop."

You narrow your eyes, he insults you into the conversation but when it doesn't go the way he wants it to, he'll drop it? A lopsided grin plasters itself on your mouth, " _Now, Kenma._ You got three options. Hands, mouth or—"

"STOP IT" Kenma looks like he was about to faint. You raise your eyebrow. You haven't said **anything** to warrant this reaction, _Is Kenma even real? He's too cute really._

Kenma breathes in. Then out. He wasn't mad but irritation evident on his face. His eyes snap to you and narrows, "You should wash your mouth with alcohol and maybe it'll rid the filth from your mouth" He stands up to head to his room letting the door slam. You were left with your jaw on the floor. _Isn't he overreacting too much?_ Then the image of him almost dying when he asked you out for the first time. Horribly sleep-deprived like he's been dreading confessing to you, passing out, when you said you liked him too, out of exhaustion and mental stress. It took a year for even him to stop flushing when you held his hands. He only lets you cuddle up to him when he's playing cause he barely remembers you're even there unless of course, you're squeezing the life out of him. 

_okay maybe you should really stop pouncing on him_

* * *

_**" cause baby you're so uwu (oh yeah, oh yeah)** _

_**you make me wanna do (oh yeah)** _

_**naughty things to you (oh yeah)** _

_**all these things to you "** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: uwu is not officially on Spotify which is a crime. it's one of the cutest song ever. did not double check this sorry. thanks 4 reading if ur reading


	8. odds. iwaizumi hajime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hajime > work

[odds by niki lyrics](https://youtu.be/ZNws8YaQ7S4)

**[odds by niki spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/6PUtUVzOu0Wj6RvoJKini9?si=rpXRb7f0RVme2Y_-C0UcRg) **

* * *

_**" this has got to be a joke** _

_**the universe fuckin' hates my guts** _

_**remindin’ me 'U' and 'I'** _

_**don't spell 'US' "** _

* * *

**three**

It was an accident (really). You were in a restaurant, it was the very place you both had your first date in (the only diner in the area). You randomly passed by the place (you didn't live near here anymore but your job had you near the restaurant) and the wooden sign with " **Yamazaki's** " on it made you feel nostalgic. You entered, thoughtlessly, wanting to just enter the place that held so many memories for you. The waitress guides you to your table and all movements halt. Your eyes lock onto his. (Was this how those female leads in movies felt?) You felt the world stop spinning for a fraction of a second. (You haven't seen him in years). He looked just a bit different, a tiny little _something_ has changed. (Maybe it's the beautiful girl beside him). He opens his mouth _maybe_ to greet you but you're already telling the waitress you want another table and would not sit there. (So, what if you're being petty? He obviously shouldn't care anyway). You hear chair legs scratching on the wooden floor, his hands grab your arms but you refuse to look. You don't turn. You don't look at him. So he takes it upon himself to face you instead. Your head was hanging, your eyes won't meet his. Iwaizumi doesn't force you anymore. He already hears what you won't say out loud. (You wish he'd make you talk to him. Maybe work _something_ out but he's righteous and you know he won't push you). Iwaizumi says something probably an apology. You mutter about how his date was waiting for him. You don't wait for him to reply, you just leave.

* * *

_**"don't care how long it takes, my heart is yours to break** _

_**i'm never giving up against all odds"** _

* * *

**two**   
  


You now made a name for yourself in your industry (Two years of drowning in work to distract yourself). You were in a cafe, iced coffee in hand. You sat by a window looking out at the people walking in sidewalks. When he walks in, your hold on your coffee cup tightens. Then it loosens. You still miss him. You really can't get over him. It was ridiculous, you did not want to be this hanged up over _a boy_ (but he wasn't a boy). Iwaizumi Hajime was an oasis (Are you a poet now?). Years of mistakes and regrets (boys cheating on you, boys hitting you, boys with serious issues), and Hajime comes in and he was everything you ever wanted. _Sure, you had bumps in your relationship but you both made it work._ But all of that ended over something as stupid as your jobs. You love your work and so did he. You weren't giving up your dreams for a man. And so was he. Your friends said you're a 'somebody' now, you could get anybody now. But was it that worth it when you were _nobody_ to him? It tore you apart. Over the years, both of you made attempts to reach out to each other. Maybe try but when you tried to find him, he suddenly moved (his job really) and when both of you met in the middle you were with someone new (rebound). Another time you met him and his ex (the girl at the restaurant) sabotaged your meeting, causing a scene, telling you to back off. Bad timing. Always. You sigh out loud. Hajime was now exiting (he didn't notice you, you were safe in your corner window seat), you wanted to reach out to him instead you look out the window.

* * *

_**"never in my damn favor** _

_**don't want you for later** _

_**never was much of a waiter"** _

* * *

**two-point five**

_And this is why we'd never end up together,_ you think as you rush to the door. You will never be together if you let it end like this. You'll chase him. Chase him, 'till your stars align. _I don't care if it's pathetic. I love him and I'll be damned if I ever let him go._ Your head looks right then left. You see his form and you run. You run faster than you ever did. You'd take day-offs. You'll put him first. You'd leave your job if he wants to. You'd change the odds.

* * *

_**" when i'm there, you're not** _

_**you're here, i'm caught up with my job** _

_**and your clingy ex comes back a lot** _

_**then she leaves and you shoot your shot** _

_**but there's someone new i've got** _

_**and the cycle never stops, no, no (no, no)** _

_**but there's nobody else i want, oh** _

_**don't care how long it takes, my heart is yours to break** _

_**i'm never giving up against all odds "** _

* * *

**one**

He turns around and sees your hair flying everywhere, you halt. He really missed you, (He'd curse at the bad timing of your relationships). But he's taking his chance he's been wanting to meet you, he finally shook off his ex and he swore he'd prioritize you, _fuck his job_. There were thousands of jobs out there but only one _you_. He wordlessly held his hand out and you grab it without a moment's hesitation. You smile and he smiles too. He pulls and you land on his chest, and as both of your lips draw closer, smiles never leaving, both of you think _don't care how long it takes. we'll never give up against all odds._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: this kinda rushed tho. i debated on putting the last line because it was cheesy but i was like fuck it can't think of a better ending line. thanks 4 reading if ur reading.


	9. who. miya atsumu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sad atsumu :(

[who by lauv lyrics](https://youtu.be/XQmDNPSEA-A)

**[who by lauv spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/2qG81jL9UIP54uS8gYyP4k?si=mAib85LCSwmF-XdE_Re8DA) **

* * *

Atsumu sighs for the nth time staring at the dark blue ceilings. It had glow stars that faded over time, you put it there, he didn't like it due to its childishness but he let you. He'd let you do whatever you want. He feels you stir, you'd probably wake up soon. He doesn't look at you. He doesn't really want to see you right now. He doesn't want to be beside you right now. Your touch, your eyes, your voice everything about you made him recoil. When the momentary pleasure of making love left. He was empty. Empty because it wasn't the same. Empty because _who the fuck are you?_

* * *

**_" sometimes you make me feel crazy_ **

**_sometimes i swear i think you hate me like (uh)_ **

**_i need a walk, i need a walk_ **

**_i need to get out of here"_ **

* * *

He feels you shuffling in the blankets. He still can't look at you. He wants to vomit. He felt bile rising in his throat, panic settling in his chest. _I need to go._ So, he sits up avoiding your inquisitive look. _Out. Out. Out._ He repeats it like a mantra, you were suffocating him.

"Can I leave now? I feel gross after you touched me" His fists clench, he shut his eyes. He swallows hard. This was why. Alcohol will lead you to his doorstep every Friday night, you promise him promises, you tell him sweet _everythings_. You know what he wants to hear the most, you tell him you love him, you miss him, that you'll go back to normal. He'd hesitate, you'd persuade him. You use his emotions against him, his vulnerability. You'd use the fact that he's still hoping you'll come back. He'd fool himself into believing the words of a liar. Then after it's done you act as if what you hate him. Hate his guts, hate that you spent the night. Hate all of him. Then you come back another night. Osamu tells him he's being dumb, " _Just say no. What are you thinking so hard for?_ ". Osamu obviously does not fucking understand, when you were drunk you act the way you did in the past. Giggly, bright, cracking jokes and participating in playful banter. He'd regret it after. He always does. But at that moment, _he'd let you do whatever you want._

"I'm using the shower then I'm leaving," You say emotionless. "Stop looking so constipated, At-" You stop, you scrunch your nose. In the past, he'd coo at you. Tease you about how cute you looked. _But,_ Atsumu thinks to himself, _You don't even want to say my name._

It was true, you'd rather not say his name out loud. You'd vomit with disgust. _You really hate him_ but you keep on coming back to him. Akin to a beggar, you'd beg for him to love you, _to fuck you_ every damned time. The fact, that you love him and still want him to make love to you disgusts you to no end. You glare at Atsumu's unknowing back, I hate you is what you think, yet a very persistent voice in the back of your head whispers _I love you_ instead.

You grab your Marlboro cigarettes, you needed a smoke. 

* * *

**_" when the morning comes you're still in my bed_ **

**_but it's so, so cold_ ** **_"_ **

* * *

After your smoke and shower, Atsumu was gone. He had left to take a walk, probably not wanting to see you anymore. A twinge of disappointment gnaws your heart. Usually, in mornings like these, he'd have breakfast waiting for you. You scoff at the pathetic memories and without any more thought, you left his apartment.

* * *

**_" who are you?_ **

**_cause you're not the girl i fell in love with_ **

**_who are you? (who are you)_ **

**_cause something has changed, you're not the same_ **

**_i hate it"_**

* * *

It was a Friday night and Atsumu made up his mind. He'll turn away from you. He's tired of waiting for you to love him once more. He's tired of convincing his self you don't hate him. Tired of waking up every Saturday to find you still in his bed. He used to be thankful you didn't leave him cold and alone but now, _what difference did it make when he still felt cold and alone even if you were right beside him?_ Atsumu feels like he built enough walls around him. So, when the doorbell rang Atsumu stands up and takes a deep breath. He'll turn away now, he'll give you a final goodbye. He opens the door, his walls high and tall. 

" 'Tsumu-kun. Look at this! It's yah favorite candy" Your eyes shining and bright, it felt like before when everything was perfect and great. "You told me no one's selling it anymore, but I saw it at this vintage candy shop this morning and thought of you." You shovel your hand in this black plastic bag, looking for the candy perhaps. "It's somewhere in here. Wait for a moment, Atsumu" 

He opens his mouth to say something. Anything. But not a word leaves his mouth. _This morning_ you had said. It meant you thought of him and bought a candy that you reminded you of him before you were even drunk. Atsumu's heart soared. His tall, tall walls that you were demolishing every passing second. He feels your small hands shove the candy towards him and he grabs it from you. _Kisskiss candy,_ it had a horrible and cringy name but it's flavor sickly sweet and addicting. He bites his lip, he shouldn't falter so easily. His eyes that never left the candy, snapped to you as you sheepishly say, "I missed, y' know? I've been thinking about you this whole week. I kind of hate what we're going through now but it'll get better y' know?" And here you were, lying between your teeth. Only a fool will still believe you when you've been repeating the same words every week for a year. But it's his lifeline, your words sickly sweet _yet so addicting_. _Maybe_ , Atsumu thinks to himself, _this time it's different_. His hold on the Kisskiss candy tightening. He's believing your words so whole-heartedly. He'd probably regret this when morning comes.

_But for just this moment, he'll let you do whatever you want_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: oof no happy ending here folks. this relationship be kinda fucked up tho hehe. this dude my number two pick (after Oikawa) for fucked up relationships. did not double-check this shit. kinda proud with this one tho i think it's good (or it may just be my sleep-deprived brain). neway thanks 4 reading if ur reading.


	10. japanese denim. tendo satori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tendo is cute tbh

[japanese denim by daniel caesar lyrics](https://youtu.be/7fwMho6nQq4)

**[japanese denim by daniel caesar spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/1boXOL0ua7N2iCOUVI1p9F?si=2Pswl9X-Rsqx_tnrAakRng) **

* * *

Tendo never really thought of love but _damn,_ whenever you were around his heart jumps up and down that he literally cannot stop being clumsy in front of you. It doesn't exactly help that you were the same, clumsy, tripping all over the place when he was around. Maybe if he still hated you, he'd tease you relentlessly but how can he hate you when you told him _he was beautiful?_ It's cheesy, really, but Tendo Satori's heart ricochets when you compliment him. It's _so stupid_ to get flustered over stupid-er compliments but you say them so whole-heartedly that Tendo just can't stop himself from smiling. From falling. For you.

He was _so_ in love with you and _you_ were so in love with him, too. You said even seeing the color red made you smile because of him, it was the first time Tendo got flustered. He was stuttering and couldn't think of a reply. So, he just ended up staring. At you. At your beautiful words. At your beautiful-er smile. He's so in love and so whipped that he doesn't care how you insulted him the first time you met. In fact, it amuses him instead. In fact, he loves you so much. In fact, that was out of topic but whatever he loves you so much that that's the only word he could think of when he's with you. He really loves you. Which scares him, but you were hisjeans. You said you wanted to be his jeans which flustered him for the second time ever:

_"Mother says good jeans lasts your whole life," You told Satori "I want to be your jeans"_

_Satori tilts hid head, "Eh?" He couldn't think of a reply. Jeans? What was the connection?_

_"Well, duh~ I want me to last in your life, stupid" You roll your eyes and shake your head as if this was all common sense. You basically said you want to spend your life with him. 'Did you not realize that?', Tendo thinks to himself. You replied like you read his mind, "Obviously, I'll marry you after college so you better get a good job that'll make you rich or else daddy won't like you"_

_It happened slowly first his cheeks then the whole of his then it spreads to his ears and neck, "W-w-w-whaaaa? Eh? EEeeh?" Yeah was heart is combusting so he placed his cheeks on the cold tabletops of the ice cream parlor, maybe if he shoves his head to the table enough the ground will take mercy on him and swallow him up. You giggle at his antics, what you said next had him dying, quite literally. "You better get me a nice big ol' diamond ring, kay?"_

_Tendo now has to worry about diamond rings on top of his student loans. Lord have mercy on him._

* * *

**_" met you at the shop, summer's getting hot_ **

**_i'm lonely (lonely, yeah)_ **

_**i'm in the city on my own (city on my own)** _

**_never would've thought you'd be the one_ ** **_, i got a homie"_ **

* * *

Tendo met you in the ice cream parlor, you worked in. You insulted him the first time you met. 

" _Chocolate?_ What are you? A child?" You snicker, Tendo narrows his eyes at you. He was the only customer in your stupid shop you should at least be nice to him. He sneers, "This is why your shop is empty, the servers are rude _and_ pathetic" He might've insulted you more than he should but you infuriated him. You were obviously a daddy's girl who knew nothing about the real world if the designer bag you had on the countertop was anything to go by. Tendo doesn't like people like that. People who don't work hard because their parents would shelter them their whole life. 

Your ugly, red, scrunched up face was the last thing he saw as he left the shop, chocolate ice cream in hand.

* * *

_**" my blue jeans would last me all** _

_**all my life (oh,yes)** _

_**so should we?** _

_**i'm spending all this time "** _

* * *

The sight of you in a wedding dress keeps him breathless. There was no one else except you, him, the priest, and his friend that will serve as the witness. Your father did not give his blessing, you expected it but you thought he'd change his mind. _He was your daddy after all._ In the middle of the night, after months of crying of your separation with Satori, your mother had whispered her love to you, her permission for you to go.

_"He's your jeans, isn't he?" Your mother whispers, "Go, baby. Good jeans are hard to find. They're either too expensive or easily fall to pieces. But you found it, haven't you? The one that fits you perfectly."_

It disappoints you to no end your father wasn't there but you weren't letting go of Tendo. Not now. Not ever. Your breathing fastens as the light makes Satori's hair and eyes glow. Make _him_ glow. You teased him about wanting a diamond ring but that wasn't true. You didn't want a wedding. You wanted a marriage. A life with him. So, when you stood beside him in front of the altar, Heaven was what you felt. Tendo Satori embodied heaven on earth. You'll stay for better _and_ for worse. When his hold on your hand tightens and unshed tears shining in his eyes, you know he's thinking the same. His breathing was shaky, _he looks really beautiful_. You face forward as the priest starts.

You'll never let go, _not when you and he fit so perfectly_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: ok i think i got carried away. the wedding thing popped out of nowhere cuz my fingers were suddenly typing a wedding scene. well whatever. btw guess the friend who's in the wedding (it'll be super easy tho i think you'll already know) k bye thanks 4 reading if ur reading. (did not double check)


	11. bored. hinata shoyou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there not be enough angsty hinata fic

[bored by billie eilish lyrics](https://youtu.be/rCfTlR8fXVs)

**[bored by billie eilish spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/04sN26COy28wTXYj3dMoiZ?si=PUd2mZEHSQCc4Hbjabocmw) **

* * *

They say time is gold. That it slips away from your fingers like the golden sand in beaches. They very obviously did not know what they were saying. Time for you is akin to tar instead. _It's too slow._ Time was sucking the life out of you. A fast-forward button would be nice. 

Your routine goes a little something like this: Wake up, make breakfast, do the dishes, do nothing, skip lunch, lay in bed, take a shower, lay in bed, make your husband's bento so he can just reheat it in the morning. Probably skip dinner too and sleep. 

You wake up in an empty bed and an even emptier house. He wakes up and leaves before you wake and when he's back in the house, you're already sleeping. You don't know why you even bother anymore. It felt like no one was living in the house anyway

* * *

_**" giving you what you're begging for** _

_**giving you what you say i need** _

_**i don't want any settled scores** _

_**i just want you to set me free "** _

* * *

You've been convincing him to sign the papers. You tell him you don't want the house, you'd leave everything and you won't demand a share of his money. 

" _Just sign the papers, Hinata" shoving the fountain pen in his hands. He pushes you away, "What do you mean sign the papers? I don't understand (Name)-chan" He tries to smile but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Let's not talk about this anymore, okay? Ugh, I-i-. I love you? You-ugh. You need me so don't leave me, mmkay? You just need time" He fumbles over, grabbing his coat. "I have to go, you just need time"_

_You just need time,_ your eyes narrow, _He needs time._ Looking down on the papers, he'll never sign it. 

* * *

_**" bored, i'm so bored, i'm so bored, so bored "** _

* * *

'4:35', it says in your watch. You just finished making Hinata bentos and side dishes he can reheat. You shopped for frozen foods, seeing as those were the only things he can cook and tissues, alcohol every utility supply he might use. You made a list of important numbers he might need and delivery for food in case he ran out of what you prepared. You finished the laundry, folded his clothes, and arranged it perfectly like you always did. You cleaned the already speckless house. You ran out of things you need and could do. A home that once held everything now reduced to a house that means nothing. You weren't scared anymore. 

_"You need me"_ Hinata has said that to you. You sigh. Every time he left, he inadvertently taught you how to live without him. You weren't going to delay this anymore. You took off the ring from your middle finger albeit you had a little struggle with how it clung to your finger, you still successfully took it off. You placed it on the nightstand and with a sad smile turned away. The bags that contained your clothes and small trinkets already at the doorway. You put on your shoes and without looking back, you open the door to leave. 

_You'll send him the papers through the mail._

* * *

_**" i'm not afraid anymore** _

_**what makes you sure you're all I need?** _

_**forget about it** _

_**and when you walk out the door and leave me torn** _

_**you're teaching me to live without it"** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short one :)


	12. love songs. yamaguchi tadashi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> reader is bad to tadashi baby :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not timed with the song cuz the song is too fast

[love songs by kaash paige lyrics](https://youtu.be/_BMddPiI8nA)

**[love songs by kaash paige spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/6qL5UWxRSQYml9O99ozoLv?si=v_Xup4SPSX6VddgCyBSTgQ) **

* * *

**_" i miss my cocoa butter kisses, hope you smile when you listen_ **

**_ain't no competition, just competin' for attention_ **

**_and you like, "i'm not on no games"_ **

* * *

December 25, Wednesday.

"Hey, babe, I'm leaving." You wore a coat, over a [backless black dress](https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/94364554679873958/). Your lips shimmer with red lipstick. Tadashi flushes, _you looked really pretty._ With a dazed look, he nods as he stares at your beauty while you left. He buries his face in his hands, _you've been dating for four years now he shouldn't be so flustered anymore._ He pouts. He wishes you'd stay with him. It was Christmas after all but he understands you want to have fun with your friends, it was understandable. He heads to the kitchen, he misses you though, he misses your kisses, your hugs, and your relentless teasing. You and he haven't been talking that much even if you lived in the same apartment but you still hug him every now and then. He blushes as he remembers the last time you hugged him, a month ago, November 24, during your anniversary. He was especially mad at you since you stood him up. He waited for four hours for you but you never came. You peppered him with kisses and gave him hugs the next day, it made his heart soar. He was on the verge of breaking up with you but you said sorry and gave him loads of hugs, so _it was okay._ He wasn't mad at you anymore although it made him want to throw tantrums if it meant you paying attention to him, Tadashi isn't childish though and he can't do it even if he wanted to.

* * *

_**" well, baby, i been peepin', and you ain't been the same** _

_**like, who been on your mind? who got your time?** _

_**who you been vibin' with and why I can't make you mine? "** _

* * *

December 31, Tuesday

You were in the shower and your phone's screen came to life as message notification come in. It was an entire coincidence that your phone was beside Tadashi and usually he knows better than to go through your phone, after all, you get extremely mad when he expresses an interest in your messages but the familiar name gets the better of him. 

From: — — (1)

' (Name)-san. I will arrive at the airport today. I know it's a day earlier than I told you but she noticed and I end up telling her. '

From: — — (2)

' I'll just meet you at home during the weekends. '

From: — — (3)

' Please make sure you're careful with Yamaguchi-san when you tell him. ' 

Tadashi purses his lips. At first, he was surprised by the familiarity of the name but now he's confused. Why would you need to meet him at the weekends? _Why at home?_ Why did you have to be careful with him? What was "she" noticing? His head was spinning, he has so many questions, he wants answ—

" _Tadashi! What are you doing with my phone!?_ "

* * *

**_" you used to be texting me, checking me, calling me your slime_ **

**_and now you treat me like my worth less a dime "_ **

* * *

December 31, Tuesday.

After hours of screaming and getting mad, you finally calmed down. You now lay beside him, back facing him, he wants to reach out to you but couldn't. Tadashi felt guilty, it was his fault after all. It was his mistake to peep through your phone without your permission. Tadashi sighs, _he was obviously in the wrong._ He regrets going through your phone, it wasn't worth whatever he saw there. He wishes you'd forgive him. 

* * *

**_" and if we paint a perfect picture, we can make it last forever_ **

**_and you the only one i want to wear my orange sweater_ **

_**i told you and i'm down for the worse or the better "** _

* * *

January 1, Wednesday.

He had the most beautiful dream, you with a band on your middle finger, kids running 'round the house. A picture-perfect dream. Maybe this was God's way of telling him your future him with you. It was morning, a new year. He'll say sorry for yesterday, he won't question the messages. He'll believe everything and anything you say. Tadashi felt his spirits lifting. Tadashi heads to the kitchen, he'll make you breakfast. He knows this year will be good. He feels it in his bones. He turns the radio and the sweet gentle hum of a beautiful love song played. He glances to make sure you're still sleeping while he hums the sweet tune.

_He's so in love._

* * *

**_" you got me singing love songs (love songs, love songs)_ **

**_you got me singing love songs (love songs, love songs)_ **

**_you got me singing love songs (love songs, love songs)_ **

**_you got me singing love songs (love songs, love songs) "_ **

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHAH guess who sent the text *CUE EVIL LAUGHTER*


	13. the weekend. akaashi keiji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> akaashi being bad boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not timed. this be kinda tiny bit sexual tho so warning. (but not that much? like literally for a few sentences only) BTW i am super super disappointed no one tried to guess who, i mean sure it was kind of obvious but stiiillll nah jk its ok lolol

[the weekend by sza lyrics](https://youtu.be/IVO0lQsqdxA)

**[the weekend by sza spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/6gU9OKjOE7ghfEd55oRO57?si=5XFU1UQpTWaD2yq9jO8w8w) **

* * *

**September 21, Saturday.**

You met him at the bar. It was a coincidence, you were there to drink, your current relationship was in a boring standstill. Your relationship was almost like a chore, _same shit different day._ You remember the times you used to be a wide-eyed girl nervously confessing to your boyfriend. You down the whiskey in one gulp.

"(Name)-san?" Your drag your eyes from the drink in front of you to the man looking at you. Your eyes widen in surprise, "Akaashi-senpai?".

He chuckles at you, "(Name)-san, don't call me that. I'm not your senpai anymore" He orders his own drink. You tilt your head, Akaashi-senpai wasn't the type to hang around these types of places. At least you think he wasn't. You voice out your question.

"Well, I can say that to you, too. And call me Keiji, please." He suddenly quiets down, his eyes going in and out of focus. You call out his name. He apologizes and clears his throat, "Ugh-. You probably don't know but I'm in a relationship" You congratulate him, he shakes his head. "It's not as-." He looks uncertain. Akaashi debates telling you but your tilted head and wide eyes were silently prodding him. Your lips in a slight pout. _You look really pretty tonight,_ Akashi thinks to himself. He slightly chokes on his alcohol as he realizes his thoughts, _what was he thinking? he was taken._ Your hands gently pat his back, concerned eyes peering at him and Akaashi's chest uncomfortably tightens. 

"What is it, Akaashi-senpai?" He tells you off one more time about you using his name, you giggle. Akaashi doesn't remember you being this cheeky. A small smile graces your features looking at your Senpai's surprised state due to your change in attitude, you used to be very meek. Stuttering all over the place, tripping everywhere, and doing whatever was ordered of you. Akaashi notes it, "You changed a lot". You hum in agreement. "Hmm, Tadashi always gives me a confidence boost" He raises his eyebrows, " _Yamaguchi_ _Tadashi?_ You're dating Yamaguchi-san?" You nod. Akaashi found that shocking, he didn't know you went out with the past jump float server. He didn't even know you knew him, disappointment claw at his chest, he frowns. 

"Actually, it isn't going as good as I hoped" You sigh, Akaashi stares. You giggle once more, tucking your hair behind your ears, hoping that your little laugh can cover the numbness you felt towards your relationship but you felt no judging eyes from Akaashi, you continued. "I feel like every day is a repeat of yesterday. Nothing new, always the same. _I feel empty_ but at the same time I don't really feel like leaving him, I don't really have a reason to plus I've been dating him for four years, it'll be a waste to throw it all away. I just want _a little_ excitement, y 'know?"

"I understand. I feel the same towards my girlfriend" Akaashi replies, your eyes widen in shock. "I am not a reckless man but it's. It's-it's, _so—"_

_"_ Boring?" You continue his words in a short breath, _why does it feel so hot?_ Akaashi stares for a minute, "Yeah" He bites his lip as if he shouldn't have said what he just said but one look in your dilated pupil made his dilate in turn.

_you were desperate for just a little change of anything in your mundane life and it seems like he was too._

* * *

**_" you say you got a girl_ **

**_yeah, how you want me? how you want me when you got a girl?_ **

**_the feelin' is reckless, of knowin' it's selfish_ **

**_and knowin' i'm desperate "_ **

* * *

**September 21, Saturday.**

You shamelessly grind on his thigh, "Keiji, _fuck_ " you breathe out, his grip on your waist tightens until you know they'll leave bruises. Hot and sweaty. _You felt so good, can't you always feel like this?_ Akaashi roughly turns you over, your hair a mess, he takes a moment to unbutton his black dress shirt and you unbuckle the belt of his pants. Soon, it was your turn, you raise your arms and he easily takes off the slip dress you had on. 

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc —_ Akaashi enters you and you bury your hands in his hair. Akaashi whispers a small "fuck, you're so tight", it wasn't long 'till the room was filled with his grunts and your moans.

* * *

**September 22, Sunday.**

You slowly open your eyes. The room was not one you were familiar with but you knew why you were there. And with who. You never had the chance to check the room out last night since you couldn't keep your eyes off the male currently laying beside you. _He's really pretty,_ you think. His face is impeccable. Keiji's eyes snap open, you send him a lazy smile. His eyes soften and he extends his arm towards you. Soon, you were in his arms, cheek to his chest and his chin resting on your head. 

"What are we going to do now?" You ask him and he sighs. "Should we just forget about it? " He asks with his hesitation filled voice. "But I don't want to" you whine, "It felt s _o good_. Didn't it feel good _too_?

"It did but _—"_ Keiji begrudgingly lets out a sigh. "What are we supposed to do?" You sit up, escaping from his arms. You send him an inquisitive look, "Do you not want to? If you don't then fine." Keiji immediately shakes his head, "No. No, I want to to." Keiji adds almost breathless, "I want you". You raise your eyebrow, "But that girl?". 

"I-" Akaashi looks away, afraid of angering you. "I don't think I can't leave her yet, (Name)-san." You make him look at you. You show your best grin, "Good, 'cause I can't leave Tadashi yet either"

* * *

_**" hangin' out the back, all up in your lap** _

_**like is you comin' home? is you out with her?** _

_**i don't care, long as you're here by 10:30, no later than** _

_**drop them drawers, give me what i want "** _

* * *

**November 24, Sunday**

You look at the clock, it said '9:48'. You sigh. _Where was Keiji?_ You bit your lip, staring at your phone you argue with yourself, trying to make up your mind if you'll call him. You grab your phone, _whatever,_ you can make some bullshit excuse if his girlfriend picks it up. You call him and it rings for no more than two times before you hear his voice, "(Name)-san?" He sounds genuinely surprised. You quickly ask, "Where are you? I've been waiting for a few hours now" 

"Wha-what?" He pauses before he replies with an "Understood. I'll be there by ten-thirty" and hangs up. When the doorbell rings, you open the door with a frustrated look, "Where were you? Were you with that girl? _Look, I don't care_ but we said we'll be here during weekends." You gesture towards the apartment that you both rented, Keiji decided it was too expensive to always be in hotels during weekends. Akaashi sends you an apologetic look, "No I wasn't with her but I thought _you_ will be with Yamaguchi-san, seeing as it is your anniversary with him"

Your face is visibly perplexed, "Uh... _No?_ No way am I giving up the very few days I have with you over something so trivial as that." Akaashi raises his eyebrows, "I thought you don't want to break your relationship? Doing this will damage it."

"I just have to give him a kiss and say sorry and he'll forget about it" You shrug his Keiji's concern off. He chuckles, "Well, that's mean"

You shake your head, sending a pointed look towards him, "I don't see you complaining" A rare haughty smile appears in Keiji's face. You smirk, you drag Akaashi with his tie to the only room in your apartment beside the comfort room, _the bedroom._

* * *

**_" my man is my man, is your man, heard it's her man too"_ **

* * *

**December 15, Sunday.**

You were on the bed with Keiji, it was a lazy afternoon. Your legs placed on his lap, he strokes your thigh as he reads his book. While you listen to the soft tune of music coming out from your phone. It was a domestic scene, in a domestic setting too bad it wasn't. Keiji calls out to you and you hum to signal to him your attention.

"I want to spend Christmas with you" You raise your eyebrows, _well that's new. "_ I wanted us to have some time together before I spend it with her. I will be leaving on December 26 and probably come back on January"

You pout, " So, you won't be with me on the twenty-eight and twenty-nine?". Akaashi nods, "Sadly, yes." 

"Fine but Christmas isn't a weekend. What's your excuse?" 

"I told her that to be able to spend the rest of the week with her I had to at least work during Christmas"

You snicker, "nice excuse". Akaashi holds a small smile, "Yes, it is"

* * *

**_" tuesday and wednesday, thursday and friday_ **

**_i just keep him satisfied through the weekend "_ **

* * *

**December 21, Saturday.**

Akaashi huffs in frustration, "I don't know what to bring." He groans before continuing, "She's so troublesome. Why can't she just tell me where we're going? " You laugh at his expense and you tell him with a fake pout, "I'm the type of girlfriend to do that too~" Akaashi shrugs and blatantly tells you, "If it's you, I don't think I'll mind since you know what I like." You blush at his nonchalance, he should stop saying things like that, it's confusing you, making your heart skip a beat or two. _Tadashi,_ your head whispers, _what will you feel if Akaashi cheats on you with another girl? What if you were just one of the girls he bring home?_ _._ You shake your head to make it shut up, your eyes search for any new discussion matter, your eyes find the unopened packets left on the nightstand. 

" Bring your condoms ", you laugh, "You might be getting some of that, y 'know" but Akaashi chuckles at your sudden topic change until only a sad smile was present, " I haven't been doing it with her. Ever since we started, doing it with her doesn't feel as good." Your breathing hitches because _honestly,_ "Same"

Akaashi looks surprised, "You haven't been doing Tadashi?" You cringe at his word choice, "Well, that's surprising. I honestly thought you fucked him to make up from missing your anniversary with him." You laugh out loud, " _Hell, no."_

Akaashi scolds you, "Well, that's mean" you roll your eyes, this conversation seems like a repeat of last time. 

You sigh and roll your eyes _once more, "_ And, until now. I _really_ don't see you complaining."

* * *

**_" i gotta say i'm in the mood for a little bit more of that_ **

**_i mean, i'm sayin' what kind of tease is two days?_ **

**_i need me at least 'bout four of them, more of them_ **

**_more you on me, on us, just tell me you want me "_ **

* * *

**December 25, Wednesday**

It was chilly, you were walking with Keiji to a restaurant on the far side of Tokyo. You wore a black dress under your coat. Keiji really did work that day but he ended it earlier, around 4:00 rather than 11:00 like he said to his girlfriend. You wanted to eat out instead of being stuck in your apartment on a beautiful day like this, both of you made sure to choose a restaurant in a place that had no possibility of meeting friends or people that knew you. Entering the restaurant, you welcome the heat. Keiji helps you out of your coat. Your heart was beating loudly, and you pray that he wouldn't be able to hear it. The small action made your heart flutter more than it should and as if he was trying to kill you Keiji says, "You look beautiful tonight". Your knees felt weak. You send him a small smile of gratitude because you don't trust your mouth to even say 'Thank you'. You might end up saying some bullshit like 'I love you'.

A waiter brings you to your reserved table. You order side dishes like _nanohana no karashiae_ for Keiji and _chawanmushi_ for you. He ordered _tsukumen ramen_ and _gyoza_ which was the foods the restaurant was famous for. It was cold noodles with a hot dipping sauce. Usually, this wasn't the weather for this kind of food but you and Keiji were surprisingly craving for tsukumen. When the food arrived you started eating, the door opened and you heard other servers say, "Irasshaimase!" but you pay no heed and you continue eating until—

"Kuroo! STOP whining. You know, I let my girlfriend spend Christmas alone so I can accompany you!?" Another voice, "You _didn't_ let your girlfriend spend Christmas alone, she _left_ you to spend it with her parents" You don't really recognize them but in the way Keiji tenses up, you know this was an _uh-oh._

_"Wait!_ Isn't that Akaashi? AKAASHI!" Keiji tenses up and keeps his head down. You don't really know what's happening, so you just do the same. "HEY! AKAASHI! Don't ignore me, you bas- wait. Who's that?" You finally look up, curiosity getting the better of you. A white-haired owl-like man was pointing at you and beside him was a tall dark-haired person with a really weird hairstyle.

Keiji sighs, "What are you doing here?"

"I took Kuroo to distract him from his girl problems. It's Christmas he shouldn't be crying over a bitch but-" Keiji slightly shocked with the ace who rarely cursed. "How 'bout you? Why are you not with your girlfriend?" If your heart was beating loudly earlier due to pretty feelings you don't want to acknowledge. Now, it was beating loudly out of fear and anxiety. "It's nothing, Bokuto-san. I was supposed to work until eleven at night but I decided to leave early and bumped to (Name)-san, here. " When you heard his voice your heart immediately calmed, as if it _knew_ Keiji won't leave you in the dust. 

" _Eh?_ But don't you work like really far from here?" Keiji was formulating another excuse in his head but you decided you should be helpful and lend him your hand. You put on a small fake smile, "This was actually a reservation for my boyfriend and I but we had a bad fight. I went alone but bumped to Akaashi-senpai and invited him along." Bokuto asks another question, " _Senpai?_ " You really wish he'd shut up now and stop asking questions. You plaster a _really_ big and fake smile to your face, "Yes~ I used to work at his company but I moved" Bokuto who now seems satisfied to have answers nodded. You wish he'd go away now. Luckily, your savior came from the person you least expect it. The bedhead. He drags Bokuto away muttering about how he was hungry and to stop disturbing them. 

"Ugh. That was draining." Keiji agrees with you and you narrow your eyes. " _You_ have _no right_ to agree with me. You said we'll be alone here!? What the fuck was that?" 

He exhales exasperatedly for the nth time, "I'm sorry but they do not live or work anywhere near here. I did not think they will come." You glare at him. You choose to ignore his words and continue eating. Keiji apologizes once more and you continue to play deaf. Keiji regrets this but even if he took you to America for dinner there was still a possibility of those two coming, _They're dumb that way._

After ten minutes of uncomfortable silence, Keiji couldn't take it anymore he nudges your feet. You smirk, _two can play this game._

* * *

_**" monday and I'll be at your door, ready to take her place** _

_**ready to give you, what you've been missin' on weekdays** _

_**what you've been waitin' for, 10:30, no later than** _

_**drop them drawers, i know what you want "** _

* * *

**December 25, Wednesday.**

You call for the bill and as you hand him your share. He shakes his head, "This is a 'sorry' for not being able to be with you this weekend" You blush, you've been trying to hide it but you were disappointed he was going to spend a whole lot of time with his girlfriend. You send a small smile, "Thank you". Keiji and you head towards the door and he helps you put on your coat. As you were about to leave, someone calls Keiji's name. You turn to see the bedhead. 

"Yes, Kuroo-san?" Keiji answers as you scan to see where the owl boy was. He was still eating.

"Can I talk to you?" Bedhead glances at you "Alone?" You nod taking this as a cue to leave. You put on a show as you bow to Keiji, "Thank you for your advice, Akaashi-senpai. _I will head home now_ " Keiji's lips turning up just by a fraction by your performance, he nods as if to say goodbye but _you knew_ it meant he understands the underlying meaning of your words. Once you left the door, you call for a taxi straight away.

* * *

_Once you were gone, "Akaashi, do you think I'm stupid" was what Kuroo immediately asked. Akaashi was taken aback by the abruptness of the question._

_"I may be with Bokuto a lot but I'm not stupid" Akaasi stays quiet, "Look, I'm good at finding cheaters ever since I got together with some bitch"_

_Akaashi directs a polite smile towards Kuroo, "_ _I don't understand "_

_"Whatever and stop playing footsy under the table. It made me so sick, I couldn't eat"_

* * *

**_" my man is my man, is your man, heard it's her man too"_ **

* * *

**December 25, Wednesday.**

"Kuroo knows" 

You sigh. You and Keiji were drinking hot cocoa out in the very small balcony at home. Keiji looked divine in this light. "You think he'll tell on us?" 

"When I left, he texted me to get my shit straight. He's most probably threatening me." You lean on him, placing your head on your shoulder. "What are we going to do now?"

He places his mug down and wraps his arms around you, "I don't really want this to end"

You bury your head on his chest. Tears blurring your vision, "Me either". Your body shakes horribly, you fist his shirt. You silently beg him, repeating _don't leave,_ and _Keiji please_ in your head. Keiji grabs your shoulder and pulls back from you, his eyes searching yours. 

"Is that your answer, (Name)-san?" He asks, "How about him?"

"I. I-i I think I like you. I never left Tadashi because _you_ never gave me a reason to but-" You hesitate but Keiji prods you to continue, "if you tell me you'll leave her, I'll leave Yamaguchi too. I'd do anything to be with you. I-. _I love you_."

"Understood." Keiji nods. "We'll spend tomorrow until January three with them. Then we'll meet again on the weekends" Your jaw drops. _Where the fuck did he get that? Did he not hear what you just said? Is he deaf? Is this his way of rejecting you?_

Keiji shakes his head and shows you one of his breathtaking smiles, "I mean we'll spend this last week with them to say goodbye. Then we'll meet during the weekends. Then the weekday. Then every day after that. Because I love you, too." 

* * *

**_" tuesday and wednesday, thursday and friday_ **

**_i just keep him satisfied through the weekend_ **

**_you like 9 to 5, i'm the weekend_ **

**_make him lose his mind every weekend"_ **

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: HAHAHAHAHAH *CUE EVIL LAUGHTER PT. 2*
> 
> I HAD TO CUT IT SHORT WTF THIS WAS SO LONG. literally 3.3k words wtf hope you survived this one. i was going to cut it into two parts but like no ew. what was i gonna call the chapter? the weekend part two? so not nice. so this is obviously ties to the Yamaguchi one and also very loose ties to another "one shot" *cough * with kuroo *cough* major spoilers. (btw cheating is bad don't do that)


	14. see u never. kuroo tetsurou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> reader is a bitch ( iamsorry lololnot)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's an update I don't think that's good but i think it's cute.

[see u never by niki lyrics](https://youtu.be/hIHLVaXUt3s)

[see u never by niki spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/5nPdol1JZWJqG4OSHVzSCF?si=9U4ZGMOzTJCHiNWjaIatmw)

* * *

“ _Kuroo babe~”_ Your voice called out to him from outside the apartment door.

Kuroo’s nose scrunches and his lips pull down. He was gonna vomit. _Ew, your voice is so ugly please disappear._ He was fucking grossed out with your whole existence. He already had suspicions earlier this month when he came to early to your apartment to pick you up only to be smacked in the face with the smell of alcohol and really _really cheap_ men’s perfume, you waved it off saying you partied with your brother. You didn’t have a brother but he didn’t tell you that instead, he did some digging of his own. Just a few days ago, Bokuto "helped" him (but Kuroo suspected Bokuto was just bored and wanted something to do). They both went undercover and had this like really cool matching outfits that they both got for 1000 yen but they didn’t have enough money for the shades so they ended up bugging the owner ‘till they got a discount. 

When they finally got their outfits down, they investigated you a.k.a kinda stalking you, and throughout the week, it was mostly normal. Kuroo would tense up every time a guy would come to you to ask for your number but you would always flash them a large smile, say something to which Kuroo assumes you telling them you had a boyfriend if you showing your phone’s wallpaper of him were anything to go by. The more you rejected those boys who were asking for your number- _which never seem to end by the way where the fuck are all those boys coming from-_ the more Kuroo feels guilty for doubting you, he wanted to stop investigating (a.k.a stalking) but Bokuto was persistent and Kuroo _way too quickly_ agreed. Why? Well, the more you rejected those boys, the more his head grew seeing as you were showing his face to everyone he rejected and he felt proud and want to brag it to everyone. Friday came. It was the last time he’ll do this stalking thing with Bokuto but he wanted to see this one, you see Friday nights were reserved for you and your friends. You always partied during Friday nights and he used to be worried about it all the time but now, not anymore. He was confident you’d reject everyone and anyone who came your way. 

_I want to see their pathetic little stupid faces when they’re rejected,_ Kuroo thinks, _bWAGgagaHagjahahha (a/n: yes this me trying to replicate Kuroo’s laugh in text)_

And at the start of the party, it was all going well. You destroyed boys with your wallpaper of Kuroo _,_ it was him photoshopped as a bald person that you made to piss him off but when you started to drink you stopped showing his picture instead just shaking your head. The more you drink, the more you seem to forget you had a boyfriend. The next he sees you were flirting back, showing someone who was not Kuroo your beautiful, beautiful, charming smile. One thing led to another and the last thing he saw was you leaving with a guy who had his hands all over you.

He was just shocked. Can’t move. Can’t speak. Because _what?_ The fuck. Kuroo is a fucking hot bastard, he knows it. He’s smart too. A shit ton of girls likes him, some boys too. So he knows he’s like really fucking out there and here you were, fucking threw him away for _what?_ trash. Like literal trash. Not even good trash or like trash that’s been segregated and shit. No. You left with trash that’s so trashy he’s putting shame to all trash in the world. 

“ _Dude, why_ is she leaving with trash?” Kuroo asks Bokuto, confused. 

The latter looks at Kuroo just as confused, “ _Dude,_ I hate to be the one to break it up to you-” Bokuto takes a deep breath genuinely having a hard time continuing “-but she’s not leaving with trash, Kuroo, she’s leaving with another man and the man is kissing her, _bro._ It means she’s cheating on you”

Kuroo loves Bokuto but _man, do I really want to punch him till he can’t speak._ Kuroo’s face visibly darkened and Bokuto senses his intent to do unspeakable things he laughs nervously, he mutters about how he’ll get drinks to calm him down and Kuroo is left alone. He’s grateful to be left alone for a while. 

_Looks like he’s the one who ends up with a pathetic stupid looking face._

* * *

Kuroo after not drinking the drinks Bokuto bought, separated ways. He still thanked Bokuto, of course, for accompanying him but he had to talk to you now. He arrived at your apartment and the night was still cold, he rang your doorbell hundreds of times but no answer came. He tried looking into the little hole your door had but as expected he can’t see anything inside. He rested his forehead at your door. He was feeling extremely disappointed. At you. at himself. Was it because of him? Did he lack? Did he tease you too much? Was he ugly? Should he have acted more maturely? But he knew he gave you everything. He teased you but in the end, he treated you with an infinite amount of respect, gave you his attention undivided. Helped you when times get rough. Stayed with you when everyone left. Everything. He did everything. For you and for free. Never did he ever ask for repayment. He didn’t make you do things you didn’t want to, forced you, or pushed you. He showered you with his love and treated you with care. He loves you. He loved you.

“ _Tetsurou?”_ Your voice calls out to him, Kuroo continues to rest his forehead at the door. He breathes deeply. Once, twice, thrice and four times. He turns to you, he doesn’t look you in the eye. He, instead, focuses on the not one, not two but three hickeys splattered on your neck. His pupils shook, they said there was no reason to hit a woman but Kuroo was so tempted to say that this one was one of the reasons. He sighs, he won't actually hit you (he's an ass, not a douche) plus up until now, his whole world had revolved around you. He sighs again, still looking at your neck. Kuroo thinks you're sort of an idiot, he's been staring at your neck for a while now, you'd think by now you'd understand what he was getting at. 

"Are you an actual idio-You know what, nevermind. I saw you leave. With a guy. Nice hickeys by the way" _Now,_ you get it. Your eyes widen and your hands shoot to your neck to cover it. Kuroo walks past you. "I'm breaking up with you, you stupid fuck. Seeing as you fucking threw me, an eleven out of ten for actual garbage." He speeds walk away, wanting to have the last word 

Kuroo wants to go home now, hopefully, you won't chase after him but hopefully, you would. Maybe you'd chase him and say you were so drunk you thought it was Kuroo but you didn't chase him so, Kuroo came to the logical conclusion that you were blind. A literal blind bastard. He wants to maybe cry but crying over you made him feel stupid. And he wasn't the stupid one, you were.

* * *

So back to the present. **Now** , you were here _days_ after he found out you were cheating to ask for forgiveness. Whatever he hated you know. You were there for several hours now but this the moment where it ends. He just finished putting the last of your stuff from his apartment, he wants to burn it but he was nice and he won't do that to the shoes he bought for you. He takes a deep breath and opens his door.

" _Kuroo, omg you finally opened up_. I thought you would never but that's not the point. Kuroo. Kuroo, listen. I didn't cheat on you okay? I didn't. I was drunk, okay? It doesn't count as cheating" 

Kuroo puts the box down in front of you, "Yeah, whatever. See u never" He closes the door in your face and he won't ever open it again. Being stupid was the one thing he will never be. 

So, if he sees you with the trash you cheated on him the week after, he'll always pretend he didn't break down. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw i never understood the "there's no reason to hit a woman" like no offense there's about a hundred reasons why you should hit a man it's probably the same thing for a woman. BUT you never hit a woman the same way you're not supposed to hit a man. unless it's self-defense, you better hit them motherfuckers who try to pull bs on you. this is not edited btw.


	15. i don't love you. akaashi keiji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow akaashi u r a dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: This is a korean song that some people might not like. But i highly encourage you guys to at least watch the lyrics ver. the words of the song itself are already heart wrenching and cruel. So this is part 3 to "love songs" and "the weekend". 

[i don't love you by urban zakapa spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/7neOIVKDsLaUXV5y84jGuY?si=BU3jS2WBTe2WMUiAxU6yvg)

**[i don't love you by urban zakapa lyrics](https://youtu.be/W5fl451CWDY) **

* * *

Akaashi Keiji was tired. Yes, he just came from an adventure-themed park. No, that wasn't why he was tired. Looking across the table was you, who couldn't meet his eyes. He knew that you knew. You sensed it when he never uttered a single complaint ever since the 'vacation' started. He had let you do whatever you want. You sensed he was readying you for a goodbye. You sensed it but you ignored what your gut was telling you. You ignored what was right in front of your eyes. You ignored it because you thought if you deny it hard enough it won't be true. If you deny it hard enough, maybe he'd stay.

He opens then closes his mouth. You bite your lips, maybe it'll stop it from trembling. _It hurts._ Someone was stabbing you in your chest, twisting it, taking it out then repeating it. 

You don't believe in God but you pray to whatever deity is out there, to _never_ take Akaashi away from you. You reach for Akaashi's hand on the table, you reach for your lifeline.

* * *

"I love you," You say it for the first time. You were probably hoping he'd change his mind if he heard you say that.

Akaashi hangs his head. He looks at your hand grabbing him and frowns. He gently removes your hold on him. The silence was unbearable for you and awkward for him. He wishes this will end sooner.

"I don't" Your eyes widen and your jaw goes slack. "What do you mean, Keiji?"

"I don't love you, (name)" Akaashi clears his throat, "I was pretty sure you already knew"

How can a man be so callous? How can someone with the face of an angel hurt you this much? How can he be so cold? A tear falls before you could comprehend it. You couldn't breathe. The air around you felt like it was suffocating you. The silence was loud and the coldness of his words burns. 

"Why are you so cruel? Does it amuse you to see me crying?" You stand up and shout "Why!? WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ME? "

" _I just don't love you_. Seeing you cry doesn't make my heart ache. I don't love you, that's the reason. I'm not going to ask for your forgiveness nor do I want to say sorry."

You hear your heart breaking, the pieces shattering all over the floor. You'd step on those shards to get to him. You'll sacrifice anything _to stay. To be with him._ You whisper, your voice shaky. "What can I do to make you stay?" you'll beg, you'll plead. You'll do anything to make Akaashi Keiji stay. "What can I do to make you love me?"

"Nothing" His words that strangle you and you know you'll die by asphyxiating. "That's just how I feel. That's all. " 

Akaashi Keiji turns his back away from you,

then he walks away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: ok this wasn't good AT ALL its also super short sorry. i have writer's block and it's really frustrating so i just forced something out. this was so disappointing so I'm sorry. anways i made some small changes in see u never. didn't edit this too. that's it bye.


	16. how long. bokuto koutarou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i think i may have a serious problem. the amount of cheaters i have in this ff is astonishing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a short one. this one just a tiny bit sexual. curse words bla bla

**[how long by charlie puth spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/6wmAHw1szh5RCKSRjiXhPe?si=P5jJ8PKtSx-6hperKNztZg) **

* * *

You were a horrible person. Doing things that should make you feel bad. Toying with Bokuto should make you feel horrible but the pleasure you get from stringing him and other boys along was immense. It was exciting to see them want you so much, it made you laugh in fact. _They're so stupid, thinking they have a chance._ Their eyes that rake over your figure amuses you since looking is the most they'll ever do and right now, right in front of you was one of those boys. A boy whose face screams innocence. His hair falling over his eyes and big, _big_ eyes looking at you. You always did have weaknesses for boys who don't know any better, the ones that admire you thinking you were some sort of angel, think you were so much better than what you were.

_I want to eat you up,_ you think. Your lust must have shown on your face, seeing him turn beet red. The expression you were currently wearing can be considered lascivious but you could care less. _He wants it too anyway_. Your smile widens, you can have a little fun. _I'll only cheat on Bokuto once, I swear,_ you promise to yourself as you lead the younger boy to your apartment.

* * *

He walks backward until the back of his knees hit the bed. You push him down and spread his knees while you settle in between them. You unbuckle his belt and pull down his boxer, never once breaking your eye contact. 

* * *

You open the door, so he can leave. He turns toward you and bows. You laugh, "What the hell is that?" 

The boy scratches his head, "Ugh, a thank you?" You snort, this boy was something else, it'll be a shame to let him go. "Wait a moment"

You go back inside your apartment, looking for a ballpen. Rushing back to the boy when you found it, he still patiently waiting. You quickly write down your digits, "Here, call me when you have time~". The boy flushes, he stares down on his arm that had your number, wondering if this was real. "Th-THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE"

"Pffft-Service? What the fuck is that? What am I a dead soldier?" _He really is cute, "_ Now, go~ Don't tell anyone you were here. My boyfriend might see you." You slam the door before you could see his expression. Maybe you should have been more worried but you knew he wasn't going to snitch. You shrug, you gave him the best blowjob ever. _He won't snitch unless he's brain dead._

* * *

Turns out he was brain dead.

What you hoped was a nice meet-up in your boyfriend's apartment that will end up with you and him in his bedroom but instead of that, it was Bokuto, screaming your ear off for the last hour and you wish he would shut up.

"(NAME)! Are you even listening to me?" Bokuto huffs, "I mean what in the name of the lord were _you doing?_ Tell me it isn't true but- BUT FUCK. Urghrghah" Bokuto takes hold of your shoulders, "Tell me. Tell me it's not true. Tell me the truth"

You look Bokuto dead in the eyes and leer, "Tell you it's 'not true' or tell you the truth? Pick one." He lets go of you as if he was scorched, you can't help but roll your eyes at his theatrics. Bokuto takes a few steps backward before he collapses to the floor. He brings his knee to his chest and wraps his arm around himself, muttering "I should've known. You were acting so shady, I already felt it but I didn't think you would do it.Y'know you were so nice to me all the time, always listened to my stories. I-i thought you were an angel or something. Akaashi always told me I should stay away from you _but_ you were so nice _to me. You were so nice._ " Bokuto looks up at the ceiling, tears pooling in his eyes. "Were you just pretending all the time? Please tell me the truth. Please be honest with me, _how long has this been going on?"_

Guilt tugs at your heart, you were a player but you did still chose him to be your boyfriend. To a certain degree, you did hold feelings for him. You always did have a weakness for people who thought you were a good person. Maybe if you weren't so fucked up things could work between the two of you, " Look, baby. I'm sorry, _oka_ y? But believe me, this is the first time. Promise there were no feelings involved. Just you. _You're the only one I love_." 

Bokuto's face scrunched up and his hand goes up to a 'stop' motion, "Save your apologies, I don't need it. Leave. Just leave. _Please, just leave._ I want to be alone"

Your furrow your eyebrows and you scowl, you've never in your whole life said you loved someone, not even your family. _How could he just brush it off like that?_ _Shouldn't he feel extremely grateful I love him? ,_ " _I said I love you. Why are you being you so stupid?_ _It's not like I love that kid. I just fucked him. What's wrong with that? It's just fucking. No feelings or any bullshit like that. **So, why are you so upset?**_ "

You couldn't understand why he was so mad, _why?? why is he angry?_ You could've deliberated about it more but your thought process was interrupted by Bokuto's red face.

"Leave. **LEAVE. "** He grabbed your wrist and leading you to your door, you struggled against his hold trying to dig your heels to the floor to stop him but he was an athlete and dragging you towards the door was as easy as pie. He pushed you out the door and you stumbled a little bit, he threw your shoes towards you and you were barely able to dodge. Your jaw goes slack at the disbelief because _how dare he?_ You stomp towards the door again but Bokuto slams and lock the door in your face before you can say anything. "LET ME IN" You bang your fists at his door, kicking and screaming. 

After about 30 minutes, a neighbor that was passing looked at you weirdly and you decide this isn't worth it. You raised your middle finger to Bokuto's door, " _Whatever, it's your loss"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this isn't really good either ( i still have my writer's block tbh) but i wanted to try writing in a cheater's perspective. just a little experiment. what are your thots on this? any comments? things i could do better? (ALSO guess who she cheated on bokuto with)


	17. fuck feelings. oikawa tooru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> having a crush on a friend sucks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for all my readers who have a crush on their friends :( that must be real hard and difficult, i imagine most never even get to confess too scared to change a already stable friendship but i never crush on my friends so lol can't relate :P

**[fuck feelings by olivia o'brien spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/3HzcPKuTJyMmkWDgzswarl?si=-kA7iOC8Qcmqylt9DbAmKg) **

* * *

**"i don't wanna fall for you now**

**but it already happened, don't know how**

**now i gotta ghost on you**

**'cause i can't keep too close to you"**

* * *

A pair of brown eyes sweep over the cafe, heading to a table occupied by another man with spiked hair.

The owner of the brown eyes inquire "Where's (nickname)-chan?", he pouts and whines "Don't tell me she's late"

"She's not late, Shittykawa. She-"

"I know, I know" a boisterous laugh from the Oikawa, he combs his hand through his hair. "She went to the bathroom, didn't she? She probably touched up her makeup when she saw my beautiful face." He shakes his head and sighs "I know she couldn't handle my go-" A harsh slap lands on his lips.

"Could you shut up for a minute!? I swear the kid next to us just sent us a judgmental stare" 

"oUch, Iwa-chan, why are you so violent? This is probably why yo-" 

"If you finish that sentence" Iwaizumi trails off and raises his closed fists. Oikawa's eyes widen, "Okay, okay. Sheesh you're so lame" his hands up in a 'surrender' sign, "So where is (nickname)-chan?" 

"She didn't come. She said her mother didn't allow her"

Silence.

" _hUHH?_ " Oikawa grits his teeth and his fists closed. "What?" Oikawa's rage boiled over, "The hell does she mean _her mother?_ That dumb fuck's mother is already dead. For fifteen years now! What kind of bullshit excuse is that!?" Oikawa hastily stands up, "I'm going to her. This is the fifth time she stood us up. I already don't see her in school, she's avoiding me."

Iwaizumi, who's rushing to catch up with Oikawa who's already heading towards the exit, catches Oikawa's wrist, " Maybe we should just give her space?" 

" _Space?_ What do you mean space? She's ignoring us! Don't you want to know why she's acting as if we aren't her friends?" Oikawa harshly looks back at Iwaizumi. "Don't you want to know?" Iwaizumi averts his eyes, letting go of Oikawa's wrist

"Huh. I knew it. She told you why, didn't she?" Oikawa's brown eyes flashing with multiple emotions. Hurt, betrayal, _disappointment_. "It's always you. It's like she doesn't think of me as her friend. Why only you!?" He turns away from Iwaizumi. "Whatever, I don't care. I'll found out from (name) myself"

Iwaizumi just stares at Oikawa leaving the cafe, guilt filling him. _It's so hard to go between them. If only Shittykawa was a little less stupid, he'd know exactly why she doesn't think of him as her friend._

* * *

**"and i'm not trying to fall for you now"**

* * *

You paused cooking when you heard your phone ring. The song "Barbie Girl" filling your empty apartment, a giggle spill from your lips. _Gosh, this song never fails to make you smile._ You grab your phone off the counter and your eyebrows raise, " _Iwaizumi?"_. Shouldn't he be with-? You fumble with your phone. _Shit._ Tooru probably forced Hajime to call you. You calm yourself downas you swipe to answer the call. _Wait, what was your excuse again?_ You mutter a small 'fuck'

"You are right. 'Fuck' is the correct term for this situation" 

"I'M SORRY I'M SORRY SERIOU-" Hajime cuts you off "Trashykawa's coming to your house to demand answers on why you've been avoiding him. Tell him it's your fault and don't drag me into this anymore. K, that's it. bYE" 

A small beep indicating the call ended and your panic starting, "OHMIgOSH HAJIII COME BACK NOOO-" You curse yourself in your mind. You were dead. You were already six feet under. Your panic was suffocating you, you fall to the floor. You look up to the ceiling to maybe find answers, maybe you could find an excuse. Your eyes slowly drifted to your pot that was boiling with instant ramen. You sigh and stood up, heading towards your food. _If I'm gonna die might as well die with a full stomach._

* * *

**"i know we've been left us all alone**

**i've been losing all my self-control** "

* * *

While eating your pot of ramen. A brilliant idea just came to you. _What if you just bullshit your way out of this?_ I mean, just because he was angry and hurt doesn't mean you have to say the truth, right? Right! You could just lie. Of course, of course. A mangled sigh leaves your lips. You place your forehead on your table, you should've just said no when he asked to be friends. _I mean who the fuck asks their ex to still be their friends_. 

* * *

**"now i gotta runaway before i say what you won't say**

**'cause i can't handle you and me alone"**

* * *

_"You know I love you" You choke on your milkshake cause wHATAATATTTT. You beat your chest repeatedly with your fist. The waitress sending you concerned glances. You hunched over the table, as you struggle to regain composure._

_"Excuse me? Are you saying this as some sick joke?" Neat eyebrows furrowed, "No. I'm serious but I'm not sure if I love you as a girlfriend. Maybe just a friend but what I do know is that I don't want you to leave me. You understand that I love volleyball and it's going to always be the thing that I put first. You don't demand my attention, you don't pester me. You even watch my games and look like you're interested. That's why I'm surprised you're breaking up with me. I never saw any warning signs that could indicate that you were disappointed with our relationship"_

_You let a small smile form on your lips as your eyes soften. This was something new. But it wasn't true. You knew Oikawa didn't love you. Oikawa, your boyfriend, who never made a move to call you out when you didn't talk to him for a few months. Oikawa who never asked how your day went. Oikawa who doesn't know what you like, dislike, or what makes you smile. This Oikawa will never be someone you can fall in love with._

_Although, you knew what Oikawa felt. Contentment. He was content because he could have a girlfriend when he felt like it and can ignore it if he didn't want to. Someone who wouldn't bug him for dates, someone who'd never demand **more**. Your small smile turned bitter. _

_Oikawa was sorely mistaken if he thought you didn't want more from him. You may not love him but you did like him, you wouldn't be his girlfriend if you didn't. You were just scared. Scared he'd think you were annoying, irritating. You were scared to demand only to be ignored. You were scared to ask when you knew you weren't worth anything to him._

_"You don't love me" You shake your head, " I don't want to waste my time anymore playing pretend with you"_

_"But I want you to stay" Oikawa grabs your hand " Even if we're just friends, stay by my side. I want to be friends" Your eyes flicker with surprise. This was the first time you saw him being so earnest. Fourteen months. That was the span of your relationship with him. Fourteen months, that's how long it took you to see even a glimpse of his guileless self._

_"Fine" You'd play friends with him. If he gets tired then it's great for you and if he truly wants to be friends, you'd be alright with that too. His eyes brighten and you feel regret sinking in as if something were to go wrong. You dismiss it, nothing Oikawa can do will shake you anymore._

* * *

**"i can't just let go, no, it's not like that**

**i know if i see you, oh, i'm right back"**

* * *

Your doorbell rings on repeat. Whoever was on the other side he certainly he had something urgent to say and you want to say that you knew who was on the other side but in truth, you didn't. This person was someone you don't know, someone who is so different from what he was. This Tooru who gets angry when you avoid him. Tooru who seeks you out. Tooru who listens. Tooru who knew what you like, dislike, and what made you smile. This Tooru was someone you fell in love with.

You almost wish he never changed. You almost wish he was just Oikawa to you. Not Tooru. 

But what can you do? You wish you were something more while wishing he was something less. Why was it so difficult to fall in love? Why can't everything just work out perfectly? Why does it have to be so complicated? Why can't you just say shit you've always wanted to say? Why was it so hard to speak? To say anything?

"(name). I know you're there. Open it." A knock "Please?"

You don't want to but your hand is already turning the knob. You just can't turn him away, can you?

* * *

**"fuck feelings, swear that shit ruined my life**

**all they ever do is waste my time"**

* * *

Oikawa's lips part in surprise. There you are. His breath was knocked out of him. Maybe he shouldn't have come. He didn't wanna see you cry, he should've believed your bullshit excuse. Coming here was a waste of time, he shouldn't have let his disappointment and hurt cloud his judgment. He should pretend like he was oblivious to you keeping your distance from him. 

He should have but he wouldn't. Not this time.

_"Why?"_

* * *

**"fuck feelings, swear that shit ruined my life**

**no, they never do me right"**

* * *

Why?"

_because I love you_

" Your fangirls are giving me trouble. I don't want to be seen with you"

"That's it?"

_no, it's not it. i want so say so many things but i end up choking. i want to scream my feeling out loud, i want to get this weight off my chest, and just when i open my mouth, i close it again. the words get stuck on my throat, it won't come out. why? why does it get stuck? i want to tell you. i want to say everything but it's so hard. why is it so hard?_

"Yeah"

* * *

**"fuck feelings, swear that shit ruined my life**

**no, they never do me right"**

* * *

Oikawa sighs, relief flooding him. He chuckles, "You could have just told me. It's not like this is the first time this happened. I'll just give them a warning, okay? You don't have to be scared. I'll protect you" Oikawa reaches for your arm, he wraps your arms around his waist and envelops you. 

Oikawa looks down and asks,

"Hey we're friends, right?"

* * *

**"i don't wanna watch you turn me down**

**so i'm just gonna turn back and go now "**

* * *

"Hey we're friends, right?" Sincere chocolate brown eyes staring at you, your lips part in surprise. Sincere was something you never thought you'd use to describe Oikawa Tooru. Your lips curl to a bitter smile, how come he didn't act like this when you were still together? Why did he act this way now that you could never be _more_ to him? He's unfair. You could say no. You could tell him your love for him. You could confess. You could be _more_ to him. You could-

but you couldn't.

* * *

**"fuck feelings, fuck feelings, fuck feelings, fuck what I'm feeling"**

* * *

"Yeah, we're friends"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i dont do regular updates but im real happy with the 5 bookmarks and 50 smthn kudos i got,, like i was shooketh when i saw that. i mean there are so many haikyu fics in ao3 i thought it would've been impossible for ppl to even see this


	18. i like u. ushijima wakatoshi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ushijima being mean >:(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: OMG TYSM <3 for the comments, it really made me super happy lol. Now I finally understand why other authors always say comments make them really happy hehe

[i like u by niki spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/6f7BE3VcZScJx6n3wsf5Z3?si=hepFRReIRVSoAJcZRPyj2A)

[i like u by lyric video ver](https://youtu.be/jrkniOgiBoM)

* * *

_**"i don't know what to say to you** _

_**there's nothing i can do to reset your point of view"** _

* * *

"I don't understand. I explained our relationship explicitly" Ushijima's brows knitting together, "No feelings. Just sex." Ushijima looks down, scrunching his eyebrows further, faint wrinkles showing. He was most probably thinking, what part of that you did not understand. "You said you will _never_ have feelings for me but now, you are saying you have feelings for me. So, I am confused because you said you will never have feelings for me"

Under normal circumstances, you would have laughed at his idiocy but you couldn't even bring yourself to smile. Ushijima and you were just doing the normal routine but in the middle of it, your moronic mouth accidentally said the 'L' word out loud. It made Ushijima flinch and immediately back away from you. You tried telling him that it wasn't true, that it was just the heat of the moment making you say things you don't mean but he wouldn't move from the topic. _Stupid, stupid Toshi. Just let it go pretend you didn't hear it._ So, here you were blanket wrapped around your naked body sitting on the edge of the bed, back facing him. Looking at the table, clock, carpet, lights, anywhere but _him._ Your hands grasping for reasons, _excuses_ you can tell him. 

"I- I lied. " A heavy silence.

Then a shuffling of clothes. You _finally_ look at him, scrambling for clothes, rushing to get out.Out, out, out, away from your burdensome feelings, _away from you_.

"No. Toshi, don't go." You grab him by the wrist. Tears threatening to spill but you push it down, _d_ _on't lose your composure (name),_ "Just because I like you-" you downplay your feelings as if you don't love him, won't do everything for him "- doesn't have to mean anything. I just like you that's it. Doesn't mean I want a relationship"

"You said 'love'. Not like. Love suggests an intense feeling of deep affection, I dislike participating in anything that might involve 'love' in a romantic aspect" 

_Why don't you just let it go? Why do you have to read into it?_

"Just-yeah. It's whatever, Toshi, don't think too much into it."

You see Ushijima contemplating, "I am still leaving though, but yes,-" a nod indicating his decision to let this go "-I will take your word for this, I hope you are not lying this time. Sleeping with you relieves me from stress and I like laying with you compared to the other women I've been with." He puts his shoes on heading towards the exit.

A hand on the doorknob.

" Do not expect anything from me. You should also stop calling me Toshi, nicknames indicate an intimate relationship and we do not have anything like that."

_Ouch._

* * *

_**"we both said this was just physical** _

_**well, one of us lied, can't set feelings aside, truth be told, yeah"** _

* * *

You look at the hickeys on your neck in the mirror, you bring your fingers up, tracing the marks he left you. You like to imagine, the marks were a sign of him reciprocating your feelings for him. _Imagining_. You were always doing that and you'd say it was a problem but it isn't hurting anyone, right? Hurting yourself, _maybe_ but that's a price you'd pay to be just a little happier at the moment.

* * *

_**"you asked to see me once again at half-past ten** _

_**i got nervous, so i got faded, made things complicated"** _

* * *

A week. That was how long you were M.I.A, ditching your job as Schweiden Adlers' manager for a break. 

_A break from him._

Away.

_away from him._

Pathetic. That's what you are. Pathetic for ending up as one of those girls whose world revolves around a boy. _Never. Never again._

* * *

_**"i'm sorry for the stupid sh- i said"** _

* * *

"I'm sorry!" You bow deeply to the coach and the members of Schweiden Adlers, " I am sorry for brushing off my managerial duties. I will not do it again" You stare at the floor, shame swirling, your reputation as a perfect manager taking a hit. You feel hands on your shoulder bringing you up. Suzaku, Schweiden Adlers' coach, questions you, "Why were you gone? We were so worried about you. No one was able to contact you, don't do that again for our sake" concern leaking from every word he says.

You hold a small smile for him, "Something very dear to me just died recently. I hope you understand". Suzaku's brows shoot up, "Oh dear, you should have told us you were going through that. We would have given you more time if you wanted." 

"No, it's alright. A week is more than enough for me"

* * *

_**"you ordered fun"** _

* * *

"(Surname)." Ushijima's eyes were staring at you, _were they always this nice? ,_ his hand casually on your shoulder "My condolences for whoever died."

_It's us. The idea of us that I held close to me, that will never come true._

"I think it's best to put a pause in our-" Ushijima pauses, trying to find a word that could describe whatever you two have. _Had._ "-business-" you scoff, incredulous. _Business? What were you? A prostitute?_ "-it will be cruel of me to request your company you are grieving and heartbroken"

"Heartbroken?" 

"Yes. You said you love me but I don't so it is only safe to assume you are heartbroken"

_oh. so he wanted to drive his point home._

Your hands close, making a fist.

_Fuck it._

* * *

**_"i served you threads"_ **

* * *

"I love you"

You could hear your voice, shaking. You might as well say it. You had nothing to lose. 

"Toshi, I love you." You smile despite the tears falling down your face, tears you held back until the dam broke. "I think I'll never love anyone as much as I loved you" You stare at the details of his face as he looks to the side. You almost feel proud of yourself, _at least_ , you fell in love with a genuine person. A man who wears his heart on his sleeve. A man whose face displays his honest feelings with no filter. A man who wants out. 

_Out from you._

Maybe in another universe, he'd look back straight at you. Maybe in another world, you'd hear a reply. Maybe in another time, he'd say those words back to you.

* * *

_**"it's probably good you left 'cause i finally admit"** _

* * *

But for now, you'd learn to be content with him turning and walking away from you

* * *

_**"i like you, i like you, i like you** _

_**words i won't ever hear from you"** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: i was going to make a shirabu ff with the song teacher's pet but i just couldn't write it. like i don't know how to start it and stuff it feels weird writing about a relationship like that. its weird. so i ended up writing an ushijima one but the song i was originally going to use was aphrodite by rini but i changed it i might use the song for later tho. btw is there anyone in haikyu want to see a ff of? 


	19. love the way you lie. semi eita

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> very very bad relationships >:(

[love the way you lie by eminem lyrics](https://youtu.be/e2BNiR5GtcQ)

[love the way you lie by eminem spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/15JINEqzVMv3SvJTAXAKED?si=mx2ypnNZTgSfGQkwvxDDTA)

* * *

The sound of bicycle chimes, and the fluttering of coats. People rushing to get from point A to point B. In the middle of the vast ocean of people, you take your time. Your blue umbrella, striking, against white and black ones. A step after one another, each filled with sincerity and hope. The _pit-pat_ of the rain falling on your umbrella, you'd be lying if you said this morning isn't melancholy. You like to think you were a morning person, you like waking up with the sun's warmth but today was an exception. Waking up feeling apprehensive about events you don't know about. You shake it off, thinking too much is a disease in its own right. Overthinking has never gotten you anywhere. 

The winds became even harsher as if warning you to stay away, the rain's gentle _pit-pat_ has now turned to bullets hitting your umbrella. Your destination was several meters away from you, a small restaurant that radiates hearth and comfort, people were bumping your shoulder running with urgent haste. The ends of your long skirt were slowly getting wet yet you continue to walk slowly at a steady pace. You don't like rushing or running. You like steadiness, taking things slowly. The bell chime when you opened the restaurant's door signed your entry.

You take in a deep breath, _it smells of warmth_ , the anxiety you were trying to push down dissolving into nothingness as the restaurant's heat takes over. The murmur of conversations and subdued laughs from a group of friends filling your ears. Lovers bickering and taking each other's food. An old married couple leaning on each other while sipping their hot beverages. You sat down, ordering food, and smiling at the waiter who you became friends with due to your repeated visits. You talk about the gloomy morning, work, and studies. You enjoy this, the majority of everyone on earth doesn't like small talk but you do. You don't like to think of it as small talk instead you like to think of as updating yourself with how everything is going on for everyone else. You drag your eyes around the place memorizing details and objects already engraved in your brain. The big sofa and couches, unfitting for a ramen bar. The patterned rugs and the fireplace at the corner. When you first saw it, you were astonished at how unlike it was at the other ramen bars you've been to. It was cozy and homey. It's probably why they decided to call it "家"1, the thought made you smile. You never had a home but this restaurant and the feeling were probably the closest things to it.

Your bowl of ramen was placed in front of you, you hear the chime of a bell but you don't acknowledge it. You hear a rustling of a coat, the chair's metal legs scraping the floor. You wince at the ugly sound. A disturbance. You look at the man in the corner of your eye. Ash-blonde hair with dark tips, black eyebrows that contrast his light hair. 

_He's bright,_ is what you think. The black clothes he had on suggests otherwise but that won't convince you. You direct your eyes back to your food. His gravitational pull was daring you to come closer but you held on. You like bright things like the sun, shiny rocks, and stars. You like bright things like him except all the aforementioned bright things were never precarious. They don't look _breakable._ They are all sturdy. So, you continue eating as if you didn't spend a couple of minutes thinking about him. You were strong and sturdy. You don't break easy. You weren't weak. 

Tap on your shoulder and you're looking back at brown eyes. _Too vivid._ "Excuse me, but could you recommend me something on the menu?", he asks. Not a hint of a sheepish smile or a grin. Just lips turned down. You wonder why he won't just ask the waiter, but you wave that off. The possibility of him wanting a customer's opinion is credible. 

"Shoyu Ramen"

He raises an eyebrow as he looks at your bowl, "But you're eating tonkotsu ramen" 

"The weather called for it. It's hearty and I was feeling down"

"Well then, shoyu ramen it is" 

He doesn't return to his own table instead of plopping down on the table next to you. It was your turn to raise your eyebrows, your resolve to avoid him unshakeable but only if he didn't continue to talk to you. He looks at your raised eyebrow and shrugs. You look back down on your food, you hear him talk to the waiter about his order. You ignore his stare, you want this interaction to end yet you won't rush. You won't shove your food down your throat. You eat slowly, savoring each bite. His order arrives, hear a small "itadakimasu" making you remember that you forgot to pray before your food. You stop eating, debating if you should pray now that you did remember. You let the warm soup fill your mouth, _you'd pray later._ The slices of pork chashu on your bowl remain uneaten. You never really like eating them, you'd usually place it in your friend's bowl. Noodles, and soup enough to satisfy you. Half of your bowl of ramen was already gone, to change up the taste you added chili oil and crushed garlic. The change of taste took your mind off the man beside you. Your eyes close as you sigh in content and-

"You're not feeling down anymore?"

Your eyes shoot open and dart to the man. He catches your surprised look and throws no smile, _I wonder_ _how he looks like with a smile he'd look nice,_ "Sorry, you said you were feeling down earlier. Are you better now?"

You like to think you were feeling better. You show him a smile, "Mhmm, feeling much much better now" 

He hasn't replied and you were starting to feel awkward, your smile now looking forced. His eyes snap to you, "Sorry. Again. You got a nice smile. Pretty and bright" 

You sit straighter, "What?" _Bright._ That word was never used to describe you. Sincere, steady, sturdy, strong, those were the words used to describe you. Not the lie he just said. You like bright things, not _being_ bright. 

"I-", you wonder what else he might say, "-Can I have your number?"

* * *

_**"i can't tell you what it really is** _

_**i can only tell you what it feels like** _

_**and right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe"** _

* * *

"You're looking very pretty these days, it must be the glow of a relationship"

"You snagged yourself a good one. I approve. Very handsome"

" _Woowowie,_ you look so gorgeous. You got a glow on you nowadays, so very pretty. Must be your fiancee" 

You recall, the congratulations that pass your ear and exits the other. You were lying down on your bed, wearing nothing but a big white shirt your boyfriend left the last time he slept over. The date you had today was amazing. The roses he gave you now sitting on a vase on your dinner table. Everything's been going great yet you can't help but think it will all end soon. You sigh full of tiredness. On your first date, first kiss, confessions, the first night, the anxiety at the back of your mind never left. Every time you were with him, it never seemed _right_ but you pushed it down because even if you can't sleep at night worrying, the thrill and excitement never leave you. You feel the highest of the highs. Slow dancing in the living room, midnight getaways, songs, and goodnights. When he kisses your forehead and confesses the love that he holds for you. Those were enough to keep your fears at bay. 

You stare at the white gold ring that was sitting on your bedstand. The same ring you immediately threw away the moment you were left alone in your apartment. The same ring you panicked trying to find. The ring that made fear and desperation wash over your body. 

_You were eating your shoyu ramen when suddenly a black velvet box was slid across the table towards you. Your whole being froze, it took a few minutes for you to even function properly again. Your hands were shaking as you open it. Your eyes snapped towards him. Eita flinches, he acts nonchalant but the bouncing of his knees and the fiddling of his finger was a dead giveaway, he shrugs. "If you want"_

_"Don't you want to?" **You don't want to**. **Not really.**_

_You swallow down your fear. You nod, you don't trust yourself with words._

_His shoulder sags down, relaxing. "Great, great. You don't really look happy though. Was it bad timing?"_

_You shake your head, furiously. "No-" your voice cracks, "No. It's good. Ugh. But we're just getting engaged right? We aren't getting married yet, right?"_

_"Yeah, that's what you're worried about?" He shakes his head, incredulous. "We'd get married sometime later when we're both comfortable, financially." And that was it, end of topic. He continued eating his bowl of ramen as if he didn't leave your mind in a frenzy._

The continuous _ba-thump ba-thump ba-thump_ as you recall your dinner a few hours ago. Somewhere, in the back of your mind was whispering, waiting for something to go wrong. Your throat seems to close on you. You gasp, taking a mouthful of air yet it isn't enough. Your heart was beating even faster. Your eyes blur with tears. _You don't want this._ You grasp at your sheets and your back arches off as the loss of air makes you desperate. The pain that was in your chest was tight and suffocating. 

_Breathe,_ you tell yourself, _**why can't you breathe?**_

* * *

_**"as long as the wrong feels right, it's like I'm in flight** _

_**high off of love drunk from my hate"** _

* * *

Frustration grows in Semi Eita. He furrows his eyebrows, she wasn't reacting the way he wants. Instead of happy, fear. Instead of excitement, dread. He throws the vase in his apartment on the wall. The loud crash of a million pieces of glass falling down the floor. Her reaction was the wrong chord in Eita's perfect orchestra. Did he do something wrong? Of course, he didn't. Eita was anything but wrong. It was probably her. Sometimes, Eita just wants to bash her pretty face in. _I mean, she's just so fucking clueless._ In one moment, the bitch is all over him the next she's acting like a kicked puppy. Eita questions, why can't she just act the way he wants her to? If she did his life will be so much easier. 

Eita sighs haggardly, he should stop thinking this way. But he just can't help it, he loves her so much it's suffocating him. His love for her was like shackles that prevent him from any rational thought. _"W_ _as this how love felt like?",_ Eita thinks, he quite like this feeling. He likes the addicting highs and deadly lows. He crouches down, picking up the broken shards of a purple stained glass vase. 

_He can't wait to see you tomorrow._

* * *

_**"it's like i'm huffing paint and i love her,** _

_**the more i suffer** _ _**i suffocate"** _

* * *

Rough, callous hands comb your hair. The light was hitting Eita's face just right, putting a sort of angelic glow on him. He was staring straight ahead watching the television with your head on his lap. This was one of those rare moments where warmth just filled your being. Looking back at the TV was a band playing, soft R&B filling your apartment.

"How's your band?"

The mood turns a 180, his hands in your hair suddenly made a fist. You wince, "Eita?" and as if the skies felt the darken atmosphere, the light on his face was gone. A chill runs up your spine, fear creeping up on your bones. You call out his name a few more times while you try to uncurl his clenched fists

"Eita stop it!" You were now hitting whatever part of his body you can reach. A slap to his face brings him back.

"Sorry, what happened?" Genuinely surprised eyes and a mouth forming an 'o' looking back at you. You almost had whiplash at the sudden changes of his attitude, you're not dumb enough to shake this off as nothing. Whatever that was, it was real and you knew this was what your subconscious was signaling you to run away from but strangely enough, the storm that was inside of you calmed down. _You felt calm._ This was it, the thing you were so anxious about. You could leave now before you go any deeper but you don't move. _It could be worse,_ you think.

* * *

_**" right before i'm about to drown** _

_**she resuscitates me, she fucking hates me"** _

* * *

"Sorry but I think you have to find another venue for your band, someone else will be using this space"

" _Excuse me!?_ We booked it first"

"Look, I can't do anything about it if you gonna complain about it. Talk to my boss, I just call people okay? Now that's settled, I have to go. Shit to do" A beep and Semi is baffled at this bastard's nonchalance, irritation grows. Eyes in a frenzy, Semi looks for something he could release his anger on. He looks at the phone on his hand and the edge of the table. 

**_BAM BAM BAM BAM_ **

The sound of Semi's phone hitting the table's sharp edge rings inside his apartment. 

* * *

"Eita? Hello~" You slowly remove your shoes on the doorstep, Semi's apartment unusually quiet. Normally, music fills the room. You look left and right, fear creeping up on you. _What if there was a robbery?_ You rush to the kitchen which was wrecked the most. Sprawled on the floor was Semi Eita. Cabinets open, knives laying dangerously on the floor and shards of broken glass from plates. You rush to Eita's side, "Baby? What happened" Your eyes glaze over his body looking for any sign of injury. 

No reply came from him. Just eerie silence. You forgo checking him for injuries to look him in the eye. His usual warm brown eyes darkened by the lighting, looking almost black. You repeat his name. Still, no answers except a hand placed on the nape of your neck as he pulls you down and meets his lips. 

Goosebumps run over your body, just a kiss was enough to make you melt as warm feelings engulf your being. His chapped lips over your plump ones. Your chest tightens in the most painfully beautiful ways and you feel intoxicated. _I love him,_ your mouth stills, _I love this._ His tongue runs over your lips and you moan. He moves in ways that make your toes curl. 

You swear to yourself that this was something you'll never give up on.

* * *

_**"it's so insane, 'cause when it's goin' good, it's goin' great**_ "

* * *

You breathe in the chilly nighttime air as your hair dances in the wind. You were sticking your head out of the car window, you giggle at both of your silliness. You were both adults, acting like teenagers in love, eloping. Eita turns up the volume of the music, you come back in to place your head on his shoulders instead. 

"Where we going?" 

Eita hums, "Somewhere".

The lights of street lamps and other car's headlights passing looks like wishing stars, so you wish to those lights that this will never end. The lullaby of Eita's deep breaths and the soft music serving as background music for both of you. 

The car slows down to a stop and you both exit. In front of you was a river reflecting the passing cars and skyscraper lights. It looked like the lake held stars in them. Eita takes off his jacket and places it on you. You put your arms through the white and soft fabric while he goes back to the car and gets something at the back of his trunk. A bouquet of flowers appears and it takes your breath away. You giggle as he hands it to you, his face, and turns red. You coo at him, first time seeing him so embarrassed. "I know it looks extremely messy, I just picked any flower that caught my eye. The florist looked at me weirdly when I grab these, probably because I looked like an idiot" You laugh even harder, shoulder shaking. Your eyes soften at the sight of Eita holding a bouquet of flowers, it was messy and with no coordination but he picked them _for you._

You point to one of the flowers, "These are [buckwheat flowers](https://pin.it/18gZbaN)they mean 'lover', these are [primroses](https://pin.it/10c9V4x)and they mean 'I can't live without you' and these are-" _your heart dropped_ but at the same time you kind of want to shove your middle finger to the world, _I mean the fuck? I have this rare beautiful romantic shit going on then you're gonna shove these ambiguous ass flowers in my face?_ Eita waves his hand in front of you, "Hello? You still there? You just stopped talking" 

You shake your head, "Nah, I now know why the florist was looking at you weirdly". Concern paints Eita's face, "What? Did I pick something that means death or cheating or some shit? I swear I'm not trying to tell you anything with these flowers, I just picked whatever was pretty."

You assure him, "It's alright, I know you're not smart enough to do some shit like that-" You see him clench his fist at your playful insult, "-Sorry, don't get mad. It was a dumb joke. But these one are called [Oleanders](https://pin.it/7hWTAKy) and they mean 'caution' while [Mock oranges](https://pin.it/5dmZSGS)mean 'deceit'" 

"Why do they have flowers with those types of meanings?" You shrug, "Don't know. Don't ask me"

Eita tugs the flowers, trying to take it off. Grabbing the bouquet, "HEY! Don't ruin it."

"What!? But those flowers don't mean shit. I'll take it off"

"NO! You picked these for me. You don't agree with the meanings anyway, right?"

"Yeah, I don't." Eita runs his hand through his hair. "Thank you" The corner of his lips quirks up, your gratitude warming his heart a tad. 

"Let's just get this over with. I know I said we weren't going married yet and that's true but also not. I know it isn't a nice ring but this was my grandmother's and grandfathers. This could be our actual wedding rings" He grabbed two simple [rings](https://pin.it/7BJV4UC)with flowers engraved on them from his back pocket. "I know your engagement ring doesn't have any fancy diamond and this doesn't have that too but-" His warm brown eyes firmly look at yours, "I hope my sincerity reaches you" 

Your lips part, _What was this feeling?_ You knew it was love. How to describe it? Saying it was a warmth encapsulating you, won't do it justice. It was more than chills and goosebumps. More than a fast heartbeat. You want to scream and thrash around, _how dare he make you feel this way?_ It was like drowning in the middle of the ocean with no escape. Trying to swim in water that burns your skin. Loving him was like breathing in ocean water, and as your lungs burn you can't help but want _more._ It was like trying to find an exit in an invisible prison. _Is it a prison if you don't want to escape?_

"We don't really have a pastor with us but this will have to do. I wrote down things we have to say. ", Eita was handing you a piece of paper. You blink as you snap out of your stupor.

You look at the text on the paper. _This is the Rite of Marriage._ So this is what this was for. You look at the white jacket you were wearing, _was this supposed to be the dress_. You giggle at the absurdity of it all.

"What? Do you think I'm joking? I'm dead serious."

"I know you're not joking. Just, this is a little weird. Usually, you'd tell the other person when you're getting married"

"It doesn't matter, you won't say no anyway"

You shoot him a bewildered look at his self-assurance but he only replied with a confident smirk."I'm pretty sure this isn't how marriages are supposed to go"

"Just do it!" Eita shooting you a glare.

You laugh once more, deciding to stop the teasing or you might ruin the mood. You clear your throat, "I (full name), take you Semi Eita to be my husband- Wait. You should be the one saying this!"

"Fuck!"Eita groans, "It didn't say shit on the website."

"You got this on google?" 

"Yeah, whatever. Fine, let's do this. I Semi Eita, take you (Full Name) to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times, in sickness, and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

"Do you take me, Semi Eita, as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

With no hesitation, "I do"

"So, that's all I wrote down. Are we supposed to do something after?"

"Maybe...kiss?"

"Yeah!-" Eita nods his head eagerly, he coughs and acts nonchalant"-I mean yeah, we should do that" His hand slowly reaches for the nape of your neck and pulls you towards him. Your lips meet his, a warm shivery feeling run through you, his rough lips against your soft ones was a contrast that you adore. You pull away, his brown eyes, and you feel full. Full of love for him, you thank God or whatever deity is out there for giving you this man. This amazing, beautiful man. 

"I love you"

"I love you, too. _So much"_

* * *

_**"i'm superman with the wind on his back, she's lois lane"** _

* * *

A daze falls upon the two of you. _Is this what they call the honeymoon phase?_ For a year or two, lazy mornings and passionate nights were what defined both of you but all good things come to an end. It all started going downhill in the form of your rent. You work as a kindergarten teacher, not really the highest-paying job. The reason why you had an apartment was solely due to the owner's debt to your parents and you lived there for half a decade but now, that you had a "husband" you decided it was time for you to move on. After all, the owner's debt was long since repaid. Your salary went fully to the rent but lately, you were also the one paying for groceries. The time to pay rent was nearing and you can't afford the monthly dues that came with it. Eita's been coming home late because of gigs with his band. He's also a civil servant but he's been neglecting his work due to his "dream" and you wouldn't mind supporting him but music won't feed you. You could only sigh, you wished he had a stable job before he did anything else. 

This was nothing you couldn't handle but that doesn't mean you were exasperated. You were going to talk to him about his "music". After all, if it's just this much then you could take it.

* * *

_**"but when it's bad, it's awful"** _

* * *

"Eita. We have to talk"

The past setter groans, "No. I know what you want to talk about but I don't want to. I'm tired, okay? Let's do this another time"

"No" Your eyes look at him firmly, "We're going to talk about it"

"Don't be a bitch. Fuck off for tonight"

Your heart drops. Your hand met his face and when you finally got a grip on your own anger, red was blooming on his cheeks.

* * *

_**"i feel so ashamed"** _

* * *

Rushing feelings and buzzing sounds. You scream and he screams back. You tell him he's worthless that he don't mean shit and he'll never mean shit. He tells you that you are nothing but an idiot, he says you are a retard that will never get anywhere in life. You tell him all his efforts will go to waste and he'll never make it. You tell him no one will even remember him or his band. You pushed him away and you see his lower back making contact with the edge of the table. Regret fills your being seeing him wince in pain but your eyes were blurring and you can only see the tears pooling your eyes. You wipe it away and you were just in time to see him raise his fist and-

* * *

**_"i snapped"_ **

* * *

_oh._

The force of his punch, making your head turn the other way. You haven't felt the pain instead shock shook you to the core. Realization feeling much like a bucket of ice water over your head. _Karma_ , you think. For hitting him. For not running away when you had the chance. You knew this was going to happen and you thought you could handle it. Still do. Doesn't make it less shocking, though. Maybe you had your head stuck in the clouds for too long. 

It wasn't like you were completely innocent. You hit him. Basically stabbed his back with a table edge. You like to think you were calm but truthfully your temper was just as bad as his. You were both guilty, you could have just talked this out like adults but impulses were too strong and both of you acted out before you could even comprehend the situation. 

You raise your head and stare back at his brown eyes. Shocked at his own actions but no hint of remorse or any signs of wanting to apologize. _That's good 'cause I'm not saying it either._

You eye the broken pieces of the glass vase and you wonder when that happened, a hand appears in your vision. Eita's pale, calloused hands reaching out to you. 

_You shouldn-_

You grabbed his hand, interlocking your finger with his. He leads you away from the shards of glass and into your shared bedroom.

* * *

_**"you ever love somebody so much** _

_**you can barely breathe when you're with them"** _

* * *

"Good morning"

The smell of miso soup with bacon lifting you up. At the center of the kitchen was Eita in an apron, cooking. You smile back, "Good morning"

On the way to grab the plates so you can set up the table, you eye the pieces of glass in the trash. Maybe you should think about it but you don't want to ruin the peace surrounding both of you. He settles down and you call out to him, "Eita"

His shoulder tenses and you immediately regret saying anything. You hold back a grimace.

"It's nothing. I forgot what I was going to say"

* * *

_**"now you're getting fucking sick, of looking at 'em"** _

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: oMGGg i'm sorry for not updating for so long. i didn't want to chop this off but it was getting too long (around 4.6k words huhu). should i make a part two? or should i let it end here and make it all ambiguous and shit? if someone asks for a pt. two ill make it. ANyways is there anyone u guys want to see? idk who to write about but i already have song in mind. 
> 
> 家1 - "Ie" meaning home/house


	20. insensitive. takanobu aone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i think there was a qoute that said "the opposite of love isnt hate its indifference" ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: This a pretty old song so some of u guys might not like it. This is for Florian, who requested it. Sorry if this isn't good enough lol but anyways thank you btw you were one of the very first ones who gave a heart to my stories. I remember bcoz i was so surprised ppl thought my writing was worth reading so thanks again <3 

[insensitive by jann arden lyric video ver](https://youtu.be/f7eyMvQT2bY)

**[insensitive by jann arden spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/0yx00RNuvZY5Vn8nlpUnMk?si=Lz-jmJCTQ8mDATCu3V4lPQ) **

* * *

It wasn't an over-the-top, I-can-write-a-book-about-this kind of love story. Simple, really. You decided that instead of standing up and having your the soles of your feet hurt, you can be smart and take a seat next to a hunk of a stranger. You were baffled when you saw empty seats on either side of him, _I mean who would pass up sitting next to him?_ Not you. After that day, you find yourself always sitting next to him, it became a routine. There were days you mustered enough courage and asked him a couple of things. Usually, he'd answer with either a nod, a shake of a head, or a shrug but if you were lucky enough, you'd hear a one-word answer. When you heard his voice, your insides were shaken to the core. It did things to your insides you never knew possible. Like it was twirling and spiraling. You let a small smile show on your face. You miss those days when everything was shit and giggles. It used to be so easy. Going to dates, laughing, hanging out, and giving kisses.

You wonder when it started to change, you truly had no idea what happened. Somewhere along the lines, you realized you were the only one getting butterflies. It was like riding a rollercoaster then finding out that that the person you were riding it disappeared. Excitement turning to fear. Maybe, you should have noticed it sooner but how can you read him? He rarely speaks and emotions don't show on his face. Sometimes, you question if the person in the wrong was you. Didn't the main lead understand their partner's feelings without having to say anything? Was it your fault? That you aren't able to understand the person you're in love with. 

* * *

_**"i really should have known"** _

* * *

"Ma'am, the restaurant is closing."

You blinked, snapped out of your reverie by the waitress's high-pitched voice. You eye the coffee that had gone cold, it told you that a considerable amount of time had passed. Flashing the waitress a smile, "Sorry, 'bout that. I didn't notice the time-" You get out of your seat, looping your arms through your multiple grocery bags. "-Well, I'll get out of your hair and thank you" 

Exiting the small diner, a few drops of rain fell from time to time but not as harsh when you first entered. You walk aimlessly, trying to get away from the diner. You didn't want the employees inside to think you were stood up. You weren't stood up. You've just been waiting for him for hours to pick you up. _Did he stood you up?_ About to text him when you see a familiar car pull up. You rush to get inside, having no umbrella with you. The end of your jeans getting dirty. 

After, putting the groceries in the backseat, you sit in the front seat. Not even having the time to put on your seatbelt, Aone starts to drive. You turn your whole body towards him, baffled.

"Are you serious? Are you being serious right now?" 

Not even hearing you, he continues to drive with no reply or acknowledgment. _Should you feel pissed?_ You didn't know how to react. Were you supposed to brush this off? Were you supposed to forgive him? Were you supposed to be okay with whatever is happening?

Your chest tightens, "Hey...Aren't you going to say anything? I waited for hours for you! You didn't even help me with putting the groceries inside! No "How are you doing?" or "I miss you" or even an "I'm sorry" !?"

Aone turns the wheel steering the car to the right. The only answer you got was from the nav's robotic voice, "Turn left in 22 meters" aside from that silence greeted you. Giving up, you let your back hit the car seat. You'd deal with this later.

* * *

_**"by the time you drove me home"** _

* * *

The car slows down to a stop. You open your mouth to argue with him some more-

"Sorry." Aone's deep voice says. Looking back at him and all you see were dead eyes. Your chest clenches painfully, you'd do anything for him to look at you the way he used to. _Fuck_ , it'll even be fine with you if he hated you, at the very least he'd _feel_ something for you. 

* * *

_**"by the vagueness in your eyes, your casual goodbyes** _

_**by the chill in your embrace** _ _**"** _

* * *

You gaze at Aone's back. He was currently in front of you carrying your groceries to your apartment. _He looked so strong,_ the thoughts you'd still think once in a while. He puts down the grocery on your doorstep and he takes the spare keys out of his back pocket, he enters and you turn the lights on. You lean on the wall just observing him putting things where they belong. 

"You want to stay tonight?" Your voice echoes in your hollow apartment, is it shameless of you to ask him to sleep over when you should be talking about your issues? Maybe. But you just want to feel a little bit less lonely. 

"No"

"oh."

You should've known. Your lips tremble at the rejection, feeling embarrassed. Hopefully, you didn't come off as needy. Aone, done with your groceries started heading to your doorway. You come with him, to see him off. He crouches down to put on his shoes. He meticulously ties the shoelaces and double-knot it. After he stood up to his full height and you crane your neck to look at him. 

"Goodbye"

He merely nods. You encircle your arms around his waist. You place the side of your head on his chest. A steady **_thump thump thump_ **that pales in contrast to your heart that was beating 120/km per hour. You tighten your hold on him and you wish he'd wrap his arms around you too. Maybe you'd feel less cold. _Was it always this cold?_ You could swear that there was frostbite on you. _Warm. It used to be so warm._ You pull back, wanting to see his face. Your could only smile because _what were you expecting?_

* * *

_**"the expression on your face told me-**_ "

* * *

"Promise me you won't do this again."

"Promise" _Really?_

"Promise you'd stop ignoring me"

"Yes" _You'll do this again_

"Tell me you love me"

"I love you" _You liar._

* * *

_**"maybe, you might have some advice to give"** _

* * *

Eyes filled with nothing. Eyes that felt nothing. Maybe one of these days you'd ask him how he did it so well so maybe one day you'd have that kind of eyes, too. Maybe one day when he calls your name you'd feel indifference. Maybe one day when you look at his rough hands holding yours, you'd feel nothing but apathy. Maybe one day. For now, you'd suffer. Suffer from the pain in your chest and asphyxiation. For now, you'll be content with being tortured because you _feel_ too much. For now, you'll be satisfied with being tormented if it meant _staying_ in love with him. 

You'll be fine. 

* * *

_**"on how to be insensitive"** _

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: i was kind of rushing. I'll do an even better one next time, also i tried changing the format of the lyrics and put it in the middle. i just wanted to try it and see how it would look. Does putting it in the middle make it look better or nah or it doesn't have any difference? Need your help cuz I'm a VERY indecisive person and idk what to do. U guys should comment! hehe i'm not going to bite or anything. but seeing comments make me really happy and motivates me. even if it's criticism or things i can improve on, i'm very open to it. that's all. hope u guys are doing well and take care always!<3


	21. like i need u. kageyama tobio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone had an angst one and since we support equality in this house tobio gets it too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: the lyric video is really pretty so if u have time plz watch it

**[like i need u by keshi lyric video ver](https://youtu.be/TClJi5F1FpQ) **

[like i need u by keshi spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/7ivYWXqrPLs66YwakDuSim?si=1Pw7ecx9T8yt6EYZtl4Jwg)

* * *

"Hey! Kageyama! I saw your game, you were so amazing!!" 

Kageyama Tobio looks at you, in your messy-haired, unpolished glory. You were beautiful, not in the way that when people see you walking they'd stop and stare at you but the type where your simple beauty grows on someone the more they look and get to know you. Although, for Kageyama, you might be the former as well because when he first saw you his breath was taken away. No, you weren't so jaw-droppingly gorgeous that he forgot to breathe instead you were so _pretty_ that he didn't _want_ to breathe in case an exhale might shatter and blow you away. He wonders if other people view you the way he sees you, he prays he's the only one or he'd have too many people competing for you but judging by furtive glances thrown by other boys vying for your attention—a look he knew too well— it was just wishful thinking.

Kageyama nods, bow his head slightly to show his gratitude then face the other way. He could choose to say something but he chooses not to, he doesn't trust himself. Doesn't trust himself with words, he knew how words can fail all too well. You really should stop being so.... _so you_. So beautiful, so unabashedly you. If you were like the others who knew where to stop, who knew when to stop proding, maybe he won't be so taken with you. It's rude though, to stop you from being you and he wonders if there's a polite way to ask, so maybe he'd stop having these ridiculous thoughts that aren't relevant to his sport. If this continues he'd have to stop playing volleyball and become a poet. 

You shove Kageyama, startling him. His eyes widening, comically. "Hey! Is that all you have to say? I went to your game to support you!" You pout, trying to elicit a reaction from him other than his nods or one-word replies. Kageyama stares at for a second or three, you tilt your head, showing your obvious confusion. He shakes his head as if he woke up from a dream and replies to your previous statement, "Thank you"

You grin, showing your unfiltered joy. _At least it isn't one word,_ you think, _although he's chattier during calls._ You put his notebook to the side, now using the vacant space on his table as your seat, you tell him how you watched volleyball videos to understand the game when you came to his match. His eyes that look back at you were still impossibly wide and you think you might just be talking to a brick wall. You put your hand to his head and he immediately closes his eyes and leans to your touch, a sigh of content escaping his lips. That makes you crack a smile, you giggle quietly, _he's a big 'ol softie_ _I'm telling you._ Your laughter dies down and you wish time could stop, just to make this moment feel longer. You knew better though and you end up retracting your hand before anyone can comment and use this to fuel the absurd rumors that you "like" the main setter of the Karasuno volleyball team.

Your heart clenches and your eyes darken, scowl settling in your pretty features.   
  


_You don't have a thing for Tobio._

* * *

_Riiingg Riiing Riiing_

The ravenette's phone rings and wakes him up from his sleep. He would've squinted at his phone trying to make out whose name was displayed, he would've wondered who would call him in the dead of the night. He would've but by now he knew this routine. You always called at this time of the night. A routine where he wished would never end but as he thinks that a pang of guilt hits his heart, to wish this routine means to continue the sorrow you go through every night. Was it selfish of him? To wish you'd continue to depend on him to get you through the night? Yes, it was. Does he continue to wish it? Yes. Why? Because Tobio knows deep in his bones the moment you'd be able to stand on your own two feet, you'd leave him and toss him away. Tobio _loves_ you and he _knew you better than anyone_. You were beautiful in his eyes, you were truly kind but you weren't perfect. You had sides in you filled with complete and utter darkness, sides that were less than desirable. Sides that'd scare a normal person away. In your heart was a parasite filling your head with cruel thoughts and vile desires. A parasite that wants more and demands more 

_More._

You always want more. You _always_ want someone's love. You _always, always_ chase the people who weren't supposed to be but the moment the person turns to you and hands you their heart, _you'd run._ You _always_ run. You end up leaving when they were reaching out to you. That was the part of you he hated, you won't take responsibility. He won't care if you didn't do it intentionally but you do. You just liked the chase and not the actual person. You liked to believe that you loved them and torment yourself over them, trying to get their attention and affections. He could list more about your flaws but truly he didn't care. His feelings override any red flags and logic. Kageyama Tobio is a simple boy with a simpler wish: to be with you. Your flaws were something he understood, something he empathizes with. He knew no matter how highly how he thinks of you, you were but a human with flaws. He was a human too after all and he knew he had his own fair share. Does that make you a bad person? A strong no. You were beautiful, and that doesn't just mean your physical features. You always had a unique perspective on things, you were a logical person with an air of dignity when it comes to your opinions but you were also a listener. Without fail, you listened to everyone and even to opinions, you don't like. You were patient and kind. Never the one to shun anyone out. It was a mystery how you could talk with the people labeled as "weirdos" but you weren't avoided like a plague by the "popular" people. He loves that about you. You were just plain nice and friendly.

He knew you were ashamed when you toy with other people's feelings but he doesn't want you to feel that way. That doesn't mean he'd encourage you leading other people on though. What he does want was to grow together, to be better. He wants you to teach him to be a better version of himself and maybe do the same for you. He wants to be there when you learn that all the love you'd ever need was right in front of you, all you had to do was take it. To take a leap of faith. Kageyama wants that, he was always _wanting._

He takes a deep breath and presses the call button on his phone. 

" _Tobio? Hi. Sorry, again_." And as if to clarify why she was sorry, she continues. " _—for calling so late_ "

Tobio grunts in acknowledgment, he sits up trying to find a position comfortable enough to talk to you.

" _Thank you_ —"he hears the heavy sigh that falls from your mouth, "— _Talk to me. Please"_

The setter chuckles at your small squeak in the end, "What should I talk about?"

" _Anything. Just talk to me"_

Kageyama talks to you about his dream and goals. Friends and rivals. Volleyball teams that he wants to play against. The food he wants to eat. He tells you everything about him but at the same thing nothing. He doesn't tell you his feelings, his love. He doesn't tell you he'd do anything for you, doesn't tell you that you were the girl he'd want to spend his life with. Doesn't tell you the things that might matter because deep in his heart he knew that _you_ knew. Yet, you wouldn't say a thing.

Because he knew that your silence was the answer. He didn't _know_ if it was a "yes" or a "no", what he did know was it was most definitely an "I'm not ready"

* * *

The winds were chilly and prickly against Kageyama's skin as he bikes through town. Last night's conversation replaying in his mind. He wondered what made you that way. Kageyama thinks it had to do with your family. The black-haired setter had a somehow concrete idea of how your family relationship looks like, answers were rarely given when he was feeling brave enough to ask. Most of the time though, Tobio didn't have to ask. You just tell him. He thinks your chasing people that didn't love you until they did was mostly a reflection of the relationship you had with your mom. The want and a never-ending desire for someone, _everyone_ to love you because your mother never gave you the love you should have had. The feeling of never being enough. The desire to always be next to somebody. He wants to sweep you off of your feet, save you from the agony of your home life. He longs to be right next to you when you lock yourself in your bathroom to cry out your heart and when you curl yourself into a ball to drown out the outside world. He'd prefer it if he was the one you were hugging instead of the pillow that you'd imagine was a person because you didn't have someone to comfort you. 

The blue-eyed boy has seen you affectionate with your girl friends. You always hug and hold hands with your friends, you were so famous for hugging other people that you can just come out, even to someone you're not close with, with outstretched arms and they'd immediately know you were asking for a hug. Everyone knew you were an affectionate person, your friends and classmates come to you when they have a bad day to hug you, and maybe by this point the ravenette might be trying to blindly connect the dots but he also thought this was due to your upbringing. You rarely or none at all, receive affection from your parents. You were so void of affection you wound up searching for it in everybody else. You weren't hugging people because of some black-hearted scheme, no, this was bred from _pure_ lack of comfort and _craving_ for affection. He wished he could shower you with his affection although you might end up running away from the fear of drowning in his love.

* * *

The setter leans on the rough wall behind him. He let himself eavesdrop on your conversation with a boy, guilt gnaws at his heart but fear overtook his mind. He quietly sips his milk, as your voice was carried by the wind.

"—go out with me"

"I'm so sorry but I don't like you. I don't know anything about you, maybe if we were close but we aren't. You're a great guy, there's probably someone out there better for you."

Ha. Kageyama could just chuckle at your skills, rejecting him but still giving him false hope. Hope that _maybe_ if both of you were close you'd like him back but Kageyama _knew._ The moment that both of you _were_ close, you'd then reject him because you were "friends" and then tell him "maybe if we weren't friends". You never outright reject a person always giving them reasons that make them expect for a "maybe". 

"...so, if we're close? You'd—?"

"I don't know"

"Oh. I thought that you rejected me because you liked someone else"

"Huh?" Kageyama imagines your furrowed eyebrows, and he can't help but let out another chuckle.

"People said you liked that volleyball player in your class. What was his name..?"

"Tobio?" At his name, his heart picks up the pace. His heart drums in the rhythm of "maybe"

"Yeah! That guy!"

"Sorry but no"

His heart that was going into overdrive abruptly stopped. No hesitation and not a moment late. You didn't even give a "maybe". Was it so impossible that you didn't have to think about it? He sees a blurry vision of his milk box on the ground and he wondered when he dropped that, but for now, he needed to get out of there fast. He feels the salty tears that run down his cheeks. He hears a ringing in his ear as everything else was drowned out. _Distract me. Get away from me. Leave me. I need something to distract me._

And as he wipes the tears from his eye, his feet take him where he needs to go. He takes in a deep breath as the gym's court fill his field of vision. He takes a few volleyball balls to shove you out of his mind.

* * *

Tobio was in too deep because come midnight, he was already waiting for your call. Gone were the thoughts of your rejection. He was just waiting, patiently. _Call again,_ he wishes, _call again._ Patience was one of the traits he was proud of. He was patient when it comes to volleyball. Patient when waiting to exploit the opponent's small mistake, patient when waiting for the opportunity, patient when it comes to the timing of his attacks. _Patient when it comes to you_. 

He waits and waits and waits.

* * *

_4:30_

All he could do was cry. Was this is it? You didn't call. He bites his bottom lip to possibly quiet his sobs. You had him wrecked by missing a call, what more when you didn't call _at all?_. Scared. Tobio was so scared. Frightened by the hold you had on him. How could you break him so easily?

_God, he wished he never met you._

* * *

Here he was, his head hung. He couldn't, no, _wouldn't_ look you in the eye. He knew you knew. Maybe if his mind was less hazy, he'd have registered that the shout last time was your voice. He'd have to spit out things you already knew and go through this all over again.

"I—"

"You what, Tobio?"

"I-" He can feel his voice grow smaller by every passing second "I love you" It was nothing but a small murmur and he knew you didn't hear it but you didn't have to listen because he knew _you_ _know._

A grimace marred your beautiful face as Tobio gathers all his courage to take a peek at you. " _Haah, I thought by now you would've known better"_

"Listen, Tobio. We're just friends, basically family. Maybe if we weren't friends but we are and I don't date friends. Everyone knows this." Kageyama wished he was even just a little more special than others and won't get your usual scripted reply, he thought you'd give him an honest reply. 

He hears you taking steps away from him, steps that take you farther away from him. 

He remembers being in this exact same position before, when he was so _so more naive_ and believed you were some type of angel sent from heaven. He used to be the person you chased after, you'd blush and make cute mistakes in front of him. You used to be chasing him from behind but as he lifts his head up, he was the one staring at your back. 

* * *

A year older with scars hastily covered up and nights filled with nothing but his tears and crying fits, he emptily stares as you blush at someone. Tuck your hair behind your ear and give a nervous giggle. He can't help but feel his heart ache just the tiniest bit.

Now a year older, Tobio was a simple man with a simpler wish: to stay away from you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: didn't edit this one hehe. how are you guys btw? hope all of guys are doing well. we have 119 kudos!1!! I'm so happy hehe. Thank you so much<3


	22. so slow. miya osamu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> being scared of sexy times lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: i had to make one for osamu since i made one for his twin.

[so slow by freestyle spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/6F4Scj944RJCZPgcGuAqym?si=2IldV5rYREW03l-Pxiplig)

* * *

"WHAT!?"

"SHShhsSHSHHHH!!! Be quiet for fuck's sake. Be any louder and the whole world will know"

"You haven't had—?"

"Yeah. Is it so hard to believe?"

"Well...yes. Miya Osamu was so notorious for hopping from one girl's bed to another"

"Uuughh. Don't remind me"

"...What if he's getting it from somewhere else?"

Your throat thinking about the possibility of Osamu cheating on you and your chest tightening, threatening to make tears well up in yours. You've always felt insecure with your relationship with him, knowing how different you were from his previous flings and dates. You look away from your long-term friend, Himari, to the scene outside the cafe window to maybe numb the crippling uncertainty you feel every day. Sensing your silence Himari knew she pushed the wrong button.

"Hey, he did court you for like a year or so. It was so ridiculous," Himari chuckles reminiscing memories back in your college days, "I would never be able to forget him running all over the campus to get you snacks or flowers. Who would've known the great Miya Osamu will fall down to his knees for you."

That gets a small chuckle out of you, remembering his usual calm and composed demeanor being reduced to a ball of nerves. The days where he patiently waits for you after class ends to walk you to your apartment. His precious hair all messy due to his sprinting to give you flowers before his class starts. You rejected his advances for a year because you thought that it will never work between the two of you, plus the constant glares of other girls were enough to make you irate towards him but he's been through the ups and downs of your university life. He's seen you at your ugliest, you laid down your flaws and insecurities yet he continued to be with you. 

_Insecurities_ , you could only sigh at the word. You've already told him your fears in a relationship, you've both talked about it yet it continues to persist in the back of your mind. You continue to grow scared, afraid of the time Osamu would realize that you weren't actually worth that much and would decide to leave you. 

"Why don't you want to do it, anyway? I don't see the big deal"

You turn red at Himari's remark, embarrassed at your ridiculous beliefs you hold on strongly to. "Just because"

Himari snorts at you blushing like a virgin, which you were. "Are you religious or something? Is that it? You pray to God every day?"

"No? The fuck. I'm Buddhist and even then, I don't really care."

"Then what!? What is holding you from getting that D?" Himari shakes her head, exasperated at you. 

"I don't know!! I just... I just feel safer. I also think it's romantic"

Your long-term friend deadpans at you, "What do you mean romantic? What's romantic is touching each other under the moonlight on the grass"

You scrunch your nose, "On the grass? That is weird, isn't it uncomfortable? What if there are bugs?"

Himari smacks your head for taking what she said too literally, "I'm just exaggerating, you fool. Even if I wasn't, it's definitely more romantic than whatever you guys are doing."

"Maybe," You exhale deeply showcasing the worries you've been holding. "I just feel like it's a sign of patience, y'know? If he could wait for me then it means he'd never be swayed by other girls"

"Are you waiting until marriage or something?"

"No! Definitely not. I don't think I could wait that long either. Maybe after 3 or 4 years?"

"What the fuck, girl! You might as well get married by then!"

"Stop being dramatic! We've been together for 2 years already, turning 3, he just has to wait for a few months"

"Oh. Then it should be fine? I don't get why you're worried?" Himari raises her eyebrows in question, if it's this close then why were you still sighing like your dog just died?

"But that's why! I don't feel ready, yet! I need another year"

"Dude, I don't think that man-whore can wait that long"

"I know! I know... Should I just do it? I really love him, y'know? I've never loved anyone as much as I love him. I don't want him to leave me"

"That's where you're wrong," Himari's eyebrows scrunched, her rare serious tone of voice appearing. Your legs start bouncing up and down to signal your nerves. Himari was rarely serious, and everyone knew that when she was you better listen. 

"You do it because you want to, not because you're scared"

* * *

**_"i've been with you boy_ **

**_three years is quite a while_ **

**_but getting too sensual_ **

**_is really not my style"_ **

* * *

"Tadaima!" 

You were laying on your side couch, head on the armrest. Tired from all the talking you had to do with Himari. You were replaying the conversation you had with Himari, thinking about what she said. Usually, when Himari says something serious, you'd listen and follow without a second thought but this isn't one of these times. You felt fear like never before, a monster with fangs clawing at your chest swallowing you whole. 

_'Tell me. Tell me you won't leave me'_

_'Promise you'll stay'_

_'Don't go'_

You were scared, it was as simple as that yet why did it feel so complicated? You curl up in a ball, hugging yourself tightly to protect you from your own thoughts. Sometimes, you feel confident he loves you then some times you'd fall down the abyss of despair questioning every action he takes. Was it bad that you'd refuse to compromise and stand firmly on your views? You've always met him in the middle yet this was something you can't budge an inch on. A hand on your head took you out from your reverie, the head you've buried tilts up to look at homely black eyes. 

' _What did I do to deserve him?'_ Your lips tremble at the very thought, was it true when those other girls said you didn't earn the right to be with him?

"What were you thinking about that you didn't hear me come in?" a deep, warm voice that never failed to make your heart clench with intense emotions. You look deep into his eyes that shows utmost sincerity, sincerity you always question. "Are you thinking too hard, again? Don't do that, you'll hurt your pretty head"

* * *

_**"you know i love you  
and i like it just like this"** _

* * *

His Kansai dialect wasn't as prominent as it used to be, years in Tokyo changing his way of speech but in rare moments, his dialect resurfaces and makes you feel alright. Like everything's falling into place, making you think back to your college days. You feel his arms wrap around you in an effort to ground you, to make sure you're sturdy. That you won't be swept away by the waves of doubt. 

_" **I love you** "_, he emphasizes each word, his truthfulness reverberating in your heart. You inhale deeply, breathing in his earnest proclamation. His unadulterated faith in you, his patience. In times like this, you'd end up wondering why you were so scared in the first place. Whatever was blocking at your throat was gone, you gather every bit of your courage. Scouring all over for fragments of bravery.

"Will you wait for me?"

"Is that even a question?" Osamu chuckles as he always does when you had your moments. You asked him once, offended when he laughed at your concerns. 

* * *

_"Does my worries amuse you?"_

_"No, but you thinking I don't love you with all my heart amuses me. The day I'd stop loving you is the day when the moon collides with the sun"_

* * *

You blushed too much at the cheesy sentence. You were never a sucker for those kinds of statements, always confused why female leads never cringe at those types of words and Osamu was definitely not the type of guy who'd say those things either. He'd probably say scrunch his nose and say " _gross_ _"_ after someone proclaimed their love for him. That time was an exception even if it was cheesy, the way he said it with utter certainty plucked a chord with you. As if he _truly believed_ him not loving you will never happen. That there wasn't even a 0.0001% chance. He believed that his loyalty to you was unquestionable. That the odds of him not loving you was so absurd he considers it a joke.

"Do you think I'm some beast who can't live without sex and fuck every woman in sight?"

"..."

He holds your shoulders and pulls himself away to check your expression. You giggle, showing him you were just messing around. It made him chuckle, relieved that you were feeling so much better. He sighs and runs his hand through your hair. You lean into his touch, leaning your cheek into his palm. 

"I don't know how many times I have to say this but _I won't leave. Ever. Even if you push me away_ "

Your eyes flutter close, his reassurance meaning a lot more than you can put into words. 

"Plus we're in this for the long run aren't we? Waiting for a few more years won't make any difference, so I might as well wait. I'm a really patient man, yannow? I am the better half after all"

You laugh at his jabs toward Atsumu, "Don't say that. 'Tsumu will throw a tantrum"

"Bleh. Even if I don't he'll find another reason to throw a tantrum about"

* * *

_**"we gotta play our love just right  
i know you know the time will come"** _

* * *

Your arms were wrapped around Osamu's torso and his arms wrapped around yours. You like this arrangement the most, never really feeling comfortable with being the big spoon or the little spoon. You like it when you faced him and he faced you. Feeling safe in his arms and at the same time, hoping he felt the same way when he is in yours. The gentle lull of his breath coupled with the exhaustion and the mental fatigue this day brought you, in no time you were fading to sleep. Although, you thanked the gods for allowing you to hear Osamu's vow and promise to you. You felt absolute clarity. To hear him say the unspoken with words washed away your fears.

" _I'll wait for you. Always."_

* * *

__**"let's take it slow, so slow  
anywhere you wanna go  
baby, for you, i'll lay it all on the line"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: this was in my drafts for so long that i had to finish it. i always wanted to write about this type of view because i find it so unique and different. 
> 
> i have kita and suna for the next two chaps. i might publish it this week or the next since i am a lazy bitch that needs a few days rest after a couple of modular (our school don't even have exams. all we have to do is make posters and infographics abt things you could easily search about). my 1st term is finished, i am so happy lol. altho, my strand is very easy so i have no complaints. i see my friends who took stem and i feel utter pity for them. Ever since term 1 until now i don't even have genmath, my hardest subj was pe :P Thank the lords.


	23. baby blue. kita shinsuke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> men + jeans + plain shirt = 👌

[baby blue by dempsey hope spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/19ycym22ELrmEoXWV40py6?si=CGSWw0YmTsWHfWTFBuzDPA)

[baby blue by Dempsey hope lyric video ver](https://youtu.be/qX0UyITI5Ak)

* * *

**_"you see me, i see you_ **

**_across the corridor_ **

**_tight jeans, baby blue_ ** **_"_ **

* * *

**Mission: See-him-in-see-him-out-of-his-pants**

**Trial #1**

"So, you're going to be creepy again? Goodness, why can't I be surrounded by normal people?"

"Oh, shut up. You're weird too. And!! I'm going to talk to him this time for sure!"

"No, not really. I'm pretty normal when it comes to my crushes"

"But!! He looks so good in those jeans! I don't know how someone so powerful is in the agriculture department but in the same way, I couldn't imagine him in any other course"

Akari nods in agreement with your previous statement. She also doesn't know how someone so good-looking ended up with such a peculiar course, people taking that course was little to none. After all, Japan is a technology-forward country and no youth ever takes that it. Although, Kita Shinsuke radiates the energy of a 50-year-old. Akari voices her thoughts to you, wanting to hear your position on her opinion. (You'd probably defend Kita)

"He _feels_ old. Like maybe fifty"

"Then I'll call him daddy"

"Eeewww," Akari pulls her face into an expression of disgust. "Please don't tell me that's one of your kinks"

"It could be if he's into it"

"CHANGE TOPIC" You laugh at Akari's discomfort. She had been your long-time friend, you knew her ever since middle school but only got close in your senior high. Ever since then the two of you stuck together. You had lots of friends but none became so engrained in your life like Akari. It was 10 minutes after the lecture ended and you were still standing in the doorway of your classroom, all of your classmates were already gone seeing as it was the last subject of the day. As college kids, the moment class ends, everyone just bolts towards the door. You were in one of the classrooms as it was a specialized subject in your course and his was next to yours (You thank the deities for bestowing you the gift of having your class next to him). 

Your teacher once held you back due to you failing to pass an assignment on time for the nth time in a row, it wasn't so serious that you'd fail the subject but it was enough to warrant a warning. After 15 minutes of his sermon, you exit the classroom, and then, you saw a blinding white light, sakura petals fell from the sky. You heard a choir of angels singing in the background as cupid shot an arrow through your heart because there, locking up his classroom, was a man in denim jeans and a white shirt. You saw the world in his eyes, the snow in his hair, and a sea of chocolate swirling in those eyes. Were you in love? Most definitely. Did you feel like crying because you someone so beautiful you thought it was an angel guiding you to heaven? Absolutely. Will you cross the seven seas to see those legs in jeans again? No doubt about it. Were you drooling? Totally. He spared you a glance but looked the other way before you could even introduce yourself and sped walk out of there. Because of the way he basically ran away from you, you were so nervous about getting close to him, but this was the day you were going to get his number, date him, and also (just maybe) see him out of his jeans (insert winky face). 

"OH! He's coming out! Get ready, you bitch."  
  


You smooth over the [yellow dress](https://pin.it/6vGrnTo) that you layered with a [white cardigan](https://pin.it/6vGrnTo)and left the buttons open. You partnered it with your white chunky shoes. When you were younger, you had always hated wearing dresses deeming it too girly but now that you were mature and had mastered the art of laziness. Dresses were practical and if you wanted to be lazy but also not look like a slob, dresses were your go-to. After all, you only have to put the cloth on and it was basically it. No need to think about your blouse and what bottom to match it with. 

You made sure your hair was tidy then you strut out your classroom door with faked confidence. He was locking up the classroom again and you started walking towards him. He was in jeans again except now he had a black shirt on. You took one step after another. Every step you took felt like a year, your vision was tunneling and focusing only on the man before you. Maybe that's why you didn't notice your shoelaces and in the worst possible moment, it all came crashing down. Literally. You were falling and you had that rare movie-like moment where it was all going in slow-mo. Slowly but surely, you were going to crash and hit the floor. Embarrass yourself in front of your crush then live a life in seclusion and go on a journey to find what was the meaning of life if it was not dating the man in front of you. 

But that didn't happen. Because you were now looking into soft brown eyes peering into yours, making sure you're fine. Your breath was snatched away from you as you look at him. He looking at your form, checking if you were alright. His eyebrows furrow as he tuts at your untied shoelaces. 

"Be more careful. Tie your shoelaces tightly and triple knot it"

"...I fell"

"Yes." Kita was slightly confused, were you so scared that you were having an aftershock, "You did"

"for you..."

Kita's ears instantly turned red, a slight blush threatening to erupt as he held it back. He had noticed you before and thought you were pretty, once in passing, the type of girl he can introduce to his grandmother. Not enough to make him pursue you since he didn't know you too well. Kita Shinsuke was definitely alarmed and on guard.

"Are you trying to sell me something?"

".......WHAT!?"

"The people who only said something like that to me was a saleslady trying to make me buy a bag" Shinsuke recalls the time when he went to a mall back in his middle school years:

_"You look like an excellent son to your parents."_

_"I live with my grandmother"_

_"Oh... I bet you are a very thoughtful kid who always takes care of your grandparent"_

_"Thank you"_

_"How about you buy this bag? I bet your grandmother will really love it. After all, you are a good son, no? I bet you'd like to give a gift to your grandmother"_

Kita was ashamed to say that he did buy that bag for his grandmother which was left unused but was treated as a prized possession. He was thankful that his grandmother just took it with gratitude. Since then he never made the same mistake again. It was definitely not one of his finer moments. He had been wary of compliments from strangers ever since.

"No! I am not selling you anything"

"Then why?"Kita's eyes narrow as he searches 

"I like you!" Kita's blush was back and this time, it was back in full force. He had never been in this situation, deemed too cold for any confessions. How can you say it with no hesitation!? He panics and, doing something he had never done before, bolts away to avoid his thumping heart. 

Your jaw drops as you stare at him running away from you. You could only hope you didn't scare him away.

**Result: Mission failed**

* * *

**_"i knew right when i saw you_ **

**_and looked in your eyes_ **

**_exactly what i had to do"_ **

* * *

**Trial #7**

You were at the small restaurant Kita worked at. It was a take-out only resto at the edge of the city, Kita only worked there every Saturday and Sunday. It was owned by an elderly couple which was the reason why it was a take-out only. To reduce the manpower, the elderly couple only hires one person to man the counter and package the food while they cook. It was _so_ Kita Shinsuke to work at a place like that, and honestly, it was another reason to add to your ever-growing list titled "Why Kita Shinsuke is superior".

"Irrasshaimase" You hear Kita's cool voice (his voice was already in your "Why Kita Shinsuke is superior" list), "(Last name)?"

You summon your inner acting skills, "What!? O-MY-G! I _definitely did not_ know you were here! What? This must be fate!"

If your tone sounded a little dead inside, it was because you were cursing Akira for her terrible script and at yourself for following through. You enter the small diner. It had white walls with several posters, it was tiny with only a few chairs for people who were waiting. 

"What are you doing here?" He cuts the small talk and goes straight to the point, his voice stern and strict. 

"But this was just a coincidence??" He sends you a pointed look that was most likely judging your poor choices. He had an 'I don't believe you' look. "Fine, fine. I found out from Akira. This is so unfair! I can't believe you didn't fall for that. 

His eyes narrow telling you not even a fool would have believed your bullshit. "You are a horrible liar" Kita states, saying the obvious.

"Whatever, whatever." At this point, you had already tried a couple of different approaches to court him. Flowers, singing (terribly off-key), chocolates, love letters. You never got a clear answer out of him, he was either a.) ignoring you b.) running away from you. You never gave up, though. Why? He never said 'no'. You wouldn't stop not when you had even the smallest chance.

"Is that all?"

"Yes"

"That'll be 756 yen"

"Mig-wait, what?"

"I said that'll be 756 yen" Kita raises an eyebrow at you (in a very dignified manner, might I add)

"Aren't you supposed to ask my name?" You knew he was supposed to ask for your name because you had another one of your friends come here and buy from him. Kita usually just calls out the name of the customers to pick-up their food. You did extensive research after all, and you made sure you inspected everything, so you had the most desirable outcome. 

"I know your name"

"Ask for my name, please"

"I already know your name, I don't have to ask for it"

"Just do it!" Shinsuke narrows his eyes, weighing the pros and cons of going with whatever you were planning. Usually, people would have been unnerved by his death stare (even the twins knew when to stop) but you were somehow unaffected (because his 'death stare' is listed in your "Why Kita Shinsuke is superior" list and known as the "he's probably glaring at me but I'm going to pretend he's staring at me romantically")

Shinsuke sighs, "What's your name?"

"Migur Fren"

Shinsuke sends you another baffled look (it doesn't show on his face but you can feel the energy of his confusion). He ended up just shaking his head and going to the back to take care of your order. Helping in the back, sometimes Kita will peek at you to make sure you weren't making trouble, at least that's what Kita will tell himself. 

You see, Kita Shinsuke has a problem. He likes you too. He really really likes you. As in, "wow I never knew I can blush and experience this emotion and be extremely flustered" type of like. He feels weird. _Very weird._ Every time you tried to ask him out it surprises him and impresses him. He knows you're being genuine even if you were being clumsy about it. You kept _trying_. And honestly, Shinsuke liked that. You were persistent yet you weren't pushy. He wanted to say yes to you but he always chokes and messes up. This time, though he'd say yes. 

"Shinsuke-kun~ It's all done." The frail voice of the restaurant's grandmother breaks him out of his stupor. Shinsuke sends the grandmother a smile. The couple was a comforting presence for Kita as he was currently away from his own grandmother to study. He glares at the name on the receipt, 'Migur Fren'. Were you with another guy? It was definitely not your brother or father after all it had a different last name. 

Kita routinely calls out the name on the receipt even if you were the only one inside the diner, "Takeout for Migur Fren"

You saunter over to the counter, swaying your hips in an exaggerated manner. You flipped your hair and winked at Shinsuke, " Yes. I'm your girlfriend~"

**Result: Mission failed**

* * *

**_"i been searchin' for purpose_ **

**_that special person_ **

**_and i'm thinking it may be you"_ **

* * *

**mission: i'm-really-going-to-say-yes-this-time**   
  


**trial #1**

Fire was burning inside Kita's eyes (not visible unless you stare really hard). He wasn't running away anymore. _He was going to say yes._ This was really it. He walked in the hallway with determination. He sees you walking along with your friend, you had your head down while your friend was rubbing your back. 

"(Last name)"

Your head snaps toward the Kita, your demeanor instantly brightening up. You bounce towards Shinsuke like a puppy, excited. "I didn't see you for so long! I was missing you"

Kita Shinsuke blew a fuse. He was flushed red head to toe. "Wha-What?"

"Oh, by the way! I've been meaning to ask you if those jeans are space pants"

"I don't think so. They were gifts given to me by Atsumu"

"Oh, your previous volleyball teammate?"

"Yes"

"Wait...That's not the point. Ask me why!"

"Why?"

You face-palm at the dumb conversation (yet very cute. this is going to the list) "No! I mean ask me why when I ask if those are space pants" You ready yourself to throw your pick-up line at Shinsuke. 

"Are those space pants?"

"Why?" Kita cutely tilts his head, genuinely not understanding what the fuck was happening.

" 'Cause your ass is out of this world" You grinned goofily, you were probably truly impressed by your genius.

You thought Kita would've been blushing by now but he looked deadly serious. As you stare hard into his eyes you see a fire. In Kita's point of view though, he was going into overdrive. _'She is so cute, grandmother will like her. She's been wanting me to get married. I'm just going to say yes. She is cute. What was I supposed to say again? Was it—"_

"...Let's.."

"Let's?" You repeat wondering where Kita was getting at. 

"....Let's get mArRiED!"

You smile wildly, happy to _finally_ get an answer from Kita (this was a different answer from what you've been expecting but it was honestly better). "OKAY!"

"Wait..no. I mean yes! But no t-" You grab a fistful of Kita's white shirt and smash his lips against your effectively shutting him up. You feel his small smile against your lips that make you smile too. You feel extremely happy because _finally._

_"I like you a lot"_

_"I like you too"_

**Result: Mission failed successfully**

* * *

****_"Oh honey i adore  
how you see mе, i see you  
across the corridor"_


	24. casual. suna rintarou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aggresive confession pt 2

[casual by doja cat Spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/2tT9weSQUFDWsVgHBYz3G6?si=E9vnb-MrTp-m5plJrbzq5A)

[casual by doja cat lyrics ver](https://youtu.be/dvK66IDJvHM)

* * *

**_"take it off, follow me now, let me in, don't shut me out"_ **

* * *

"Did you close the door?" Hushed whispers come from the two. Small giggles come from one of them and an exasperated sigh from the other. You trip on a few boxes as Suna gently guides her across the room. The cramped space was pitch dark, an intimate haven that they escaped to. The storage room was located in the corner of a gym. 

The volleyball player lightly grazes his fingers on your thighs before grabbing them and lifting you. You gasps, surprised, lock your legs around the boy to make sure you won't fall. You feel your back hit the wall behind you as the boy buries his head on your neck. Biting, kissing, and sucking. "No! Don't leave hickeys!"

The boy hum to express that he heard you, not his compliance. You lose yourself into your moans mangled with his. You felt his tip enter you, teasing you by entering you shallowly then exiting. You whine, about to voice your complaints when he suddenly thrusts his full length into you, making you wrap your arms around his head, keeping him close. His chins nestle in the dip of your shoulder, grunting as your nails scratch his back. His muscles were tense as you tighten around him. _You were so close. Just one mo-_

"Yes, everything you need is in here" Both of your eyes widen, simultaneously as you hear the sport's coordinator. 

' _Oh shit'_

* * *

**"you don't need to paint me a sweet fantasy"**

* * *

Suna Rintarou was feeling bored as he stares blankly at his Economics teacher. He sees his teacher open his mouth but he doesn't register whatever he had said. He had been suspended for a week for the stunt he had pulled in the storage room, it would've been longer if Atsumu didn't basically force him to grovel at the coordinator's feet. You had been suspended for a month, refusing to kowtow to your P.E teacher. The whole thing was a hush-hush affair, no one involved wanting the incident to spread. It was so embarrassing that even the P.E teacher didn't want to bring it up to the principal. Although, his severely shameful questions made Suna regret everything.

_"Did the two of you..." The sports coordinator or better known as his volleyball coach coughs, basically mumbling "...use protection?"_

_For the first time in his life, Suna had felt so ashamed that he felt like dying then and there. His cheeks aflame, 'Is this how Atsumu feels every day?'_

Ever since then, Suna had been slightly kinder to Atsumu for a week before reverting to his usual behavior. Teasing Atsumu was way too funny for him to abandon it. He spots you peeking through the small glass on the classroom door. Suna furrows his eyebrows, ' _What is she doing here?'_

When the teacher had dismissed them, he walks straight to you. Tapping your shoulder to gain your attention, you turn around facing him. You smile, your eyes, crinkling. "Should we walk home together?"

Suna stiffens, this was _not_ part of the deal. You looking for him after class was not agreed upon. Not that he didn't like it but you were doing things that you weren't supposed to do and it makes him uneasy. _What were you trying to do?_

* * *

_**"say what you feel, don't just say anything  
why complicate what could be so easy?"** _

* * *

Your hands bump against Suna's every so often. You felt like grabbing it, holding it on your own. Your heart flutters having him walk by your side like this. If possible you wished this walk would never end, that the road would stretch forever so he'd be stuck beside you, walking by you. He treated you differently from what you're used to, you enjoyed it. You liked his stories about his friends, his deadpan, and sarcastic humor. He stood out from everyone you've ever met.

"Why did you want to walk with me?" You look at Suna, who continued to stare straight ahead. You blush, looking back down. 

"I wanted to walk home _with_ you" Was that too forward? Would he push you away? You notice that you were not beside someone anymore. You turn, looking back at Suna. He had stopped walking by you, a few steps behind. He glared at the ground, "Don't just say things like that. It's confusing"

He turns around and walks away, leaving you behind as you stare at his back.

* * *

_**"leave me alone  
if you is a player i don't think i'ma play with you"** _

* * *

"Heard you got caught by Coach Kurosu with (name)" Ginjima slaps Suna on the back, "If Kita-san was here, you'd be dead already"

"Yeah, who knew you had it in you to get with (Name)?" Osamu snorts, shaking his head "When Atsumu heard what happened, he raged"

  
Ginjima asks with a questioning tone, why Osamu was stating something so obvious. "Well, of course, he'd get mad. Suna got suspended from training."

"Ha! That's what you would think"

"So he didn't get mad because Suna got suspended from training?"

"Eeh, I mean it's part of the reason but mainly because he liked her"

"Seriously!? I didn't those were the type of girls Atsumu liked. In fact, I didn't think you liked those kinds of girls too, Suna" Ginjima states, shocked.

"What do you mean ' _those kinds of girls'_?" Suna narrows his eyes, thinking Ginjima was insulting you.

He brings his hand up in a "surrender" motion and shaking his head to emphasize his point. "I mean nothing bad by it. It's just I thought you guys like the fiery and feisty type more."

"I do."

"Then why're you with her?"

"..." Suna decides to throw his drenched towel at Hitoshi and walk away from the conversation. He didn't know what to answer. ' _Yeah...Why am I with her?'_

* * *

_**"you always act so different, you make it all seem perfect"** _

* * *

The bright light that shone through the curtains momentarily blind Rintarou as he wakes up, the surrounding seemed hazy and blurry as sleep continues to occupy his eyes. He makes a move to sit up but he wasn't able to get far when his arm stayed glued on his bed, his arm was being used as a pillow. He falls back to his bed, choosing to lay with you longer, his mind goes back to Hitoshi's question: _"Then why're you with her?"_

_'Because of this'_

Suna hears the gentle inhale and exhale of your breath as he combs away the hair covering your face with his fingers. He didn't want to leave or go anywhere. He wanted to stay. Stay here with you in his arms as he protects you from the world. He wants to keep you in his arms, only his to hold and embrace. He swears to himself that he'd always protect you whenever you're in his arms. ' _Please continue to stay within my grasp'_. His arms tighten, dragging you closer. Your naked skin touching with his, no clothes nor blanket separating you from him. You weren't his ideal type, in fact, you were the complete opposite but he likes you. He likes you so much. Ideal types be damned. Until he dies, when asked about his ideal type he'd describe you in great detail. If your ordeal with him ended, he'd always try to find a trace of you in other girls. His tight grip on you stirs you awake, you feel his arms caging you in. You felt secure. You smile earnestly and your heart fills with joy to wake up next to him.

"Good Morning~"

* * *

_**"i'm tryin' to be patient, how am i supposed to take it?"** _

* * *

You felt like this was heaven punishing you. The world decided you were too happy and felt the need to fuck things up for you. Rintarou had been avoiding you for weeks now. He would bolt the other way when he saw you, cornering him didn't work as he uses volleyball practice to discontinue any substantial conversation. Spamming his phone doesn't work either. There was another method you haven't used: Calling him out in public. 

You don't try to confront him in public, knowing he would feel uncomfortable if your relationship with has known by the student body and the possibility of him ignoring you was too high. You could call him out during class, which was a pretty decent idea, you'd ask his teacher to talk to Rintarou. He'd have to come out and he'd be forced to talk to you but you don't know if your teacher would allow you to take a trip to someone else's class and even if you lie, Suna might hate you if you put him on the spot. 

' _I need to call him out during a class but I also have to make sure he won't be uncomfortable by putting him in the spotlight'._ An idea clicks and you smirk at the foolproof plan

* * *

_**"i know you know i'm right, pick up on the vibe  
if you read between the lines, bein' shy just ain't my style"** _

* * *

The volleyball gym stands over you making you feel intimidated and anxious about your plan. You shake your head to get the negative feelings out. ' _You can do this. You grab him by the ear, confess then make out'_

You timidly enter the volleyball gym, you had heard your school was quite strong and seeing them practice made you feel that it was the truth. You head over to their volleyball coach, your eyes widening. ' _I didn't know Kurosu-sensei was their volleyball coach!?'_

"Kurosu-sensei!?" You ask out loud. 

"Ugh...I'm assuming you here for Suna?"Your P.E teacher coughs to hide his awkwardness. You merely nod in response. "...I'll go get him"

"(Name)-san!" You hear someone call out to you, turning around, you see Atsumu waving his hand at you. 

"Atsumu-san," You say as a greeting, waving in return. "I forgot you were also at the volleyball club"

"Huh? Then why're you here?"

"Oh, I'm here for Rin-" You squeak as a ball hits Atsumu at the back of his head, still taken aback, a hand wraps around your wrist dragging you outside the gym. Sharply turning a corner, you bump your head on their back as they halt. Without facing you, Suna asks you, irritation dripping in his tone.

"Why are you here? _"_

"You've been avoiding me the whole week!" You shot back in return.

"Because you're confusing me!! I thought we agreed on "no feelings" but you're here doing things you shouldn't be doing. And-!! And you're making me doubt myself!" Suna pulls at his hair to convey the maddening confusion he had been going through.

"Why? Do you want to continue on "no feelings"? Is that it? Are you so repulsed by my feelings that you ignore me for weeks with no explanation!?" You push Suna backward, livid at him. " _Do you hate me that much!?_ "

"Wai-wha? No-"

"You're always going on about how I'm "confusing you".Well, since you have the common sense of a toddler. _Let me fucking spell it out for you_. I LIKE YOU AND IF YOU DON'T STOP AVOIDING ME I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU"You pant, throat scratchy from screaming. You calm yourself down. Remembering the breathing exercises you've watched on youtube. You summon all your patience. You exhale, composing yourself. " _I like you, it's not that complicated. It's actually pretty simple"_

"Oh"

"' _Oh'?_ Is that all you're going to say?"

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say"

"This is the part where you say you like me too"

"What if I don't want to say it?"

"That's not a choice"

Suna flushes, turning a tomato red. ' _God, this is so embarrassing.'_ Can't he just send tell you telepathically that he liked you too? "Can I just kiss you instead?"

Your cheeks bloom a pretty pink, all courage disappearing. You bury your head on the palms of your hand, before nodding shyly. His lips were on yours in an instant, teeth clashing with each other. Noses getting in the way. It wasn't your first kiss with him but both of you acted like it was. Both of you were a bit more hurried, a little more hesitant, and more desperate. You felt your own lips curl into a smile against him, sighing in relief. 

_'You can work with this'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: i need holy water lmao. even if it was just for a tiny bit i wrote sexy times for the first time. may i be forgiven lol


	25. weak. sakusa kiyoomi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sakusa being...sakusa

[weak by swv [original] spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/71EHOyEOhNx1SzTebRRyng?si=t0XgXjfzSGyFBopcNP3b4A)

[weak by jojo (2018) spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/4YZaLNrZgiEztlf4TLMJuD?si=HC_PJCd1R8CvbGsV3zUK1w)

* * *

**_"i don't know what it is that you've done to me_ **

**_but it's caused me to act in such a crazy way"_ **

* * *

Sakusa's face pulls into a disgusted expression, denial in bold capital letters written in his face. Utter rejection at the idea that his cousin presented. Sakusa could only shake his head at the nonsense Motoya was saying, "That's disgusting"

Motoya face-palms at his cousin, exasperated. "How else would you label what you've just told me?"

"Hate? An enemy from my past life?"

Motoya was about to combust, his blood level raising. " _You don't wanna kiss people you hate!_ "

The outside hitter hums as if contemplating, "If you hate someone, you'd want something bad to happen to them. Maybe that's why I want to kiss her...So, the possibility of her getting sick increases"

May the Lord have mercy on him, Motoya was just about to faint.

* * *

**_"whatever it is that you do when you do what you're doing_ **

**_it's a feeling that i want to stay"_ **

* * *

"Did I get it right?" Sakusa just nods, dazed, a word not processing in his brain (He finds himself distracted too much with you, it might be because he was plotting his revenge for something you did in your past life and _definitely not_ because you had a pretty face). You went back to answering your homework, your pencil scratching against paper. The paper having a few holes due to your repeated erasures, showing your rashness. It has been a few months since he had started tutoring you. It surprised him when you had asked for his help, after all, you were older than him. He had seen you a couple of times before with Iizuna-san who was your childhood friend. You had a lot of friends, your good company and ability to make anyone laugh was a talent on its own. You had an infectious smile and a sunny disposition. The complete opposite of Sakusa, he could only wonder why he likes you. 

_....likes?_

' _Oh, no'_ This was bad. Sakusa's eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets, that couldn't be right. He did not like you and no, inner Komori, he's not _in denial_ because that would imply he was denying something. Sakusa glances at your eyebrows scrunched with frustration and he barely holds back a chuckle because _shit that's adorable_ and now, he really knows he's fucked. Why did his subconscious choose now of all times to give him a world-changing revelation? Sakusa didn't even think he had the ability to like a human being due to his phobia of germs and bacteria. You weren't dirty but you weren't neat either. Hygienically speaking, you were clean but you were so messy with your things, sometimes he felt like he was having a heart attack. Why don't you wear your blazer instead of putting it around your waist? Why was your bag so full of scratch paper and useless things? Why are you always losing your possessions? Why won't you sit still? Both of you were so incompatible that he wonders how he has to manage when you both start living together. ' _Were you one of those people who thinks couples should share the same toothbrush?_ ' He felt like panicking, what was he supposed to do when that happens? Can he leave you? What if he doesn't want to leave you? Sakusa was sweating profusely (internally), making solutions for imaginary problems that were never going to happen. Can he backtrack? Rewind? He would like to go back in time and punch the shit out of his past self before his past self could realize his past self was holding more feelings for you than what was considered platonic.

* * *

**_"'cause my heart starts beating triple time_ **

**_with thoughts of loving you on my mind "_ **

* * *

By this time, he was usually diligently taking down notes. Listening to the teacher and judging his classmates but currently, he was looking out the window like an anime protagonist in a shoujo manga. He even had his chin on his palm and everything. He had been staring blankly outside, so different from his usual 'glare at everybody who looks at me' attitude. The teacher started worrying when class started and someone bumped into his star student, instead of staring daggers he just nodded and even said an ' _I'm fine'_ (the teacher was pretty sure, it was the first time he had heard Sakusa speak). 

While his teacher was having a crisis, Sakusa wonders about you. He'd like to know how your day went, you can even lean on him if you're having problems. Maybe he'd hug you to give you comfort or hold your hands. Maybe give you a kiss or two. Or you could give him a kiss or two. Hopefully, you brush your teeth consistently (He's still worrying if you would ask him to share a toothbrush, Sakusa prays you won't because that's a dealbreaker). He packs up his things to go to lunch.

"Kiyoomi!" Your voice bounces off the wall, bouncing into Sakusa's view. "Wanna go to lunch with me?"

"Ha?" His face pulls back into a confused expression, _weren't you always surrounded by your friends?_ You shove a piece of paper into him. Still confused, he analyzed the paper. It was the test he reviewed with you, yesterday. Nowhere near a perfect score but far away from a failing grade. Pride blooms into his chest, proud of you for being able to pass a subject you were struggling with. "...Good enough"

"What do you mean 'good enough'? I did amazing! Let's go, I'll treat you to lunch" You hook your arms together and drag him to the cafeteria, you were basically hugging his arm. He could hear his heart pounding and his neck, face, and ears turning red. Thank goodness, he had a face mask on. 

You took him to an empty table and grabbed a packet of wet wipes and wiped the chair and table. "Here, sit down" You pointed to the spot, you just wiped down a chair for him. He felt a little bit hazy and _oh my gosh he likes you so much why are you doing this to my heart._ "I usually just wipe the eating utensils but since I know you don't like dirt, I cleaned the chair for you" You gave him a smile, your eyes crinkling and disappearing into half-moons before leaving to grab food for the both of you. Someone took his ability to inhale and stabbed him in the chest multiple times. Sakusa breathes in and out to calm himself because by now, there was a drum in his ears that overpowers the loud chatter of the cafeteria. Someone also seemed to have dumped a bucket of red paint on Sakusa, his ears to the tip of his toes turning red. He sits down, unsteadily. Trying to grab a hold of himself.

' _Calm down, Sakusa. Be calm'_ He really needs to calm down. 

* * *

**" i can't figure out just what to do**

**when the cause and cure is you"**

* * *

"No!" Motoya screams horrified, "You can't ask her that!"

Motoya felt the unshed tears on his cheeks due to his cousin's terrifying idea. His cousin was going to ruin his own love life before it can even start. He thought it would be easy sailing by now since he realized his feelings but no, he wanted to ask her weird questions about her personal hygiene. 

"How am I supposed to make sure she won't ask me to share a toothbrush with her?" The obsession with this question will never end.

"You-YOU-uggh" Motoya slumps, sighing. He doesn't care anymore, his cousin can marry a hand sanitizer for all he cared. 

"What are my cute kouhais talking about?"

"Iizuna-senpai!" Motoya exclaims, the urge to spill Sakusa's crush for advice on the verge of his lips before getting hit in the face by a bottle of alcohol. Komori curses at the pain, Sakusa's deadly glare adding to his sorrow. ' _I'm trying to help you and this is what you do to me!?'_

_"_ Now, now. Sakusa, this isn't a good time to try and kill our libero" Komori humphs like a spoiled child that had his parent take his side. Sakusa just continues to glare making sure that his captain is now also on the receiving side. Used to him, the setter only chuckles. "You look scary like that, Sakusa, no one's going to like you"

"I told you! You're going to end up scaring her away" Komori Motoya, Kiyoomi's unofficial mother, chastises him.

"'Her'?" Iizuna says tilting his head. Motoya stiffens up alarmed and Sakusa looking like he's already visualizing the 101 ways he's going to kill his cousin. Their captain 'oohs' like a child, "Who's the unlu- I mean, lucky girl"

"..." 

They couldn't really say that their ace was in love with their captain's best friend. Iizuna raises an eyebrow at their silence and nervous stares at the wall and ceiling. Iizuna rubs his chin in fake thought, "Wait, lemme guess. You like (name), don't you?" Sakusa winces, _was it obvious?_

As if hearing Sakusa's unspoken question, the setter answers. "You're always glaring at her. I almost thought you hate her but I know you better than that" Sakusa felt _touched_. 

Iizuna continued and said, "After all, I know better than anyone else how emotionally constipated you are" Sakusa takes it back.

Sakusa deadpans and 'tch' at him, turning his face to the side like a petulant child. 

"Do you have any advice for Sakusa, senpai?"

"Hmm, just do it"

' _What is this Nike?'_

"Don't look at me like that, Sakusa!" Their captain glares. "Just grab her face and kiss her! Don't think about it. Just do it!" 

"Stop looking at me with a disgusted expression!!"

* * *

**_"i get so weak in the knees_ **

**_i can hardly speak_ **

**_i lose all control_ **

**_and something takes over me_ ** **_"_ **

* * *

' _Just do it'_ He was tutoring you in the confines of your room. His face mask was discarded somewhere, his hands were slightly shaking. Trembling from anxiety and anticipation, he didn't want to think about how you'd react. He brushed his teeth, flossed, mouthwash. The whole charade to prepare himself to put his lips on yours. He sees you mouthing his name, wide eyes boring into his. He was going to faint, he was feeling light-headed as he grabs your shoulder and ready himself. 

* * *

**_"_ ** **_in a daze, your love's so amazing_ **

**_it's not a phase_ **

**_i want you to stay with me_ **

**_by my side, i swallow my pride_ ** **_"_ **

* * *

He slowly gets closer and closer, the world stops and time slows. Every second stretches into eternity, he notices every small detail. The shock on your face, the surprise, and the intensity that glimmers in your eyes. He sees your pink lips, a perfect shade of nude pink that he had never seen on anyone else, redder in some spots due to your lip-peeling. The alarming rise in your eyebrows.

He feels his face freezing due to nerves, a chant of ' _Just do it'_ echoing in his head. He noted that that the echoes sounded way too much like his captain. He just hoped that he had an attractive expression on his face and not one that looks like he was about to audition for a horror movie. He notices the whiteness of your teeth and he thinks you must take care of your teeth but he also remembered from his dentist that it wasn't too good if teeth were too white. He wonders if you knew over-brushing your teeth was bad for you and wait-

' _toothbrush?'_

Sakusa halts midway, centimeters apart from your lips. He pulls back, hands still firmly on your shoulder. "Are you going to make me share a toothbrush with you?"

"...What!? No!" Sakusa exhales a breath of relief and _kamisama_ , he felt the weight of the world lift from his shoulder. He almost felt like crying in happiness. His night terrors would be put to rest. "Soooo, are you going to kiss me or what?"

He snaps from his stupor and nods, "Yes, I'm going to kiss you now" He really was about to kiss you when-

"How'd you know I was planning to kiss you!?" 

"You took forever even coming near to my face!" 

So that wasn't the world going into slow-mo and just him? You throw your head back, grabbing your hair as your grunt in frustration. You decide you can't wait anymore and you grab your face into his lips and bring his lips to yours. ' _Finally'_

* * *

**_"your love is so sweet_ **

**_it knocks me right off of my feet_ ** **_"_ **

* * *

Red roses bloom in Sakusa's cheek as goosebumps erupt in his skin. Any thought of shared toothbrushes was thrown out the window, any thought aside from this moment erased. The first time where he can just focus on one thing, you. Happiness grows in his chest, the soothing warmth sending tingles up his spine. Thank goodness, he was sitting down or he might just fall to the ground. His knees were trembling and so were his hands. Someone, please press pause, he'd like to stay in this moment forever. Like a monster, satisfaction swallows him whole. He didn't know anything or anyone was capable of giving him immeasurable joy, just from a simple kiss.

He hopes you'd take care of the heart that was in your hands. Sakusa doesn't give it away easily. He wished you'd handle it with the utmost care, and know that he'd love you for centuries. Sakusa didn't love many things but he loved you and he loved you _a lot_. By the way your lips o his stretches into a content smile, he knew he handed it to the right person.

* * *

_**"can't explain why your love, it makes me weak"** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: it took me such a long time to decide how to end this, for a week i just kept writing and re-writing. this is one of my favorite love songs next to so slow
> 
> don't hate me but i recently started liking the osamu and akaashi ship and omg that ship came out from nowhere but now there is no going back. 


	26. the king. kageyama tobio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kageyama being zaddy

[the king by conan gray spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/54GASuUdLbhhdyECNUp3Pb?si=kSu6FcLbS7Wkc3hCDdmO6w)

[the king by conan gray lyric video ver](https://youtu.be/BqlV7oQhVmw)

For [Ugly SkatEr GiRl](https://www.quotev.com/eijirokirishimaUA). Don't think I forgot your request😝

* * *

"KAGEYAMA!!" The deafening screams of the Stupiditrio composed by Hinata, Tanaka, and Nishinoya was heard. Not giving Kageyama any time to react as they pounce on him. Nishinoya repeatedly punches his side as his eyes squint in jealousy, "Why do you have a sexy hot pretty girl looking for you!? AGHghGG so unfair!" 

"You're growing up way too fast, you bastard!" Tanaka rubs Kageyama's head, aggressively. By this point, Kageyama's ears were bleeding by the sheer volume of their combined voices. Hinata's high-pitched voice remarks "But senpais! She's wearing a Seijoh uniform! What if she's just here to seduce Kageyama and lure him then tie him up and beat him 'till he tells her our techniques" 

A lightning bolt flashes above the trio's head, suddenly quieting down. Tanaka rubs his chin, "That's right! There is no way Kageyama is able to catch a woman's eyes" Kageyama scrunches his eyebrows at their 180, complimenting him then suddenly insulting him. Nishinoya nods in agreement, "True. Kageyama is way too dense" Kageyama rolls his eyes at them, he looks above their head to see you by the gym's doorway, a happy flying feeling flutters in Kageyama's heart at the sight of you. Conversing with the third-years, an easygoing aura surrounds you, your small smiles turning Sugawara to a tomato. The black-haired setter sighs, he walks toward you, ignoring the three people who were still debating over your presence. "Oh! Kageyama, she was looking for you" 

You haven't seen Kageyama for two years or so, a warm feeling spreads as your eyes meet his blue ones but the sweet moment faded as your soft eyes turn to furious glares, "...you are so dead" 

* * *

**_"i'm the only one that you think of at night_ **

**_baby, don't lie"_ **

* * *

Your head was now Kageyama's lap as he drinks his milk with one hand and brush through your locks with the other, you were sort of putting yourself at risk of dying by drinking while lying down but you don't really find it in yourself to move. It was too comfortable. "You shouldn't drink lying down" You snort, "Shut up, you're not my daddy"

"I could be"

YOu choke. You're dying and this is it. You pounded your chests with your fist to calm down, your head swivels to his. "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? You used to be so innocent, my widdle baby Tobio" Kageyama sighs, exasperated. You guess it would have been weirder if he didn't make dirty age considering his age, you used to crack those types of jokes when you were younger and still do. What was unusual was he had the confidence to say that to you, where was the blushing stuttering nervous mess that used to be your Tobio? Who took him? Who replaced him this? Is it because he didn't think of you as a girl? Was that it? That would be horrible! Kageyama notices your inner conflict and flicks your head, "It was a joke. Don't think too much" 

"Why are you wearing a Seijoh uniform? Didn't you used to go to Shiratorizawa before you moved?" You reposition yourself to prevent anymore choking although you wouldn't mind if it was under different circumstances, you sit beside Tobio. Your right leg touches his left, no space in between, your hook your right arm with his and lean your head on his shoulder. He grew a lot very different from when you last saw him during your second year. You should have known he hadn't gone to Aoba Johsai, not when the people who humiliated him went there but you had hoped. Hoped that you would be able to see him. You felt your eyes prickling at the thought of not being there for him when he needed you the most. "For starters, uhh, my intellectual capabilities were too great that Shiratorizawa wouldn't be able to contain it." 

Kageyama nods his head, "I understand. You failed the entrance exam didn't you?" Red crept up your neck to the tip of your ears, your cheeks heating up. "That's not true!"

"But wasn't there another school that's second to Shiratorizawa in terms of academics?"

"There is but I just thought...there was a greater chance of seeing you if I went to Seijoh" It was Kageyama's turn to turn red. A full-blown cherry red face that rivals Hinata's. "There was a chance you would've gone to Shiratorizawa but you would've failed the exam and I'm pretty sure Coach Washijou wouldn't have scouted you after what happened in your last year—no offense— that meant Aoba Johsai was the only choice. But it wasn't. I should've asked you first but I wanted to surprise you but that failed. It so disappointing" You were disappointed at yourself that the weight of what happened was heavier than you had thought, you didn't think it was that bad that he'd pass up playing with a powerhouse school.

Kageyama didn't really hear the last statements, his hands buried in his heads, ' _she saw that match!?'_. You notice his distress, and held his wrists in your hands and gently pulled it away from his face. Your eyes were pulled down as if it was you who was hurt when he was abandoned by his teammates. As if it physically pained you that you weren't there for him " _Tobio, did it hurt?_ " 

_Oh no,_ Tobio felt like crying. He likes you way too much. 

* * *

**_"you're always talking to me like you're totally bothered_ **

**_so why you always ring at the end of my line"_ **

* * *

Even if both of you were from different schools with different schedules, you and Tobio had managed to squeeze in time for each other every week. You'd hang out in his house under the pretense of studying then end up watching movies and even cooking dinner for him. It was rare but he especially held it near his heart when you'd show up near the end of training to walk or just watch over him practice his serves or sets. The only bad thing when you stayed over for after-practice was that you got close with Hinata. He glares at Hinata who was chatting your ear off as he walked a few steps behind you and the human tangerine. "—en Kageyama was like 'aasdfgkjl'—" Kagayam zoned out, not caring about Hinata's most probably over-exaggerated story about him. 

' _Wait..him!?'_

He steps in between you and the wannabe ace putting his palm over Hinata's big mouth then pushing him away, grabbing your wrist and dragging you away from the dwarf. Throwing a half-assed threat about not tossing to him if he followed and hearing an "Unfair!" in return. You dig your heels before snatching your arm away from him. "I wanted to hear what Hinata was going to say!" You stomp towards the direction of the orange-haired boy and Kageyama looks at you for a few seconds before continuing his walk, not bothered to chase after you. He knew you'd be back. He counts up to 5 seconds.

_5_

_4_

_3_

_2_

_1_

"—Tobio! Aren't you going to follow me at all?"

* * *

**_"babes always flirting away, getting every other number_ **

**_and you can have your fun 'cause i know that its fake_ **

**_i know when you're done you'll come running my away_ **

**_so i let you"_ **

* * *

It was a Monday and a group of students loitering near the gate that wasn't usually there had Kageyama's eyebrow's raising, he continued to head towards the gym then he heard words like "Seijoh", "pretty", and "hot" from a couple of people he recognized were his classmates that were also heading towards the gate which got Kageyama's eyebrows flying away. The sight of you surrounded by heart-eyed boys got Kageyama semi-running. "(name)-senpai. What are you doing here" The crowd erupted in whispers of how he knew you. You only usually showed up after practice or in his house and not when classes ended. "Well, Seijoh's volleyball club don't have practice today. So, I thought I'd come over and see you. Wait a minute though—" You scribble something on one of the soccer team's star player's arm and mouth something like 'call me' before hooking your arms with his and dragging him away. Kageyama narrows his eyes at the boy's dazed out expression. 

You greet the others then fall into conversation with Kiyoko while Nishinoya and Tanaka gushed at the side. He felt a tap on his shoulder. He turns to see Hinata whisper shouting— "Bakegayama!" which was like a normal shout. He brings down Kageyama so they'd be eye level, Hinata covers the side of his mouth in a 'whisper' motion. "Are you sad?" Kageyama narrows his eyes this time in confusion.

Hinata continues, "I also saw her giving her number to a guy. I know you like her so don't be too sad. Someday she might like you back" then pats his back and gave him a thumbs up. The Karasuno setter slaps the back of Hinata's head, the sound snaps throughout the gym, " _Baka_ , I don't care"

Hinata who already moved on from that hit suddenly made a sad face and was that _pity?_ "Kageyama, it's okay. You don't have to pretend"

He face-palms, an exasperated sigh from the depth of his soul left his mouth. He bends down to get a stray volleyball on the floor, spinning it in his hands.

" _Boke,_ I really don't care."

Kageyama tosses the ball high, eyes still on the ball as he took three big steps then jumping then

**BAM!**

The ball lands at the very back corner of the opposite side, an undeniable service ace. He turns back to Hinata, who was still looking intently at him, "I know she's not going anywhere with any of them anyway"

* * *

**_"date everyone and complain that you can't find a lover_ **

**_'cause i'm the only one when the chemistry fades_ **

**_i'm the only one at the end of the day_ **

**_kinda cliché"_ **

* * *

You stare at the mirror. You wonder what you should do with your hair, tie it up or let it down? Pink or red lip tint? What to wear, jeans or skirts? You were in the middle of your routine of skincare, lotion, and staring at your reflection for 15 minutes when you went to meet up with Tobio, always putting your 120% effort in looking the best. For him. Because as sappy as it was you wanted to look good for him. You wonder when your obvious pining will end, ever since you were a child you were already tailing behind Tobio and you wondered if that was the reason he was always confident you stay by his side. You couldn't deny it though. You'd _always_ be by his side. When both of you were little, you'd always defend Tobio in a fight before even knowing what happened because you just had that absolute trust in him. Sometimes, Tobio himself had to explain to you that he was in the wrong and _no, don't get mad at them anymore please, it was me who didn't notice it wasn't my milk box._ You exhale as you walk towards Tobio and wonder when he'd stop and notice. ' _Would he ever notice?'_

You recalled your dates with different guys. You went out with that soccer player in Tobio's school, another guy you found extremely hot that had a really sexy tongue piercing, and even a guy from Shiratorizawa's volleyball team that you haven't met in your middle school days managing their team but none of them could take your heart away from the dunce face named 'Kageyama Tobio'. You knock on his door and a few seconds later, the door opens and your smile widens as you throw your arms around him. "Tobio! Carry me to the couch!"

He winces before lifting you up and plopping you into the couch, you almost felt like hitting him because he made it seem like you were the heaviest thing he ever had to carry. "Tobio did you know that I went on dates?"

He grunts, showing you he was listening, his back facing you as he sets up the DVD player. "But they were so boring Tobio! One was bragging about how many girls were into him and acting as if I was supposed to be excited about it, another was trying too hard to act cool and acting like a total fuckboy then the other one, I have to say he was decent and reminded me of you, but he ended up stuttering way too much and wouldn't look at me then he ran away and left me in the cafe! Could you believe that?" He hums, not really caring and you continue your delightful conversation with a brick wall, "It's horrible! I'm never getting a boyfriend. If only there were someone out there who'd ask me out" You pout.

"Sure," Tobio holds out a cd in each hand and asks "Horror or action?"

Your jaw drops because you were sure you were being so obvious already. _Doesn't he care at all?_

Kageyama nods at your nonexistent reply," Action then"

Does he really not care? Maybe you were being too sure about yourself. You'd always thought that he had liked you back. Now, that you think about it he had never really shown you any romantic interest in any way. For all you knew, he could be thinking of you as a big sister figure. You tug at his sleeves, "Don't you care that other people want to date me?"

"I don't"

_oh_ , you shouldn't have been too sure. He doesn't care. You choke back a sob, "You also don't care if I date other people?"

"Correct"

"Is it because you don't like me?" 

"But I do."

_oh,_ you should've known— _huh?_ You stare up at Tobio, your eyes widening exponentially. "Y-you do?" He nods, firmly. "Then why don't you care those other people like me?" 

"Because I know you'd always be right back"

"hah?" You stare at him like a dead fish. He couldn't hold back a little smirk because he was just _a teeny tiny tad bit_ confident you'd always come running back to him. He knows because he always does the same. Remembering the times when he'd chase after you when your other friends took you away to play with them, when the other boys had a grade 2 crush on you, and when you ran away from him just to tease him. When you moved away that he almost when after you. He lets you go on those dates because he knew you won't allow them to even think of kissing you. He watched you go-'round in circles dating other guys, knowing full well that at the end of the day you'd end up with your arms around him. He smiles stupidly, 'cause honestly, he was just as whipped as you, "I love you"

He sees you turning pink, biting your lips, trying not to cry. You throw your arms around him and bury your head at the crook of his neck. You let yourself sink into his arms. But as touching as that moment was, you pulled back, tilting your head to ask, "How did you know I like you?"

He lists off every incident ever since childhood, rasing one finger for each one. "You used to propose to me back when I was still in grade 1. When you told the people who stole my volleyball, 'Get away from my husband'. Also when we were in middle school and you scared away the person who confessed to me and another time when I heard you saying you were engaged to the person who confessed to you back in your second year—" You slap a palm on his mouth, looking alarmed, ' _he heard that??'._ You were panicking trying to remember what else he might've heard because, _kamisama,_ you knew you did more than that. Kageyama pulls down your hands that were slapped on his mouth then tucking a stray strand behind your ear. Looking down on Tobio, his eyes glittering. Your shoulders relaxing and melting into his embrace because _damn did this feel right_. His arms tighten around you and in his mind he was chanting the same five words because _fuck 'I like you so much'._

* * *

**_"you see me as your lifeline_ **

**_other boys and girls never really made you feel right_ **

**_and you can't explain why i'm always running your mind_ **

**_don't you see the answer's right in front of your eyes?_ **

**_you like me,oh, obviously_ **

**_so why you trying to leave when you know that i'm the king?"_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: Semi-important information- This was an actual idea for a fanfiction I was going to make but I'm currently writing this and my other story, villain. I already find it slightly difficult to make sure I'm updating two books and I'm not sure if I can take a third one. I mean I could wait until I finish my hxh book then start this one but I'd really like to see it come to fruition. 
> 
> I thought of looking for a co-author for this one, so that it can make things easier but I don't really know and close to any authors so maybe not. I'm going to put this up for grabs. Please read the next chapter I'm going to update because that would be part two of this story. If you read the next chapter and liked the general plot, ask me and I'd give it to you.


	27. heather. oikawa tooru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ouch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the other part of "the king" chap

[heather by conan gray lyrics ver](https://youtu.be/GPUg7n8-M6o)

[heather by conan gray spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/4xqrdfXkTW4T0RauPLv3WA?si=wWLLzry_QfK3eyEDFLn2ew)

* * *

"Gather up! We have a new manager" Some exclamations of confusion and excitement were heard. The only voice of rational thought, Iwaizumi, asks the coach. "But sir, I thought we won't accept managers?"

The only people who wanted the manager position were always Oikawa's loud, _loud_ fans. They only served as a distraction instead of a helping hand. It was even specifically Oikawa that asked the coach not to allow any managers. The volleyball team gathers in a semi-circle around the couch to hear his explanation. "I told her the same thing but don't worry, she has experience in managing a volleyball team. I'll allow her to introduce herself when she comes. She's currently getting her uniform as the volleyball manager with Mizoguchi, she should be here any minute now" Coach Irihata glances at his watch, and as if on cue, their co-coach Mizoguchi appears. Their new manager's head can be seen behind their other coach's shoulder and most of the Seijoh volleyball team was already dying of curiosity. Their co-coach moves to the side and heat rise to the cheeks of many. They take in your soft features, delicate looks, and pink lips. You bow in front of them, sending them a smile. The members had mixed emotions. Obviously, they liked you, they wanted you to be their manager, no one would turn someone so pretty away. Although, there was one problem: Oikawa. What if you fall for the shitty-face they have as a captain? In fact, it was almost inevitable that you'd end up liking him. Almost every girl did. 

" _Hajimemashite._ My name is (last name) (name), I'm a second year. I transferred here from Hyōgo. The coach might have mentioned it to you already but I have experience in managing a volleyball team. I managed the Shiratorizawa volleyball team back in my first and second year in junior high while I managed the Inarazaki volleyball team back in my third year of junior high until the first year of high school" 

"SHIRATORIZAWA?" The member rolls their eyes at Oikawa's high-pitched scream. You scrunch your nose with distaste to his dramatics but not wanting to be rude to your "senpai", you nod. 

"ArE yOu hEre tO sPY on US?"

You sigh heavily, displeased, before turning away and following after Seijoh's coach. Wide-eyed, the Aoba Johsai volleyball club was taken aback at your treatment of Oikawa. They were silent for a moment until Iwaizumi snorts. The whole team dissolves into fits of laughter and hysterics, laughing and pointing at Oikawa. The brunette turns red with embarrassment, pride taking a hit. 

After their laughing fit, practice resumed. With a manager helping, training was more efficient. The time spent on refilling their own water bottles and getting towels was now used, for more practice. Iwaizumi notices the manager repeatedly staring at the gym door as if someone was going to enter. 

"Are you looking for someone?" You were snapped out of your reverie as Iwaizumi comes close and inquires on your lingering looks at the door. You scratch your cheek, tilting your head. "Some members aren't here"

"Everyone is here, though?"

"WHAT!?" Everyone looks at you due to your outburst, you blush, quieting down. "Sorry— is Kageyama not part of the Volleyball club?" You couldn't imagine him _not_ playing volleyball. It's impossible for him not to be here." 

"Kageyama? He doesn't go here. He's in Karasuno. We actually had a practice match with his team a week or so ago. You could've seen it, he changed a lot but— Do you know Kageyama? Why are you looking for him?" 

Iwaizumi looks at your impossibly wide eyes, shocked to the core. _Do you know Kageyama?,_ Iwaizumi thinks. You rush to the coach, stumbling and tripping. Asking for permission to leave a little earlier. 

One thought circle your mind, ' _That damn kid!'_

* * *

On the second day as Aoba Johsai's manager and the members couldn't thank _kamisama_ enough. Your helpfulness and _not fawning_ over Oikawa was much appreciated. This must be god's gift as repayment for putting up with their captain's shit. Only one person was dissatisfied, Oikawa Tooru himself. He did _not like_ you being Shiratorizawa's past manager, he huffs and pouts like a petulant child whenever you offer assistance. You just end up rolling your eyes and walking away at his bullshit which in turn offends him even more. This will continue for weeks until one night you stayed with him after practice, promising Iwaizumi to look after him. A switch flipped after that night and everyone noticed it. _Oikawa Tooru turning to a blushing, stuttering mess every time you come close._ It amused them to no doubt, their captain, the "cool and suave" character who turns girls into a puddle was turning one himself. 

_The only sound was the repeating cycle of a ball hitting the floor, four heavy steps, and a loud bam. You gather the volleyball on the other side of the court then bringing it to him. You watch his polished motions. You see hard work and effort with every serve and a tiny bit of respect grows in you. You agree with whoever it was's decision to make him captain. He was everything you weren't. He pursued to be better in the thing heloved. You didn't. You just wallowed in self-despair. You used to aspire to be a volleyball player when you saw Kageyama loved the sport so much when you were in elementary. You never really got into it after the initial thrill. You've always wondered how your other teammates got so good but you were left behind. It never really occurred to you that they worked hard for it. You always had thought they got it naturally.So, you give up thinking you just weren't born for it._

_You and Kageyama had talked about his past in Kitagawa Daiichi and things you haven't known. When Tobio told you about the day Oikawa almost hit him, you had felt mad. Angry that he'd raise his hand at his kouhai. You calm yourself down in front of Tobio, you couldn't have him thinking that he won't be able to say these type of things to you because you'd be mad. Tobio continues to tell you, that it wasn't anyone's fault, that all of them were immature. You didn't buy that shit but you keep it to yourself. You had been wanting to confront Oikawa but you haven't done what you were supposed to do, you were swept by the literal embodiment of "hard work" Oikawa represents. You sort of understand him now. You could relate and understand now. If you were in his shoes, you'd probably feel shitty yourself. It doesn't justify him getting mad at Tobio but having a reason humanizes him. You realized that._

_"Are you having fun?" You glance at Oikawa who was staring hard at the ceiling._

_"Huh?" Your eyebrows scrunch because...what?_

_He stops staring at the ceiling and glares at you, "Maybe the other people don't notice but I do. You know, I saw you with your friends the other day? You were laughing and smiling that I honestly thought I was seeing someone else because when you're with us, you're closed off. You don't want to talk aside from volleyball and you're cold. The only time you smiled was when you first saw us then, then_ — _you stopped. As if you were disappointed with our team. You think I don't notice you flinching every time Kindaichi, Kunimi, Iwa-chan, and I talk to you? You never come when we invite you to hang-out or when I treat everyone. As if you're drawing a line. As if you don't want to get close. As if you despise us. As if we're gum stuck under your shoe that you couldn't get rid of. You're probably laughing at us as we train. You probably think we were the team who couldn't win against Shiratorizawa, "How stupid of them, thinking they can beat us". So, I'm asking **are you having fun looking down on me**!?"_

_Oikawa breathes heavily, after spilling the culmination of his frustration. During the duration of him talking, you never broke eye contact. You step closer towards him. You don't want him to think that. A small grudge over what happened years ago was in your heart but you couldn't let that affect your role as a manager. They made a mistake, so did Tobio. You were mature enough to understand that. This team was everything you were not, you couldn't bring them down or it will eat your heart out. "Oikawa. Tooru-senpai...may I call you that? Tooru-senpai, I admit I've been distancing myself from the team but not because of the reason you're thinking. I've been holding myself back because of something and the same something told me there's more than one side of the story. I can't help it if I still am partial to his side but I can't just disregard everyone else's."_

_You continue, "You know, I'm amazed at the effort you put in? You work so hard. Perfecting your serves, helping your teammates and giving them tips and advice. I see it every day as your manager and as your manager, I'd like to be there. I think you deserve it. Plus, seeing you being so dedicated to your art_ —" _You smile, your eyes turning to half-moons "it's kind of cool"_

_Oikawa cheek's heated up, a rosy blush spreading. His pupils dilating, the first part sort of got lost on him, the last statement echoing around his mind. You thought he was cool? That he worked hard? You think he deserved to win? His heart thumps loudly. Oikawa can pick-up people's emotions, he's good with working with others because he could tell what they liked, what they're like, and what ticked them off. He notices the tell-tale signs of a liar and knows the warmth of a sincere person._

_Here you were, a sincere person. Sincerely telling him he deserved to win because he worked hard._

_He was honestly okay with whatever it was he was doing and how he was working. He was okay with the silent support his friends gave but damn, he never knew how good it felt to be recognized by someone else. To have someone say it out loud. His heart soars as he thinks, 'maybe you weren't so bad after all'_

Training had ended. Oikawa calls out to invite you, "Wanna come with us? A shop selling Mizu yokan opened down the street". Iwaizumi karate chops the back of Oikawa's head, hissing, "Baka, she's not going to come"

You grab your bag and your things, putting your arms through your backpack's straps. You send them a small smile, "If you'd have me"

Some excited squeaks and 'yes' were heard while the other blush. Iwaizumi side-eyes Oikawa who had a big grin on his face like a giddy seven-year-old, eyes sparkling at you. His ear a shade of red he had never seen.

  
  
Iwaizumi knew one thing: Oikawa was fuckedand it was not good.

* * *

Iwaizumi sort of pieced together who you were and why you were here. The moment you brought up Kageyama, Iwaizumi knew something was up but he didn't really think about it too much until he saw you walking with Kageyama in a sports store, furtive touches and coy eyes as you look up to him was everything Iwaizumi needed to see to _know_ there's more there than what you were showing. It doesn't help that Kageyama had this sense of confidence and maturity when he was with you, that he almost did a double-take. _'Was that the Kageyama who was emotionally constipated child?'_

Iwaizumi thinks Kageyama showed a side to you he never showed to anyone as if you were the only one who can see him as a man. Someone to depend on. Honestly, he had a hint of pride and respect towards Kageyama for wanting to be dependable with you. You and Kageyama were a perfect couple, Iwaizumi would like to congratulate both of you but there was one problem. Oikawa's never-ending stare and blush as you walk in front of him with the other third-years. This was bad. Really bad. He's lying if he said his best friend wasn't in for a world of hurt.

The team enters the shop, it also worked as a cafe. You can eat your Mizu yokan with coffee. It was homey with mainly wooden furniture. Wooden floors and wooden ceilings. Gave out traditional Japanese aesthetics, simple and beautiful. Orders were placed and the team occupied two tables, team splitting off with their friend groups. First years and second years mainly sticking with each other. You had stayed with the third-years delving into a heated discussion with Hanamaki and Matsukawa about a topic Iwaizumi has no idea about. Oikawa looks at you enraptured even if he was just like Iwaizumi who had no idea what the topic is about and Iwaizumi's thoughts were basically confirmed, _Oikawa is fucked and it is not good_

* * *

You and Oikawa walk side by side quietly as he wouldn't let you walk home on your own. The whispers of the cold winds breezed by, the only sound was the rare passing of a car. It wasn't uncomfortable and you'd be alright to not talk but you find yourself breaking the silence. You want to talk, know more about your unexpected friend. A respected senpai. 

"What would you be doing in the future?" You ask quietly, you had wondered what his future plans were. Obviously volleyball but would he play college volleyball? Go straight pro? Stay in Japan? Go to another country?

Oikawa squawks, indignantly. "Why? Do you think I won't be playing volleyball?"

You chuckle, "Of course you'd be playing volleyball. I meant would you go pro immediately?" 

"It's nice you think I have a chance to immediately go pro," a small smile graces on Oikawa's lips then fading to a frown. "At least you think I can go pro"

"Who doesn't think you'd go pro??" He was touched you think him going for pro was a certainty. It was nice that you had faith he could make it.

"My family does"

A somber silence befalls both of you. You notice that this was probably something Oikawa was keeping to himself and have been plaguing his mind. You nudge him a little with your shoulder. "Hey...I think you're amazing. You work hard and you're a good captain. We have nationals to show the world-" you point to yourself "Also, you have me as a manager. I'll be there"

You notice Oikawa's arm lifting and reaching towards you before stopping mid-way then falling down. His fists clench and un-clench. Before sighing, flicking your head then turning around. Leaving you. Your voice pitches as you whine at the treatment before laughing loudly, running up to catch to him. His ears were as red as cherries. You shake it off to the weather, you always had been numb to the cold. 

"Hey, wait!" You grab Oikawa's backpack before he could walk off further. You take off your scarf before putting it around him. Wrapping it around his neck once, twice, thrice until only his noes upwards were visible. "Wouldn't want Seijoh's best setter getting sick"

You tilt your head as his whole face turn redder, confused, _why was he even colder?_

* * *

"Hey! (name)-chan, you never told us your SNS." Hanamaki was huddled with Matsukawa, Iwaizumi, and Oikawa to the side. You walk towards them sitting in their semi-circle. "it's @(name)"

"What?? That's so boring! You should make like a nickname or something" Hanamaki remarks.

"But I'm not good with making up usernames," you pout, and Oikawa melts. Gooey smile and all. Iwaizumi, Hanamaki, and Matsukawa all send Oikawa judging stares. You stand up and dust off your skirt, "I have to go, Coach is calling"

The three peer into Hanamaki's phone to see whatever you posted. Oikawa most eager, like a hyper puppy, trying to snatch the phone. Hanamaki looks at your story and pictures of food after food come into view. Oikawa snorts with a tinge of fondness, commenting that you were a pig. Matsukawa chuckles and Hanamaki scrolls down to look at the posts. A certain picture caught Oikawa's eyes and he grabs the phone. Hanamaki about to throw a tantrum stops. Oikawa wearing a serious expression on his face staring at the phone. 

It was a picture of you in a kitchen. Warm yellow-orange light entering from the kitchen window, making the surroundings fairy and fantasy-like. A sunset behind you. It gave you a kind of glow that made you look like you didn't belong in this world. You wore a big white shirt that went to your mid-thighs, you were leaning back on a counter, sending whoever the photographer was the most gorgeous and heart-stopping smile. One that whispered loudly ' _I love you'_. A tender and gentle expression that was so delicate and beautiful. Gazing fondly at someone beyond the camera. It was an open kitchen and the photographer was probably taking it from the living room. The entire picture looked so domesticated, like a scene of a couple's evening. _Oikawa felt like he was intruding_. 

That this scene was something reserved for someone else's eyes. Someone that wasn't Oikawa. 

He felt like breaking down here and now. He'd let the tears spill out but his friends were here. Some of his kouhais were still here and he'd be _damned_ if he cries over some girl.

* * *

Iwaizumi pulls up your SNS. He'd like to see what picture got Oikawa's knickers in a twist. After whatever he saw, he exited the app and just walked away. Even leaving early that the coach's eyes fell out of their sockets. He almost wanted to ask what was wrong but Iwaizumi knew what was wrong. He knew Oikawa probably needed to cry things out and decided to give him peace. One post instantly catches his eyes and-

_'Ah'_

This was it, wasn't it? Even he felt like he was interrupting a private moment between lovers. There was no tag indicating who the person who took the picture was. He knew for certain Kageyama didn't have SNS, probably didn't know what it was. He scrolls to see any more posts.

A picture of homework on a table and it shouldn't be anything but Iwaizumi's aware enough to know that wasn't second-year homework. It was first-year math. In the corner was a volleyball and you could make an excuse for that, maybe you were reviewing and that you were a volleyball manager. Of course, you have a volleyball ball. Then he sees dumbells and he knows you're not that much of an exercise person. Anyone who was observant enough would notice it. 

_Oikawa was observant_.

He prays silently to the deities to not let Oikawa see that. Hopefully, no one would bring it up.

* * *

Aaannd someone brings it up.

"(Name)-san, do you have a boyfriend?" Oikawa stiffens up, shoulders tense, and jaws clenched. 

"No, but why?" You smirk teasingly, "Want to date me?"

Steam escapes from Kindaichi's ear as he stutters and trips over himself. "N-n-no. Yes! NO! I mean-"

You just wave him off and Iwaizumi tilts his head, ' _Huh?'_

Weren't you with Kageyama? Did Iwaizumi see wrong? But it couldn't be. The only logical explosion was you and Kageyama was dancing on the line of your feelings. Oikawa had noticeably perked up, relief sinking in his bones. Not enough to say that he was happy but enough that his obvious depression wasn't there anymore. Iwaizumi doesn't know if it was a good thing or a bad. 

The past few weeks had been normal but Oikawa's feelings grow and soon everyone was noticing it, to the point that even Kindaichi, the person who can't read the rooms, points out Oikawa was being weird around you. You didn't. Iwaizumi can't tell if you're playing dumb or _was_ just _that_ dumb. He thinks it the latter. As he gets to know you, you were sort of an airhead and a klutz. Easy to rise to obvious baits and taunts. In conclusion, aside from some quirks, everything was good. Fine. Normal. Iwaizumi really should have known that that wasn't going to last.

* * *

It was inter-highs and they were winning. Nothing about that statement should've been wrong because it's a good thing, right? _Wrong._ There was one bad thing. 

_It was against Karasuno._

Iwaizumi noticed it from set one and now it was set three and they were _this_ close to winning but you were shaking your legs, lip pursed, and keeping on sending nervous glances towards Karasuno. You couldn't sit still. No one noticed. Oikawa too focused on the setter in front of him and the coach was too busy with the team on the other side. Iwaizumi noticed it. The moment you stepped on the court, you were more fidgety and nervous. You were scared. Iwaizumi only noticed it because he had prior knowledge about your relationship with Karasuno. You were hiding it so well, only minor signals of anxiety that could be chalked up for pre-game jitters. You had less confidence in your steps and you flinch every time someone else's eyes land on you. Kageyama kept glancing in your direction every time you'd interact with the team. Even more so when you'd help Oikawa with his things or what he needed. Kageyama would full-out stare but Iwaizumi doesn't see any shock or hostility. The ace deducted that Kageyam already knew you were their manager. 

Iwaizumi slaps his cheek, hard. That it startles his teammate beside him. He needs to get himself to the game, they were set point. Kindaichi jumps up and Hinata tries to block but he spikes over him and the ball rushes toward Karasuno's court. Karasuno's libero saves it gracefully, Iwaizumi recalls what Oikawa said earlier.

_"When he was backed into a corner, there was a chance for him to strike. To the Tobio now...it was the only choice he had."_

Everything was rushing now and Iwaizumi, Kindaichi, and Kunimi all line up for a triple block. Kageyama had learned to trust, trusted, and tossed to Hinata. A move they had anticipated and it bounces off their block and it falls. _Gently and slowly_. As if everything was in slow motion. Kageyama's hand and his teammates reach out to get the ball for a chance. The last chance and the ball was right there, all they needed was to put it up but it falls on the floor with a thud. A dull thud that signified the end of Karasuno and their chance for victory. 

The team cheered and everyone rushes to each other, hugging and laughing. Screams of relief. Iwaizumi pulls back to look at you staring blankly at Kageyama's crumpled back as he was hunched over the floor. Iwaizumi sees you break a little and he'd hate it but he'd understand and allow you to go to the other side. To comfort him. He was the reason you started managing the volleyball team, anyway. Because you thought Kageyama was in their team. But you didn't. You stayed and when the group came closer you smiled. A big smile that beamed of pride. Iwaizumi's never seen Oikawa as happy as when he practically reveled in your smile. The fact that you didn't break down at their victory and your lover's loss was something Iwaizumi felt grateful for. 

"As your manager, I've seen you all dedicate hours, days, week, and months to be strong. To win. The ability to strike back against your opponents was something all of you honed. As your manager, I know you deserve this the most." You take a shaky breath and Oikawa must have noticed it because his jaws are clenched and his eyes were staring daggers at you. "...You guys were the better team. I'm glad that I had the chance managing this amazing team"

You send them another smile and this wasn't less genuine, it showed your sincerity. You wholehearted admiration for them. You chuckle sheepishly, "I sort of love you guys? I used to play volleyball and there was this one person I can't beat. I just gave up. It was so long ago, I didn't care anymore. Then I saw you guys and then I started thinking of everything I could've been but wasn't. It's so inspiring to see you guys work so hard but I accepted that I'm a manager. I'm happy that I am. I see all these amazing people and they're so in love with volleyball and it makes me happy. You guys know that, right?"

Most of the volleyball team would be touched if they listened to you. They were. It got watered down when it was obvious for the world to see, you were still staring at Karasuno's setter as he exits. Walking through the doors to go back to his bus and you whisper an "I'll be right back". You walk after him and you must've not noticed you were moving. As you trip over bags, your eyes just on his back. Your actions were hurried and your eyes were in a dazed trance. Then he sees Oikawa chasing you looking confused and hurt, like a kicked puppy questioning why his owner was leaving him, and he couldn't help but run after his best friend.

* * *

Oikawa stops steps behind you as you call out Tobio's name. You take a few instead steps toward Tobio then hurriedly trying to meet him in the middle as you wrap your arms around him, whispering comforting words. You and Tobio sink to the floor and you feel him shaking but he doesn't cry. Your tears fall and who was comforting who now but no one really cared because all you and he needed was to be with each other. Just have someone to be there. He hears you tell him, "I love you" and kiss his temple. You were the picture-perfect of sorrow and hurt.

He should've known but he didn't. He turns away, not bothering to look back. All he needed was an empty hallway. He just needed a place where you weren't there. He _needed_ to _breathe_. He sees an empty hallway but it isn't really empty because Iwaizumi is there. _Really, he shouldn't cry because his kouhais were there on the court, waiting for him to come back_. But he breaks down and he's never been this hurt before. He _really_ shouldn't be crying but damn, you _weren't just_ some girl. All of his walls crash down and he was left vulnerable. Kamisama already took away the things he wanted in volleyball. Being the best setter and being the winning team. Surely, they would have mercy and give Oikawa what he wanted in life at least. No,they also gave that to the person Oikawa hates the most. Oikawa curses the deities, if they had favorites, at least they shouldn't be so obvious about it. His heart breaks into two and he wonders if you even noticed. You seem too wrapped up in your world with Tobio. He wondered if you _even_ _cared._

He has a chance to feel betrayed and get mad at you, scream in your face. How you were fake, how everything you said might've been a lie even if he knew it wasn't but the only thing that fills up his mind was the ache in his chest. A piercing pain that rings in his ears. He slides down the wall and he hugs his knees. Rocking himself back and forth. The tears blur and he sees nothing. Everything hurts and he doesn't want to hurt anymore. He wonders if could take it if you continued to manage the volleyball team. Oikawa's world crashes down but he felt like everything was falling to pieces now.

_Of course, you were with Tobio_

_Of course, you were with the better volleyball player_

_Of course, you weren't with Seijoh's best setter. You were with the best setter_

**_Of course_ **

* * *

a/n: this is the first time i wrote something this long lmao. 4.5k words lmao. never doing this again. Didn't edit lmaoo too lazy


	28. silverado for sale. terushima yuuji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guys i've been obsessed with country music lmao what is happening to me

[silverado for sale by morgan wallen spotify ver](https://open.spotify.com/track/1AGXmKhp5H6d1B2OwZwQdQ?si=xtmxobJVRNO7jE1m-oaJRQ)

[silverado for sale by morgan wallen lyric video ver](https://youtu.be/my_lnLw4ZVs)

* * *

_"Here's a little gift for you" A man in checkered long-sleeves, curved back, and wisened voice. He throws Yuuji keys._

_Yuuji brings the keys to eye level, "What's this?"_

_"Go outside"_

_Yuuji swings the door open and lo and behold, outside was a Havana brown Chevrolet Silverado. Shiny and sleek. Unused and new. Yuuji swivels to look at his grandfather, "Are you serious?"_

_His grandfather says seriously, "Does it look like I'm joking?" before laughing warmly. Yuuji engulfs his grandfather in a hug, the father figure in his life. He doesn't know where he'd end up without him._

* * *

Yuuji's heart drops as he posts the picture of his car with a brief description and a price. Memories upon memories were piled upon on the car's worn down seats, untold stories in the small scratches at the car's exteriors, and trinkets in between the seats.

Everyone would laugh at the attachment he had with a car but the image of his grandfather was with it. The biggest role model that gave his life direction but now, he had the biggest dream that gave his life meaning. In life and everything, sacrifice and change are inevitable but letting go of something that holds the biggest part of his life will never be easy. Yuuji and the truck had been everywhere, he had used the car to drive his grandfather on scenic routes during his last days. Mountainsides and oceans, the truck had seen everything when he fulfilled his grandfather's dream of seeing more of the world when his grandfather wanted to see the things that weren't in the little town they lived. 

The truck was with him when he revisited the same places a year later, alone. It was the only one that saw Yuuji's tears that he held back from when his grandfather was being lowered to the ground. The only companion when he was at his loneliest and lowest. 

He had memories of driving around town with the most beautiful person, winds in their hair, and radio on blast. Youthful laughter and carefree smiles. His best memories in a four-wheeled mobile. 

He wasn't sure if he was ready to let all that go. If he had a chance to do this without selling his truck, he'd take it in a heartbeat. He had taken multiple jobs while waiting for a buyer, just in case he could save enough before someone made a purchase. It might be hopeful thinking but Yuuji decides it's worth a try. If someone did take interest then Yuuji might have to give up, the car was Yuuji's past but he also had the future to look forward to.

* * *

"That'll be 1708 yen" 

They hand over the amount and Yuuji gives them the change. "Thank you and please come again."

They leave the store and Yuuji takes a sigh of relief, the hunger catching up to him. Breakfast was the only thing he ate and that was almost 12 hours ago, famished was an understatement. He heaves the box with pre-made food upwards and it elicits an 'oof' from him because of the weight. He puts it down near the open refrigerator shelves. He takes a basket and puts all the expired food and replace it with new ones. Yuuji's stomach growls again and he winces at the pain, he tries to will it to go away but it doesn't disappear as wished. He opens his bag from under the counter, grabbing his wallet. 

' _I have 5,000 yen with me'_

1,000 yen was enough for noodles but that meant 1,000 less in his savings and Yuuuji doesn't think it was worth it. His head drops and he takes a moment to compose himself when a new customer comes in. He pops out from the counter and he manages a smile and a chirpy, "Welcome!"

They head toward the counter and Yuuji waits for them. He gets as far as scanning their items before grimacing when it felt like his stomach was trying to eat itself in hunger. "That'll be 500 yen"

As the customer hands him the money his stomach gurgles, "...Uuhhh"

They eye him judgementally before remarking, "You should take care of that" they turn away and head toward the exit. Yuuji cringes at the embarrassment. ' _Maybe I should eat'_

The basket of expired food catches his eye, he was ordered to throw that out by his manager. Since they didn't have any use for it, it wouldn't hurt them if it ends up in his stomach, right? He walks toward the basket before grabbing an onigiri. 

_"Yuuji, nothing in life is easy. If it was, it won't be worth living. If you were always happy then you would never really feel happiness"_

Admittedly, he didn't really understand what his grandfather said the first time. Isn't it better to always be happy? Why wouldn't you really feel happy if you were always happy? Somehow, along the way, he understood. Hardships make happiness feel the way they do. It was a concept a little difficult to wrap your mind around but it was the truth. Yuuji considers this one of those times hardships his grandfather told him about. It didn't really hurt that much when he thought about the happiness that was waiting for him.

* * *

The cycle of wash, scrub, wash, and dry was ingrained in Yuuji's mind by his 879th plate. His hands disappear underneath the tub of bubbles, his back to the chaos in the kitchen. The hustle and bustle of an izakaya was something he wasn't easily used to but after more than a month of working, he had grown comfortable with the atmosphere. He used to go here once upon a time when he was younger and reckless. It's been years since he had entered this type of place. Chatters of suit-wearing men as they enjoy time with themselves or their colleagues before heading home, some were trying to suck up to their boss as they pour drinks. 

He'd always imagine what's it like to work in an office, working late hours, stressing over papers, and having a steady salary. If his life would be easier if he was able to finish college but those questions would remain unanswered as his life walked a different path. He was grateful it was this path that he took or else he might've missed out on the biggest blessing of his life. You.

"Here, take this" 

The waiter hands Yuuji two beer glasses without even sparing him a glance or checking if Yuuji had a steady grip on it. The waiter walks away and Yuuji was left to pick up the glass that must have shattered when the waiter dropped it in the tub. He tries to scoop the bubbles out of the tub but it would've taken a thousand years, he lets his hand dive under the sea of foam, trying to feel for the shards. His hands wade through the plates, chopsticks, and shot glass. He was able to take out a couple of big shards before-

He hisses as a glass shard gashes his finger, he hurriedly retracts his hand, cradling it in his chest. Blood pours out like a waterfall. He closes his eyes as his shoulder hunches, trying not to break from the pain. He reprimands himself, trying to get a grip. He must've taken too long because the next thing he knew, he was being shoved backward by the same waiter. 

"If you aren't going to do your job properly then you better fuck off!"

In a blink of an eye, he was outside staring at nothing. His wound still bleeding like there was no tomorrow. 

"Should I go to a hospital?", he thinks out loud. But he brought no money with him, not even for food. He survived with the expired foods at his shift in the convenience store. He biked everywhere to save money. He didn't even use his beloved car because gas prices were too high... was what he'd like to believe, he knew if he kept on driving the car, he won't be able to let go.

Things were happening way too fast for him to process. 

He already walked past where he kept his bike in his dazed state. He should go home and have his wound patched up but he doesn't want to see you worrying about him. He doesn't want to go home too early when he still had a couple of hours in his shift. He was too ashamed, too scared. What would you think when he failed to keep another job? Somewhere at the back of his mind, he knew you wouldn't care a single bit, his wellbeing was enough to make you happy. At least that's what you said. But his pride won't let him. He wants to give you the life you deserve. Wants to be the man you can depend on. Was he truly the man you can depend on if he felt like breaking over a wound? He felt like a child crying over a small scar but it felt like it was more than that. When he was able to climb a wall, a hurdle in his life there was always another in front of him. It felt like it was never going to end. Every little thing was enough to tip the scale for him. He stops in front of a park. It was dark and lonely but he sits down on a bench. He recalls what his grandfather told him so many years ago.

_"If you faced obstacle after obstacle, you shouldn't despair at the seemingly never-ending problems. Instead, you should be proud that you were able to survive each of those seemingly never-ending problems"_

Yuuji fills his lungs with air before, throwing his shoulder back and putting his chin up. He stands up and walks. He's coming home to you. Hoping, that maybe, you were proud of him too. 

* * *

Yuuji turns the vacuum on, cleaning the carpets and the floor of a shiny black Tesla in his job at the carwash. He just finished checking if there were any valuables in the car. He worked earnestly every day at the open carwash, hoping that he'd be able to save enough but he calculated the money and it'd look like it'll take too long before he had the amount of money he needed. He'd need to find a buyer soon. The extra cash would also be used. 

"Is it done?"

"Yes, sir" Yuuji nods at the man, the owner of the Tesla, a middle-aged businessman with a permanent sneer along with his wife that was dressed in every colored jewel. Someday he'd like to give you every jewel you desire but for now, he had to focus on giving you one. The man opens the door of his car, shuffling in, fiddling with everything and Yuuji thinks that they must've been making sure the car was clean. "Terushima-san, your phone is ringing"

He thanks his co-worker for handing him his phone."Hello"

On the other end of the line, a voice that obviously belonged to a teenager answered, "Uhh hello! Is this the guy who has a Silverado for sale?"

"Yeah, I'm the guy" He hums in understanding and mentally jots down the details and places. "I've got her cleaned up. You can just come on by"

He brought the car with him to work, to get it all cleaned up, and luckily, he did because he already had someone planning to buy it. He closes his phone and turns toward his locker to go home when someone gripped his shoulder to turn him around. The owner of the Tesla was looking down on him, his arms cross, and his feet tapping the ground. His wife behind him fidgeting anxiously, shuffling through her bag.

"Yes, sir?"

A beefy hand extends towards Yuuji, palms upwards, in a "Give it to me" gesture. "Don't 'yes, sir' me. Return the bracelet"

"Sorry, what bracelet?"

"My wife's emerald bracelet, The man says furiously. Yuuji shakes his head, baffled, he double-checked everything. "There was no bracelet, sir"

"What do you mean "There was no bracelet"? You little shit! I know you're a poor bastard, so you couldn't have been able to resist stealing my wife's bracelet with your filthy little hands"

He bows his head with his hands behind his back, not finding it in him to fight back. He needed to keep this job. The man jabs at Yuuji's forehead with his finger in contempt over and over again.

"Give it back or else I'd fucking complain to your boss and make sure you remain jobless your entire life. After all, it's always dumb fuckers like you that make trouble. Thieving bastards like you should just shut up and rot in hell. Poor people like you always make problems for us. You aren't even that old! You probably knocked up some slut and that's why you're already worki-"

"Don't insult anyone else but me." Yuuji interrupts him, quietly seething with fury, he could take any jabs at his character but _never_ yours. 

"HAH!? You bastard think you can just interrupt me?" The man raises his hand to hit Yuuji and he shuts his eyes to brace for the pain-

but it doesn't come. When he opens his eyes, the man's wife was hugging her husband's arm, trying to hold him back. "Honey! The bracelet was in my bag! Please, stop making a scene." 

The man notices the onlookers whispering at him and the man coughs, trying to remain in control of the situation. He fixes his suit, he spits at Yuuji while glaring at him. "I'll let you off since I'm feeling generous" 

He was left to watch the couple drive away. He rushes to take off his uniform throwing it somewhere, grabbing his things. He acts swiftly, getting in his Silverado that smelled freshly cleaned. He locks the door and rolls up the windows. He was able to drive the car onto an empty lot. 

" _Yuuji, if it ever gets too much, you can cry. It won't make you less of a man"_

There, his body trembles as he lets all the tears he held back pour down. He never cried no matter how tough it got. Until now. He cries and cries, his shoulder that always felt a little too heavy was loosening up. There, he cried hidden from the world like a wounded animal with his car the only one who knew. 

* * *

He left home a few hours earlier than the meeting time, just to drive his car for a few more hours. He had the windows down and blasting the radio. Soon enough, he was driving to the meeting spot, and he hesitates at stepping on the accelerate. He stops before a teen in a blonde bowl-cut and green bomber jacket. 

"You the buyer?"

"Yes!"

Yuuji chuckles at the excited response. Yuuji steps out of the car and pats the hood, fondly. "You'd love this car. This truck gets the prettiest girl in town. Got a pretty damn good radio too. It'll get you where you need to go" 

"Well, I'm picking her up"

"Her?"

"The prettiest girl in town" The kid replies and Yuuji smiles at the boy who got a girl that he's dyin' to go pick up. He can see himself in him. He nods at the teen, "You saved up a lot?"

"Yup! My grandfather chipped in too"

Was the world trying to tug at Yuuji's heartstrings? It was working. He'd miss the truck and he felt his courage falter a little before he picked it up. He can't go back on his words when the kid was already driving away, their exchange done. The sun was setting and basked the place in its golden light. He remembers when his grandfather was sick and had only a few months left, they went on a trip. The last place they went was Jodogahama beach in Iwate prefecture where his grandfather parted with him leaving his last words.

_"If it ever gets too hard to say goodbye, just know, me going away isn't a permanent goodbye. It's just a very long 'see you later'."_

His grandfather followed it with a flick to his head, telling Yuuji it better be a very very long 'see you later'. That Yuuji better have a life as long as his. That in life there was always something to look forward to. Yuuji took every piece of advice and stored it in his heart. Lived by it. He had to keep moving forward. He took a step closer to the future.

* * *

"Welcome! Can I help you?"

Yuuji squirms at the formal atmosphere of the shop. "I want the one in the window"

She goes behind the counter and procures a tiny black velvet box, opening it, "This one, sir?" 

A classic pronged diamond ring. His breath hitches, the result of his hard work laid on the glass top cushioned by the confines of the ring's box. "You think she'll like it?"

The clerk smiles gently, "Oh, she'll love it and it won't just be because of the ring"

"Thank you. I'll take it" After he pays, he takes the paper bag that contained the ring and headed towards the exit. The sun shines in his eyes, he inhales before taking a step outside. He had you to come home too.

* * *

_"I'll let you in a little secret-" His grandfather leans closer like he was going to tell him the world's secrets,"-everyone's life ends in a happy ending"_

_"You don't know that" Yuuji replies, indignantly._

_His grandfather nods in agreement, "You're right, I don't. So, you better make sure you keep pushing forward in case yours does"_

_"Does what?"_

_"End in a happy ending"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: My "philosophy" or things I believe in are incorporated in grandfather's advice lmao. I spent a whole day just writing this story. I was going to make it angsty but wtf? I just had that with Oikawa's last chapter and my heart can't take it anymore.
> 
> Will it be alright with you guys if make some one-shots that don't have any romance in them? I'm not sure if I'm going to but just in case I wanted to ask


End file.
